What was given to you freely, you must give away freely. —Matthew 10:8 

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.   
—Step 12 of the Twelve Steps 

Richard emphasizes how inner transformation needs to extend outward to the world: 

After teaching the gospel for over fifty years, trying to build communities, and attempting to raise up elders and leaders, I’m convinced that one of my major failures was that I didn’t ask more of people from the very beginning. If they didn’t turn outward early, they tended to never do so. Their dominant concerns became personal self-development, spiritual consumerism, church as “more attendance” at things, or, to use a common phrase among Christians, “deepening my relationship with Jesus.” Bill W. semed to recognize this danger early on. Until people’s basic egocentricity is radically exposed and foundationally redirected, much religion becomes occupied with rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, moving alongside other isolated passengers while the whole ship sinks.  

Step 12 found a way to expose and transform that perpetual adolescence by telling us early on that we must serve others. Supporting others in their healing is not an option, not something we might eventually be “called” to after thirty-five religious retreats and fifty years of church services. It isn’t something we do when we finally get our act together. No; we don’t truly comprehend any spiritual thing until we give it away. Spiritual gifts increase only by “using” them.  

The author of the Letter of James always insists on orthopraxy instead of mere verbal orthodoxy: “To listen to the word and not obey it is like looking at your own features in a mirror, and then, after a quick look, going off and immediately forgetting what you look like” (1:23–24). For James, to “actively put it into practice is to be happy in all that one does” (1:25) and “if good works do not accompany faith, it is quite dead” (2:17). James is a unique apostle of the Twelve Step behavioral approach. [1]  

James Finley warns against the temptation to prioritize our own healing at the expense of others: 

There’s a certain temptation [as you go down the spiritual path] to say, “I’m out of here. I know it’s a troubled world, but I’m a mystic in the making. Don’t disturb me. See, I’m out of here.” There’s a temptation to think you’re finding your way into a realm of divinity or inner peace [or healing], removed from the brokenness and sadness of this world, which is really then to betray the path. Thomas Merton once said to me in the cloistered monastery, “We did not come here to breathe the rarified air beyond the suffering of this world. We came here to carry the suffering of the whole world in our heart. Otherwise, there’s no validity in living in a place like this.” What goes around comes around and it circles back around in the practice with ourselves first. [2] 

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5 For Friday John Chaffee

1.
“We mature with the damage, not with the years.”

• Mateus William
   
  Earlier this week I had a lunch meetup with an older friend who is a pastor.  He remarked to me how easy it is for people to stop growing at 28 as if most people hit adulthood and proceed to never grow beyond that.  Sometimes we grow because we want to, and sometimes we grow because we have to.  In either case, the experience of growing is often the result of struggle, discomfort, or as this quote says, “damage.”

This means our addiction to ease, comfort, and avoiding struggle is our greatest obstacle to growing.

2.
“The failure to invest in civil justice is directly related to the increase in criminal disorder.”

• Friedrich W. J. Schelling, German Philosopher
   
  Investing in prison systems and warfare is not the same thing as investing in civil justice.  Civil justice, when sought out, recreates structures, environments, and circumstances in which criminal disorder is likely to happen.

This reminds me of what Shane Claiborne often points out: retributive justice is not the same as restorative justice.

Retributive justice seeks to repay wrongdoing with equal pain/discomfort inflicted upon the perpetrator on behalf of the victim.

Restorative justice seeks to correct how the perpetrator has become twisted/malformed and repair or make amends for the victim and what they have lost.  

Restorative justice is far more in line with the God of both the Old and New Testament than retributive justice is thought to be.  The problem is that since we wrongly understand the Gospel as a matter of retributive justice from God, it wrongfully “excuses and validates” us (but not really) building a whole society around it.

3.
“Narcissism describes when a person cannot tolerate or absorb any form of shame – even ‘healthy shame’ that would enable them to self-reflect and take ownership or accountability.”

• Kathryn Wilkins, Counselor and Therapist
   
  Over the years, I have been growing in my understanding of how shame deeply impacts people and social settings.

Shame is such an uncomfortable emotion for many of us that we dive into the reflexive use of defense mechanisms of denial, rationalization, secrecy, minimizing, comparing, justifying, excusing, scapegoating, and so much more.  When people fall into those habits, it is usually because they are seeking to avoid the experience of shame.

Narcissism is the personality disorder of someone who is pathologically oriented against feeling any amount of shame or embarrassment.  And guess what?  Among the top 5 professions that are reported to display narcissism are doctors, lawyers, surgeons, business leaders, and clergy.

Lord have mercy.

4.
“The spiritual journey is a struggle to be ever more available to God and to let go of the obstacles to the transforming process.”

• Thomas Keating, Trappist Monk
   
  Freedom is the name of the game.  Freedom from every obstacle, addiction, avoidance, aversion, habit, concern, or fear that might block our being changed more and more into a person who is capable of sacrificial love.

