Wounded Healers<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A\nMutual Vulnerability<\/strong>\nWednesday, \u202fSeptember 16,\n2020<\/p>\n\n\n<\/iframe><\/p>\n\n\n<p><em>Earlier\nthis year, my colleague and dear friend Jim Finley gave an unpublished talk to\nIlluman, an organization that supports men in authentic spiritual development.\nJim shared some stories from his own life, including how he began to heal from\nhis own childhood abuse and trauma with the help of Thomas Merton, who was his\nnovice master and spiritual director at the Abbey of Gethsemani.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When\nI went in to see Merton for direction, I was eighteen years old, I was just out\nof high school. Because of my trauma history I had this issue with authority\nfigures. So when I went in to try to talk to him, I hyperventilated; I had a\nhard time breathing. And he said to me, \u201cWhat’s going on?\u201d I told him, my voice\nwas shaking, and I said, \u201cI’m scared because you’re Thomas Merton.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\ncan remember being so ashamed, because I wanted him to think well of me. . . .\nHe said to me something that really was a turning point in my life. . . . I\nworked at the pig barn at the time. . . . He said, \u201cUnder obedience, every day\nafter afternoon work, before vespers, I want you to come here every day and sit\ndown and tell me one thing that happened at the pig barn each day.\u201d. . .<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\nremember thinking to myself, \u201cI can do that.\u201d And it leveled the playing field.\n. . . Just two men sitting in a room, talking about daily work. And he became a\nfather figure for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\nlearned a big lesson, which later really was to affect me in my own therapy and\nas a therapist, that when you risk sharing what hurts the most in the presence\nof someone who will not invade you or abandon you, you can learn not to invade\nor abandon yourself. Even deeper down, when you risk sharing what hurts the\nmost in the presence of someone who will not invade you or abandon you, you can\ndiscover within yourself what Jesus called the pearl of great price [Matthew\n13:46], your invincible preciousness in the midst of your fragility.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So\nthrough humility and through vulnerability, the true strength of being\nempowered, my manhood came forth, sitting in this room. Out of all the studies\nI’ve done with Merton, and my talks on Merton, I think nothing went deeper than\ntalking with him about the pigs. Because that’s compassion. . . .<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So this is my sense of manhood, I guess: a radicality, a spirituality, that gives me the courage to face the most broken and lost places within myself, discovering through that acceptance the oceanic tender mercy of God that sustains us in that brokenness, so that by learning to be this way ourselves we can pass it on to others. We can be someone in whose presence it’s safe to be vulnerable and to be open, and truly courageous and strong and powerful, as Jesus was strong and powerful, in the truest, deepest sense of the word.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"500\" height=\"336\" src=\"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Screen-Shot-2020-09-16-at-9.58.30-AM-500x336.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-19324\" srcset=\"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Screen-Shot-2020-09-16-at-9.58.30-AM-500x336.png 500w, http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Screen-Shot-2020-09-16-at-9.58.30-AM-300x202.png 300w, http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Screen-Shot-2020-09-16-at-9.58.30-AM-768x516.png 768w, http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Screen-Shot-2020-09-16-at-9.58.30-AM.png 1890w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Wounded Healers A Mutual Vulnerability Wednesday, \u202fSeptember 16, 2020 Earlier this year, my colleague and dear friend Jim Finley gave an unpublished talk to Illuman, an organization that supports men in authentic spiritual development. Jim shared some stories from his own life, including how he began to heal from his own childhood abuse and trauma […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19321"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=19321"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19321\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19326,"href":"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19321\/revisions\/19326"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=19321"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=19321"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=19321"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
<\/iframe><\/p>\n\n\n<p><em>Earlier\nthis year, my colleague and dear friend Jim Finley gave an unpublished talk to\nIlluman, an organization that supports men in authentic spiritual development.\nJim shared some stories from his own life, including how he began to heal from\nhis own childhood abuse and trauma with the help of Thomas Merton, who was his\nnovice master and spiritual director at the Abbey of Gethsemani.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When\nI went in to see Merton for direction, I was eighteen years old, I was just out\nof high school. Because of my trauma history I had this issue with authority\nfigures. So when I went in to try to talk to him, I hyperventilated; I had a\nhard time breathing. And he said to me, \u201cWhat’s going on?\u201d I told him, my voice\nwas shaking, and I said, \u201cI’m scared because you’re Thomas Merton.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\ncan remember being so ashamed, because I wanted him to think well of me. . . .\nHe said to me something that really was a turning point in my life. . . . I\nworked at the pig barn at the time. . . . He said, \u201cUnder obedience, every day\nafter afternoon work, before vespers, I want you to come here every day and sit\ndown and tell me one thing that happened at the pig barn each day.\u201d. . .<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\nremember thinking to myself, \u201cI can do that.\u201d And it leveled the playing field.\n. . . Just two men sitting in a room, talking about daily work. And he became a\nfather figure for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\nlearned a big lesson, which later really was to affect me in my own therapy and\nas a therapist, that when you risk sharing what hurts the most in the presence\nof someone who will not invade you or abandon you, you can learn not to invade\nor abandon yourself. Even deeper down, when you risk sharing what hurts the\nmost in the presence of someone who will not invade you or abandon you, you can\ndiscover within yourself what Jesus called the pearl of great price [Matthew\n13:46], your invincible preciousness in the midst of your fragility.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So\nthrough humility and through vulnerability, the true strength of being\nempowered, my manhood came forth, sitting in this room. Out of all the studies\nI’ve done with Merton, and my talks on Merton, I think nothing went deeper than\ntalking with him about the pigs. Because that’s compassion. . . .<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So this is my sense of manhood, I guess: a radicality, a spirituality, that gives me the courage to face the most broken and lost places within myself, discovering through that acceptance the oceanic tender mercy of God that sustains us in that brokenness, so that by learning to be this way ourselves we can pass it on to others. We can be someone in whose presence it’s safe to be vulnerable and to be open, and truly courageous and strong and powerful, as Jesus was strong and powerful, in the truest, deepest sense of the word.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"500\" height=\"336\" src=\"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Screen-Shot-2020-09-16-at-9.58.30-AM-500x336.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-19324\" srcset=\"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Screen-Shot-2020-09-16-at-9.58.30-AM-500x336.png 500w, http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Screen-Shot-2020-09-16-at-9.58.30-AM-300x202.png 300w, http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Screen-Shot-2020-09-16-at-9.58.30-AM-768x516.png 768w, http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Screen-Shot-2020-09-16-at-9.58.30-AM.png 1890w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Wounded Healers A Mutual Vulnerability Wednesday, \u202fSeptember 16, 2020 Earlier this year, my colleague and dear friend Jim Finley gave an unpublished talk to Illuman, an organization that supports men in authentic spiritual development. Jim shared some stories from his own life, including how he began to heal from his own childhood abuse and trauma […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19321"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=19321"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19321\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19326,"href":"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19321\/revisions\/19326"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=19321"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=19321"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/co2mannatoday.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=19321"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}