Most people first experience unconditional love not through the image of a man, but through the image of a woman\u2014in most cases, their mother. It seems that for much of the human race, the mother is the one who first parts the veil and allows us to glimpse what love is, through experiences of grounding, intimacy, tenderness, and safety\u2014things that most of us associate with God at God\u2019s best.\u202fOne of the disappointing things I have witnessed as a priest and spiritual director is how many people operate from the opposite of that\u2014from a toxic and negative image of God. Nothing wonderful and nothing transformative is ever going to happen as long as that\u2019s the case. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
One of the reasons I started to do men\u2019s work was because I realized that an awful lot of people didn\u2019t experience, expect, or trust that beloved relationship through the masculine.<\/strong> The more cultures I traveled to around the globe, the more convinced I became of the universal nature of what I call the father-wound. It seems to be a wound that many people cannot break through; they don\u2019t expect love to come from that place. <\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n Author Shannon K. Evans considers the <\/em>importance of allowing both masculine and feminine qualities in our experience of God:<\/em> <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The feminine elements in God are an important balance to the masculine ones. If all we have known of the divine is God the Father, we are walking with a spiritual limp, yes, even those of us who were lucky enough to be raised to see \u201chim\u201d as loving and tender rather than aloof or stern\u2026. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The masculinity of God is not the culprit here. Imaging God as male is valuable and good for our spiritual selves\u2026. But left unbalanced, a belief in a God who is exclusively male can lead us down a road of legalism, perfectionism, fear, self-criticism, and a plaguing sense of unworthiness<\/strong>. Sadly, many of our religious experiences have been marked by such things. <\/p>\n\n\n\n On the other hand, when we integrate the divine feminine into our understanding of God, we find we have an easier time internalizing compassion, inclusivity, radical acceptance, justice for the outcast, and unconditional love. <\/strong>In my own life the divine feminine has offered me a maternal invitation to rest and be present. After a lifetime of assuming that striving and sacrifice would always be required for my spiritual growth, this was good news indeed. [1] <\/p>\n\n\n\n Richard concludes: <\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n Whoever God is, God is somehow profoundly revealed in what it means to be feminine and masculine\u2014both! But in our time, we have to find a way to recognize, to fall in love with, and to trust the feminine<\/em> face of God. <\/strong>Most of us were not given that face in our churches, although we Catholics resolved it in an ingenious way through Mary. She, for many people, has become the accessible, trustworthy, and safe face of God.\u202f <\/p>\n\n\n\n Novelist Sue Monk Kidd describes why cultivating an image of the Sacred Feminine is so important, particularly for women raised within Christianity: <\/em>\u202f <\/p>\n\n\n\n A young girl learns Bible stories in which vital women are generally absent, in the background, or devoid of power. She learns that men go on quests, encounter God, and change history, while women support and wait for them. She hears sermons where traditional (nonthreatening) feminine roles are lifted up as God\u2019s ideal. A girl is likely to see only a few women in the higher echelons of church power.\u202f\u202f <\/p>\n\n\n\n And what does a girl, who is forming her identity, do with all the scriptures admonishing women to submission and silence? Having them \u201cexplained away\u201d as the product of an ancient time does not entirely erase her unease. She also experiences herself missing from pronouns in scripture, hymns, and prayers. And most of all, as long as God \u201chimself\u201d is exclusively male, she will experience the otherness, the lessness of herself; all the pious talk in the world about females being equal to males will fail to compute in the deeper places inside her.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n When we truly grasp for the first time that the symbol of woman can be a vessel of the sacred, that it too can be an image of the Divine, our lives will begin to pivo<\/strong>t\u2026. Internalizing the Divine Feminine provides women with the healing affirmation that they are persons in their own right, that they can make choices, that they are worthy and entitled and do not need permission. The internalization of the Sacred Feminine tells us our gender is a valuable and marvelous thing to be. [1] <\/p>\n\n\n\n Public theologian Christena Cleveland explores how an exclusively white, male image of God is limiting and even oppressive. She shares a mystical experience of encountering the unconditional love of the Sacred Black Feminine while on a mindfulness retreat:<\/em>\u202f <\/p>\n\n\n\n I sat cross-legged on my mat, and as soon as I closed my eyes and turned inward, a wave of Love crashed into me, a wave so formidable that it forced my upright body backward and onto the floor pillows behind me\u2026. This was a mighty force that didn\u2019t abuse. It was force without manipulation, force without control, and force without shame. It was the force of Love\u2014a force I had never encountered in whitemalegod\u2019s world…. <\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n I had never before experienced formidable strength in the form of Love and it undid me. I marveled that after an entire day of earnestly clearing my mind of fearful clutter, what lay beneath it all was not another to-do list from whitemalegod…. No, Love was underneath it all, just as I had hoped. That day, I discovered that at the heart of reality\u202f… flows wave after wave after wave of Love … for me\u2026. \u202f <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n This experience showed me that no matter what is going on around me and no matter how much fear tries to consume me, the Sacred Black Feminine is always available to guide me into Love. [2]\u202f <\/p>\n\n\n\nWhy \u201cShe\u201d Matters<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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\n\n\n\nThe Highs and Lows of a Single Wednesday<\/a><\/h1>\n\n\n\n