5.
“Blessed are the weird people: poets, misfits, writers, mystics, painters, troubadours for they teach us to see the world through different eyes.”

• Jacob Nordby, Writer
   
  Every time I see the word “troubadour” the person of St. Francis of Assisi comes to mind!

May we all be misfit saints!

Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood [God], praying only for knowledge of [God’s] will for us and the power to carry that out.  
—Step 11 of the Twelve Steps   

Father Richard connects prayer and meditation to a deepening acceptance of the will of God:  

The word prayer, which Bill W. used in Step 11, juxtaposed with the word meditation, is a code word for an entirely different way of processing life. When we “pray,” we are hopefully moving from an egocentric perspective to a soul-centric perspective. It’s the prayer of quiet and self-surrender that best allows us to follow Step 11, which Bill W. must have recognized by also using the word meditation—at a time when that word was not at all common in Christian circles. He was right, because only contemplative prayer or meditation invades, touches, and heals the unconscious! This is where all the woundedness lies—but also where God hides and reveals, “in that secret place” (Matthew 6:6). [1] 

Mindfulness teacher Thérèse Jacobs-Stewart visited the Missionaries of Charity Motherhouse in India, where Mother Teresa spoke of prayer:   

[Mother Teresa] said daily prayer and meditation helped to keep the nuns from getting disheartened.  

“You should pray and meditate every day, so you know that you are loved, so you feel the presence of God’s love in your life. This is the only way you can truly help others and serve the poorest of the poor. We have to give from a full heart, one that is saturated with love, overflowing to others. Before we can give freely, we have to know that we are loved. This is why you should pray and meditate every day. So you can remember you are loved, letting it fill your heart and your body. Let it fill every cell of your being. Then give it all away.” She smiled. “Do you see?”… 

In my early years of working Step 11, all that seeking through prayer and meditation seemed like a lot of effort. I realize now that I was striving, applying my usual style of managing and controlling to my spiritual practice…. Now, thirty-some years later, I think that conscious contact simply takes time on the cushion. [2] 

Richard continues:  

The Twelve Step Program was deeply inspired in recognizing that we need forms of prayer and meditation that would lead us to “conscious contact with God.” Prayer and meditation can bring us to real inner “knowledge of God’s will for us” and the “power to carry it out” (actual inner empowerment and new motivation from a deeper Source).  

People’s willingness to find God in their own struggle with life—and let it change them—is their deepest and truest obedience to God’s eternal will. Remember, always remember, that the heartfelt desire to do the will of God is, in fact, the truest will of God. At that point, God has won, the ego has lost, and our prayers have already been answered. [3] 

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Sarah Young; Jesus Calling

As you listen to birds calling to one another, hear also My Love-call to you. I speak to you continually: through sights, sounds, thoughts, impressions, scriptures. There is no limit to the variety of ways I can communicate with you. Your part is to be attentive to My messages, in whatever form they come. When you set out to find Me in a day, you discover that the world is vibrantly alive with My Presence. You can find Me not only in beauty and birdcalls, but also in tragedy and faces filled with grief. I can take the deepest sorrow and weave it into a pattern for good.
     Search for Me and My messages, as you go through this day. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with your whole being.

RELATED SCRIPTURE:
John 10:27 (NLT)
27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.

Romans 8:28 (NLT)
28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Additional insight regarding Romans 8:28: God works in “everything” – not just isolated incidents – for our good. This does not mean that all happens to us is good. Evil is prevalent in our fallen world, but God is able to turn every circumstance around for our long-range good. Note that God is not working to make us happy but to fulfill his purpose. Note also that this promise is not for everybody. It can be claimed only by those who love God and are called by him, that is, those whom the Holy Spirit convinces to receive Christ. Such people have a new perspective, a new mindset. They trust in God, not in worldly treasures; their security is in heaven, not on earth. Their faith in God does not waver in pain and persecution because they know God is with them.

Jeremiah 29:13 (NLT)
13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.

Additional insight regarding Jeremiah 29:13: According to God’s wise plan, his people were to have a future and a hope; consequently, they could call upon him with confidence. Although the exiles were in a difficult place and time, they need not despair because they had God’s presence, the privilege of prayer, and God’s grace. If we seek him wholeheartedly, he will be found. Neither a strange land, sorrow, persecution, nor physical problems can break our fellowship with God.

A daily examination of consciousness sounds like a very good thing indeed.  
—Richard Rohr 

Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.  
—Step 10 of the Twelve Steps  

Richard Rohr names how Step 10 is beneficial when practiced from a contemplative stance: 

I must admit: When I first read Step 10, I wanted to say, “OK, come now, let’s get on to something a bit more positive and evolved. This is beginning to feel like an endless examination of conscience and will keep people navel-gazing forever.” I still recognize that as a danger for some.  

