Jesus answered him, “Where I am going you cannot follow Me now, but you shall follow Me afterward.” —John 13:36

“And when He had spoken this, He said to him, ‘Follow Me’ ” (John 21:19). Three years earlier Jesus had said, “Follow Me” (Matthew 4:19), and Peter followed with no hesitation. The irresistible attraction of Jesus was upon him and he did not need the Holy Spirit to help him do it. Later he came to the place where he denied Jesus, and his heart broke. Then he received the Holy Spirit and Jesus said again, “Follow Me” (John 21:19). Now no one is in front of Peter except the Lord Jesus Christ. The first “Follow Me” was nothing mysterious; it was an external following. Jesus is now asking for an internal sacrifice and yielding (see John 21:18).

Between these two times Peter denied Jesus with oaths and curses (see Matthew 26:69-75). But then he came completely to the end of himself and all of his self-sufficiency. There was no part of himself he would ever rely on again. In his state of destitution, he was finally ready to receive all that the risen Lord had for him. “…He breathed on them, and said to them, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit’ ” (John 20:22). No matter what changes God has performed in you, never rely on them. Build only on a Person, the Lord Jesus Christ, and on the Spirit He gives.

All our promises and resolutions end in denial because we have no power to accomplish them. When we come to the end of ourselves, not just mentally but completely, we are able to “receive the Holy Spirit.” “Receive the Holy Spirit” — the idea is that of invasion. There is now only One who directs the course of your life, the Lord Jesus Christ.

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Journal DJR
Good Morning Lord,
I relate to Peter. Having gotten excited about following You… and then finding I don’t have the power to follow through. Perhaps this disappointment, like Peter’s is essential to prepare a person to accept your way. The way of self emptying, and taking up a cross daily…. Thank you for your wonderful grace and forgiveness. You don’t kick me out or label me a failure. And thank you for where you’ve led JD and me over the years. We’ve found a lot of things that don’t work and learned some good places to look when we’ve fallen off the wagon. Probably we were listening to our old “Big Four” – our need (desire?) to Look Good, Feel Good, Be Right, or Be In Control. It’s been called the Ego or the False Self or the Flesh. So we’ve come to realize that Surrender and Self Emptying are front and center as the first step of a replacement Big Four. Like Paul said here:

Philippians 2 (NLT)

6 Though he was God,
he did not think of equality with God
as something to cling to.
7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;
he took the humble position of a slave
and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,
8 he humbled himself in obedience to God
and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

You did this, Jesus. Was this just your Divine Love … or was it also a prototype and a blueprint of how we are to follow you. You told Peter, “Follow Me” Was this the key to Peter’s (and our) successfully following you?”

It’s definitely part of it.

How is that self emptying, self humbling scripture in Philippians related to the pick up your cross daily scripture? Luke 9:23 (NLT)

23 Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross daily, and follow me.

I did indeed demonstrate both self emptying and taking up a cross. I gave up my powers and rights, just like you can give up your power and rights. You’ll mainly be giving up your Big Four as you mentioned. As you practice, it will become easier. Some are called to give up more, even their lives. Big crosses like that are easier if you’ve practiced on little crosses every day…. If you refuse and hang on to your need to be right, be in control, etc …you won’t advance very far. When you hang on like that, you close off your ability to hear my voice and sense my leading. A surrendered and an empty vessel is ready for filling and directing. So surrender and self emptying of your ego and those four motivations is indeed the first step. Then it will be a fight to keep your receptors clear. Those motivations don’t die easily or long term. They will resurrect… jump down off that cross. But stay diligent and watchful. Learn to watch from your heart. Not only your analytical left brain….

I feel like a child in this… Maybe that’s a good thing…

Psalm 131

1 Lord, my heart is not proud;
my eyes are not haughty.
I don’t concern myself with matters too great
or too awesome for me to grasp.
2 Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself,
like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother’s milk.
Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me.

Help us Lord, to be like that. Done with milk. Not putting down milk, … but ready for what’s next. Help us learn to calm and quiet our clamoring thoughts and wait on You… This is where curiosity is being helpful. And the balcony view. Teach us to see from our heart. See with your eyes.

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