In my training as a Franciscan, we learned from the Jesuits about a daily and personal practice of an “examination of conscience.” It certainly had wise intent and worked for some, but I believe that people with a mature conscience do this naturally anyway, through a strongly developed sense of right and wrong. Today, many Jesuits recommend instead an “examination of consciousness,” which to me feels much more fruitful. 

Consciousness is not the seeing but that which sees me seeing. It is not the knower but that which knows that I am knowing. It is not the observer but that which underlies and observes me observing. We must step back from our compulsiveness, and our attachment to ourselves, to be truly conscious. [1] 

Benedictine Sister Macrina Wiederkehr (1939–2020) suggests a series of questions for a daily “Examen of Consciousness”: 

Have the ears of my heart opened to the voice of God?  
Have the ears of my heart opened to the needs of my sisters and brothers? 
Have the eyes of my heart beheld the Divine face in all created things? 
What do I know, but live as though I do not know?… 
Is there anyone, including myself, whom I need to forgive? 
When did I experience my heart opening wide today?… 
What is the one thing in my life that is standing on tiptoe crying, “May I have your attention please?” What needs my attention? [2] 
Richard continues: 

If obeyed—listened to and followed—consciousness will become a very wise teacher of soul wisdom. It will teach us from deep within (both Jeremiah 31:33 and Romans 2:15 describe it as “the law written on our hearts”). Some call it the “Inner Witness.” On some level, soul, consciousness, and the Holy Spirit can well be thought of as the same thing, and it is always larger than me, shared, and even eternal.  

Wisely, Step 10 does not emphasize a moral inventory, which becomes too self-absorbed and self-critical, but speaks instead of a “personal inventory.” In other words, just watch yourself objectively, calmly, and compassionately. When we’re able to do this from a new viewing platform and perspective as a grounded child of God, “The Spirit will help us in our weakness” (Romans 8:26). From this most positive and dignified position, we can let go of, and even easily admit, our wrongs. [3]  

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Sarah Young Jesus Calling

Keep walking with Me along the path I have chosen for you. Your desire to live close to Me is a delight to My heart. I could instantly grant you the spiritual riches you desire, but that is not My way for you. Together we will forge a pathway up the high mountain. The journey is arduous at times, and you are weak. Someday you will dance lightfooted on the high peaks; but for now, your walk is often plodding and heavy. All I require of you is to take the next step, clinging to My hand for strength and direction. Though the path is difficult and the scenery dull at the moment, there are sparkling surprises just around the bend. Stay on the path I have selected for you. It is truly the path of Life.

RELATED SCRIPTURE:

Psalm 37:23-24 (NLT)
23 The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
    He delights in every detail of their lives.
24 Though they stumble, they will never fall,
    for the Lord holds them by the hand.

Additional insight regarding Psalm 37: 23,24: The person in whom God delights is one who follows God, trusts him, and tries to do his will. God watches over and makes firm every step that person takes. If you would like to have God direct your way, then seek his advice before you step out.

Psalm 16:11 (NLT)
11 You will show me the way of life,
    granting me the joy of your presence
    and the pleasures of living with you forever.

Additional insight regarding Psalm 16: 8-11: This psalm (16:10 – “For you will not leave my soul among the dead or allow your holy one to rot in the grave.”) is often called the messianic psalm because it is quoted in the New Testament as referring to the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Both Peter and Paul quoted from this psalm when speaking of Christ’s bodily resurrection (see Acts 2:25-28, 31; 13:35-37).

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 
—Step 9 of the Twelve Steps 

Richard Rohr invites readers to consider the “skillful means” of making amends:  

What Western religions sometimes called “wisdom,” the Eastern religions often called “skillful means.” Wisdom was not merely a heady aphorism, but a practical, best, and effective way to get the job done!  

We might say Step 9 tells us how to use skillful means both to protect our own humanity and to liberate the humanity of others. Our amends to others should be “direct,” that is, specific, personal, and concrete. Face-to-face encounters, although usually difficult after we have caused harm, work best in the long run, even if the other party rebuffs us at the first attempt. When we open the door from our side, it thus remains open, unless we reclose it by returning to defensiveness, denial, or despair. 

Another skillful insight is the cleverly added “except when to do so would injure them or others.” We often need time, discernment, and good advice from others before we know the when, how, who, and where to apologize or make amends. If not done skillfully, an apology can actually make the problem and the hurt worse. Skillful means is not just to make amends, but to make amends in ways that do not “injure” others. Truth is not just factual truth (the great mistake of fundamentalists), but a combination of both text and context, style and intent. [1]   

Anglican priest Mpho Tutu van Furth defines reparation as “the action of making amends for a wrong one has done,” and describes it as a dance:   

Reparations are their own healing liturgical dance…. The first step would speak the words “I’m sorry” and in so saying open a door for the dance to begin…. A perpetrator who is penitent could listen long to the stories of victims and their descendants and dare to hear the hurt that their actions … have caused. When the story is told and the hurt is named, reparations are the thread offered that might make repair. Ask forgiveness, it will make the repair stronger: remorseful apology and reparation twined with gracious forgiveness, strands of hope woven together to make a better future than the one that the past promised us. Our future is learning together how better to love. We must learn how better to live love and how better to live in love. We must study how better to be love and how to embody love…. 

Humility speaks: “We are sorry.” This “we are sorry” will not stand on the dais dictating the terms of its own surrender. This “we are sorry” will not try to define for the victims the edges of their experience. This “we are sorry” will not lay upon those wronged the weight of expectation. You are not required to be gracious in response. We hope that you will hear that we are genuinely sorry.  

The door is open. The dance begins. [2]  

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Sarah Young Jesus Calling

I am the Light of the World. Men crawl through their lives cursing the darkness, but all the while I am shining brightly. I desire each of My followers to be a Light-bearer. The Holy Spirit who lives in you can shine from your face, making Me visible to people around you. Ask My Spirit to live through you, as you wind your way through this day. Hold My hand in joyful trust, for I never leave your side. The Light of My Presence is shining upon you. Brighten up the world by reflecting who I am.

RELATED SCRIPTURE:

John 8:12 (NLT)
Jesus, the Light of the World
12 Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.”
Additional insight regarding John 8:12: Jesus was speaking in the Treasury – the part of the Temple where the offerings were put (John 8:20) and where candles burned to symbolize the pillar of fire that led the people of Israel through the wilderness (Exodus 13:21-22). In this context, Jesus called himself the light of the world. The pillar of fire represented God’s presence, protection, and guidance. Likewise, Jesus brings God’s presence, protection, and guidance. Is Jesus the light of your world?

Humbly asked [God] to remove our shortcomings.  
—Step 7 of the Twelve Steps 

This week’s meditations continue to explore the wisdom of the Gospels and the Twelve Steps. Father Richard responds to the perennial question, “Why do we pray?”: 

If God already knows what we need before we ask, and God actually cares about us more than we care about ourselves, then why do both Step 7 and Jesus say, each in their own way: “Ask, and you will receive. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened” (Matthew 7:7)? Are we trying to talk God into things? Does the group with the most and the best prayers win? Is prayer of petition just another way to get what we want, or to get God on our side?  

This is the mystery of asking. Why is it good to ask, and what really happens in prayers of petition or intercession? Why is it that Jesus both tells us to ask and then says, “Your Father already knows what you need, so do not babble on like the pagans do” (Matthew 6:7–8)?  

I believe prayer is a symbiotic relationship with life and with God, a synergy which creates a result larger than the exchange itself. We ask not to change God, but to change ourselves. We pray to form a living relationship, not to get things done. (That is why Jesus says all prayers are answered, which does not appear to be true, according to the evidence!) God knows that we need to pray to keep the symbiotic relationship moving and growing. Prayer is not a way to try to control God, or even to get what we want.  

Prayers of intercession or petition are one way of situating our life within total honesty and structural truth. We are all forever beggars before God and the universe. We can never engineer or guide our own transformation or conversion. If we try, it will be a self-centered and well-controlled version of conversion, with most of our preferences and addictions still fully in place, but now well-disguised.  

So, Step 7 says that we must “humbly ask God to remove our shortcomings.” We don’t dare go after our own faults or we will go after the wrong thing—or, more commonly, a clever substitute for the real thing. Instead, we have to let God first reveal our real faults to us (usually by failing and falling many times!), and then allow God to remove those faults, from God’s side and in God’s way.  

It’s important that we ask, seek, and knock to keep ourselves in right relationship with Life Itself. Life is a gift, totally given to us without cost, every day of it, and every part of it. A daily and chosen “attitude of gratitude” will keep our hands open to expect that life, allow that life, and receive that life at ever-deeper levels of satisfaction—but never to think we deserve it.

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Facing the Hurt

Richard Rohr

If you are bringing your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother or sister has anything against you, go first and be reconciled to him or her, and then come back and present your gift. —Matthew 5:23–24 

Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.   
—Step 8 of the Twelve Steps 

Father Richard names the importance of acknowledging wrong and harm, while trusting in the gift of grace: 

Despite the higher economy of grace and mercy lived and taught by Jesus, he didn’t entirely throw out the lower economy of merit or “satisfaction.” They build on one another, and the lower by itself is inadequate to life’s truly great tasks—love, forgiveness, endurance of unjust suffering, and death itself. When we move to more mature stages of love and transformation, we don’t jump over earlier stages. We must go back and rectify earlier wrongs. Otherwise, there may be no healing or open future for us—or for those we have hurt.  

God fully forgives us, but the impact or “karma” of our mistakes remains, and we must still go back and repair the bonds we’ve broken. Otherwise, others may not be able to forgive us, nor will we likely forgive ourselves. “Amazing grace” is not a way to avoid honest human relationships. Rather, it’s a way to redo them—but now, gracefully—for the liberation of both sides. Nothing just goes away in the spiritual world; all must be reconciled and accounted for. [1]  

Anne Lamott recounts how her son held her accountable after she posted insensitive comments online, and reflects on experiencing mercy: 

[My son] asked me to apologize publicly. I didn’t want to, because the hundreds of people who attacked me were so vicious…. My son said that this was not the point. The point was that I had done something beneath me that had hurt a lot of people, and that I needed to make things right.  

We talked on the phone about this and he said: “I love you, but you were wrong. You did an awful thing. Please apologize. I’m not going to let this go. And I won’t let you go, either.” He was in tears. I was sick to my stomach.  

Later he sent an e-mail: “You need to do the right thing, Mom. I love you.”   

I wrote to the public that I was deeply, unambiguously sorry, even though I secretly still felt misunderstood…. I did this imperfectly, the best I could, admitting I was wrong. I expressed contrition. It was awful.  

My son was grateful, but distant for a time…. Extending mercy had cost him, and extending mercy to myself cost me even more deeply, and it grew us both, my having screwed up on such a big stage. It taught me that mercy is a cloak that will wrap around you and protect you…. It can help you rest and breathe again for the time being, which is all we ever have. [2]  

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Sarah Young Jesus Calling

Find freedom through seeking to please Me above all else. You can have only one Master. When you let others’ expectations drive you, you scatter your energy to the winds. Your own desire to look good can also drain your energy. I am your Master, and I do not drive you to be what you are not. Your pretense displeases Me, especially when it is in My “service.” Concentrate on staying close to Me at all times. It is impossible to be inauthentic while you are focusing on My Presence.

RELATED SCRIPTURE:

Ephesians 5:8-10 (NLT)
8 For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! 9 For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true.
10 Carefully determine what pleases the Lord.

Matthew 23:8 (NLT)
8 “Don’t let anyone call you ‘Rabbi,’ for you have only one teacher, and all of you are equal as brothers and sisters.

Matthew 6:1 (NLT)
Teaching about Giving to the Needy
6 “Watch out! Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven.

Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
—Step 5 of the Twelve Steps 

Richard Rohr names accountability and confession as vital in the healing process: 

Early Christians were encouraged to participate in the healing power of communal confession: “So confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, and this will cure you” (James 5:16). Step 5 of the Twelve Steps says the same thing. Clearly, some notion of peer accountability and personal responsibility for our mistakes and failures is essential to heal or restore actual human relationships.  

When we human beings honestly and humbly “admit” to one another “the exact nature of our wrongs,” we invariably have a human and humanizing encounter that deeply enriches both sides, and even changes lives—often forever! It’s no longer an exercise to achieve moral purity or regain God’s love, but in fact a direct encounter with God’s love. It’s not about punishing one side, but liberating both sides. God resists our evil and conquers it with good, or how could God ask the same of us?! God shocks and stuns us into love. Only love effects true, healthy inner transformation. Duress, guilt, shunning, or social pressure cannot do this.  

Nothing new happens without apology and forgiveness. These are the divine technologies that regenerate every age and every situation. The “unbound” ones are best prepared to unbind the rest of the world. [1]  

Writer and activist adrienne maree brown normalizes making mistakes and working towards accountability instead of “canceling” others:  

We will tell each other we hurt people, and who. We will tell each other why, and who hurt us and how. We will tell each other what we will do to heal ourselves, and heal the wounds in our wake. We will be accountable, rigorous in our accountability, all of us unlearning, all of us crawling towards dignity. We will learn to set and hold boundaries, communicate without manipulation, give and receive consent, ask for help, love our shadows without letting them rule our relationships, and remember we are of earth, of miracle, of a whole, of a massive river—love, life, life, love.  

We all have work to do. Our work is in the light. We have no perfect moral ground to stand on, shaped as we are by this toxic complex time. We may not have time, or emotional capacity, to walk each path together. We are all flailing in the unknown at the moment, terrified, stretched beyond ourselves, ashamed, realizing the future is in our hands. We must all do our work. Be accountable and go heal, simultaneously, continuously. It’s never too late. 

We will not cancel us. If we give up this strategy [of canceling], we will learn together the other strategies that will ultimately help us break these cycles, liberate future generations from the burden of our shared and private pain, leaving nothing unspeakable in our bones, no shame in our dirt.  

Each of us is precious. We, together, must break every cycle that makes us forget this. [2] 

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5 for Friday John Chaffee

1.
“There are many things that can only be seen through eyes that have cried.”

• Oscar Romero, Bishop of El Salvador and Martyr
   
  Over the years I have slowly learned how to experience sadness within myself.  Sadness was an emotion I remember feeling when I was younger but there was a good number of years when I did my best to put them away.  I did this not so much because I believed sadness to be wrong, but because on some level I was afraid of how strongly I knew I could feel it.  Little did I understand that such repression magnifies those emotions and causes them to “leak” out in uncontrolled ways.

Then, as I have grown and become hopefully a little more integrated, I came to understand the gift that sadness has to offer.

Learning to experience my own emotions has helped me to notice things in the world that previously I failed to see.  To never be sad, I ended up blocking out topics, themes, news, people, etc that made me sad.  However, learning to experience sadness rather opened my world up and helped me to experience more of it.

So when I came across this quote from Romero, I knew its wisdom on a deep level.  Just had to share it with all of you.

2.
“Human beings are not our enemy. Our enemy is not the other person.
 
Our enemy is the violence, ignorance, and injustice in us and in the other person. When we are armed with compassion and understanding, we fight not against other people, but against the tendency to invade, to dominate, and to exploit.”

• Thich Nhat Hanh, Buddhist Monk
   
  Thich Nhat Hanh is someone I have only read a few books from, but there is so much wisdom that I have gleaned from him that sounds as though it is coming from the same source as contemplative Christianity.

In a world that seeks to shame, blame, exclude, and scapegoat, there simply has to be another way.

For me, the Way of Jesus continues to challenge me and invite me to be better.  It tells me that “we battle not against flesh and blood.”  It tells me that we all have the propensity to be “possessed” by the diabolical spirits of violence, ignorance, and injustice.  The deep wisdom of God comes forth to us through whatever it wants (“the wind goes where it wills”), and I believe that for those who do not find Christianity that compelling these days, to learn from Thich Nhat Hanh, who was good friends with Thomas Merton.

3.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’  But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.  And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.  If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.  Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.”

• Matthew 5:38-41
   
  This past week I confess that I have been indulging in the news cycle.  A fair amount of my conscious waking time was consumed with thinking about American politics, the need for spiritual maturity and sober thinking, and what (if anything) I have to offer to that situation.

The only thing that came to mind was that I have probably heard the names of Biden and Trump more often than the name of Jesus.  On top of that, I probably have heard from more sources what the presidential candidates had to say than what the Nazarene Carpenter has said.

So, here is a quote from the itinerant rabbi, Jesus.  I feel as though now is a great time for us to dive into the Sermon on the Mount with some renewed fervor.

4.
“Now the body of Christ, as I often have said, is the whole of humanity.”

• Gregory of Nyssa, Early Church Father
   
  Mystics see things in relational wholes.  It is extremists who see things as disconnected parts.

This may seem like an exaggeration, but I believe this is true, the fate of humanity and the world is wrapped up in our ability to see the whole and how we all belong to, with, and for one another.

5.
“Now let us begin. Now let us re-dedicate ourselves to the long and bitter, but beautiful, struggle for a new world.”

• Martin Luther King, Jr., Baptist Pastor and Civil Rights Activist
   
  When the world feels so crazy, it is a human impulse to react and retaliate.  However, it is also a human ability to rise above that way of living and respond by recommitting to the virtues we say we uphold.

Hold fast.

Keep to the virtues.

The world may be in a dizzying spin, but I believe it will never truly tire of those who are truly holy.

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
—Step 4 of the Twelve Steps  

Father Richard helps us understand that a moral inventory or “shadow work” is a necessary part of the spiritual life: 

I am convinced that some people are driven to addictions to quiet their constant inner critic, but it only gives them another thing to hate about themselves. What a vicious cycle! Moral scrutiny is not to discover how good or bad we are and regain some moral high ground, but to begin some honest “shadowboxing” which is at the heart of all spiritual awakening. Yes, “the truth will set you free” as Jesus says (John 8:32), but first it tends to make us miserable.  

People only come to deeper consciousness by intentional struggles with contradictions, conflicts, inconsistencies, inner confusions, and what the biblical tradition calls “sin” or moral failure. The goal is actually not the perfect avoidance of all sin, which isn’t possible anyway (see 1 John 1:8–9; Romans 5:12), but the struggle itself, and the encounter and wisdom that come from it. Law and failure create the foil, which creates the conflict, which leads to a very different kind of victory than any of us expected. Not perfect moral victory, not moral superiority, but luminosity of awareness and compassion for the world. After thirty years in “perfect” recovery, alcoholics are still imperfect and still alcoholic, and they know it, which makes all the difference. 

So shadowboxing, a “searching and fearless moral inventory,” is for the sake of truth, humility, and generosity of spirit, not vengeance on the self or some kind of complete victory. And while seeing and naming our actual faults allows us to grow and change, it may be experienced as an even greater gift by those around us.  

Our shadow self is not our evil self. It is just that part of us that we do not want to see, our unacceptable self by reason of nature, nurture, and choice. That bit of denial is what allows us to do evil and cruel things—without recognizing them as evil or cruel. Ongoing shadowboxing is absolutely necessary because we all have a well-denied shadow self. We all have that which we cannot see, will not see, dare not see. It would destroy our public and personal self-image.  

Jesus says, “Take the log out of your own eye first, and then you will see clearly enough to take the splinter out of your brother’s or sister’s eye” (Matthew 7:5). Step 4 is about dealing with our own log first, so we can stop blaming, accusing, and denying, and thus displacing the problem. It’s about seeing truthfully and fully. Note that Jesus does not just praise good moral behavior or criticize immoral behavior, as we might expect. Instead, he talks about something caught in the eye. He knows that if we see rightly, the actions and behavior will eventually take care of themselves. 

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Sarah Young Jesus Calling

I am nearer than you think, richly present in all your moments. You are connected to Me by Love-bonds that nothing can sever. However, you may sometimes feel alone, because your union with Me is invisible. Ask Me to open your eyes, so that you can find Me everywhere. The more aware you are of My Presence, the safer you feel. This is not some sort of escape from reality; it is turning into ultimate reality. I am far more real than the world you can see, hear, and touch. Faith is the confirmation of things we do not see and the conviction of their reality, perceiving as real fact what is not rewarded to the senses.

RELATED BIBLE VERSES:

Acts 17:27-28 (NLT)

27 “His purpose was for the nations to seek after God and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him—though he is not far from any one of us. 28 For in him we live and move and exist. As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’

Additional insight regarding Acts 17:27,28: God is in his creation and close to every one of us. But he is not trapped in his creation – he is transcendent. God is the Creator, not the creation. This means that God is sovereign and in control, while at the same time, he is close and personal. Let the Creator of the universe rule your life. 

Hebrews 11:1 (NLT)

Great Examples of Faith

11 Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see.

Additional insight regarding Hebrews 11:1: Do you remember how you felt when you were very young and your birthday approached? You were excited and anxious. You knew you would certainly receive gifts and other special treats. But some things would be a surprise. Birthdays combine assurance and anticipation, and so does faith! Faith is the confidence based on past experience that God’s new and fresh surprises will surely be ours. 

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to God as we understood [God]. 
—Step 3 of the Twelve Steps 

For Father Richard, surrendering our lives to God is the very essence of a spiritual life:  

Surrender will always feel like dying, and yet it’s the necessary path to liberation. It takes each of us a long time to just accept—to accept what is; to accept ourselves, others, the past, our own mistakes, and the imperfection and idiosyncrasies of almost everything. Our lack of acceptance reveals our basic resistance to life. Acceptance isn’t our mode nearly as much as aggression, resistance, fight, or flight. None of these responses achieve the deep, lasting results of true acceptance and peaceful surrender. Acceptance becomes the strangest and strongest kind of power. Surrender isn’t giving up, as we often think; it’s a giving to the moment, the event, the person, and the situation. 

Our inner blockage to turning over our will is only overcome by a decision. It will not usually happen with a feeling, a mere idea, or a verse from religious Scripture. It is the will itself, our stubborn and self-defeating willfulness, that must first be converted and handed over. It doesn’t surrender easily, and usually only when it’s demanded of us by partners, parents, children, health, or circumstances. From the time we were young and according to our ability, we have all taken control and tried to engineer our own lives in every way possible. In fact, our culture doesn’t respect people who do not “take control.” [1]  

Author Nadia Bolz-Weber describes her path to sobriety as less about following her own will than God’s:  

When I stopped drinking, when I stopped going to bars every night and instead went to church basements, it felt like it was not a matter of will. It was against my will, actually, and I was furious about it. I seethed about having had booze taken away from me when it was the one thing I could rely on to even slightly loosen those muscles in my chest that knot up from the fear and pressure of just being human….

Getting sober never felt like I had pulled myself up by my own spiritual bootstraps. It felt instead like I was on one path toward self-destruction and God pulled me off of it by the scruff of my collar, me hopelessly kicking and flailing and [cursing]. God looked at tiny, little red-faced me and said, “that’s adorable,” and then plunked me down on an entirely different path. [2] 

Richard continues: 

Bill W. was wise enough to make surrender a clear Step 3 in the program. Jesus made it step one: “If any want to follow me, let them renounce themselves” (Mark 8:34; Luke 9:23; Matthew 16:24). I’m pretty sure that Jesus meant exactly what Bill W. meant: a radical surrendering of our will to Another, whom we trust more than ourselves. [3] 

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Click Here for AudioThe climax of Jesus’ parable occurs when the father finally speaks to his older son. This is the first and only time in the story the father speaks to one of his children directly—and it’s what Jesus’ audience would have been waiting for. “When are we going to find out why this Jewish father acted so strangely,” they must have wondered.The older son had just delivered his angry defense. His argument was that he’d always obeyed his father and served him faithfully and therefore deserved a party far more than his immoral younger brother. The older son believed he’d been cheated. We read the son’s diatribe as an expression of his anger, but Jesus’ audience would have seen something more shocking. The older son was indicting the father on the charge of being dishonorable—the worst possible accusation in a shame-based culture like ancient Judea.Surprisingly, the father never addresses this accusation. He did not defend himself or give any validation to the charge of being dishonorable. Nor did he affirm his older son’s years of faithful obedience. By ignoring these culturally important aspects of the story, Jesus was implicitly saying to his audience that their focus, like the older son’s, on honor, obedience, and rewards was misplaced.Instead, Jesus cuts past these lesser cultural values to reveal what is central to the heart of God. “Son,” the father said, “you are always with me.” By focusing on his relationship with the older son the father was saying, Have I not been enough for you? Were you just working to receive a party or to earn your inheritance? Have you found no joy in being with me all of these years?  What brought the father delight was not the older son’s service, but simply his presence. More important than obedience, or honor, or wealth was having his son near him.Like the older son, we get distracted by a great many things, and we seek our fulfillment in lesser joys. We want honor and acknowledgment, and sometimes we seek this by sacrificially working for Christ and his kingdom. In our striving, we forget that our Heavenly Father desires us, not our sacrifices. He is focused on his children and longs for us to discover the joy that is found in a life with him not merely a life for him. DAILY SCRIPTURE LUKE 15:11-32 ROMANS 8:31-39 WEEKLY PRAYER. By Thomas Dekker (1570 – 1623) O God, the true and only life, in whom and from whom and by whom are all good things that are good indeed; from whom to be turned is to fall, to whom to turn is to rise again; in whom to abide is to dwell for ever, from whom to depart is to die; to whom to come again is to revive, and in whom to lodge is to live: take away from me whatever you will, so that you give me only yourself. Amen.

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
—Step 2 of the Twelve Steps 

Father Richard considers how the gift of Step 2 can only be received through a full, embodied acceptance of God’s grace:  

Step 2 is the necessary longing, delaying, and backsliding that invariably precedes the full-blown leap of faith. It’s wise to use an active verb to describe this step: “came to believe.”  The surrender of faith doesn’t happen in one moment; it is an extended journey, a gradual letting go, unlearning, and handing over. No one does it on the first or even second try. Desire and longing must be significantly deepened and broadened.  

To finally surrender ourselves to healing, we need to have three spaces opened within us—and all at the same time: our opinionated head, our closed-down heart, and our defensive and defended body. That is the work of spirituality—and it is work. Yes, it is finally the work of “a Power greater than ourselves,” and it will lead to great luminosity and depth of insight. 

When all three inner spaces are open and listening together, we can always be present. To be present is to know what we need to know in the moment. To be present to something is to allow the moment, the person, the idea, or the situation to change us.  

To keep the mind space open, we need some form of contemplative or meditation practice. One could say that authentic spirituality is invariably a matter of emptying the mind and filling the heart at the same time. 

To keep the heart space open, we almost all need some healing in regard to the hurts we’ve carried from the past. We also need to be in right and honest relationship with people, so that others can love us and touch us at deeper levels, and so we can love and touch them. Nothing else opens the heart space in such a positive and ongoing way. 

To keep our bodies less defended is also the work of healing past hurts and the many memories that seem to store themselves in the body. The body seems to never stop offering its messages. Fortunately, the body never lies, even though the mind will deceive us constantly. It’s very telling that Jesus usually physically touched people when he healed them. He knew where memory and hurt were lodged: in the body itself. 

If we are to come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity, then we will come to that belief by developing the capacity for a simple, clear, and uncluttered presence. Those who can be present with head, heart, and body at the same time will always encounter the Presence, whether they call it God or use another word. For the most part, those skills are learned by letting life come at us on its own terms, without resisting the wonderful, underlying Mystery that is everywhere, all the time, and offered.

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Click Here for AudioTrue to his character, when the father discovered that his eldest son was not home he went out to find him. There the father begged the older son to come to the party, but the young man was furious. “Look, all these years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!” (Luke 15:29-30) .Many people sympathize with the older son. His anger seems justified. Why should the disobedient son get a party while the obedient son gets nothing? But we must look more closely. Notice where the older son roots his significance: “All these years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command.” The older son obeyed, and for his obedience, he expected a reward. In this way, he really is not that different from the younger son. Neither son was particularly interested in a relationship with their father. Instead, both were focused on what they might get from their father. The younger son simply took what he desired while the older son, being a more patient and self-disciplined person, worked for it. Their methods were night and day, but both sons desired the same thing, and in neither case was it their father. In other words, both sons were self-centered. One just happened to be selfish in a more socially acceptable way. Jesus told this story at a gathering of very devoted religious people who drew a great deal of significance from their obedience to God; men who would have identified with the older son and his righteous indignation. Was Jesus saying there is something wrong with serving God? Of course not. The problem comes when we find our significance and worth in it.In the parable, Jesus was not diminishing the older son’s service, just as he was not endorsing the younger son’s sin. Instead, he was showing that both sin and service can distract us from what really matters—a relationship with God. DAILY SCRIPTURE LUKE 15:11-32 MATTHEW 9:11-13 JOHN 5:39-40 WEEKLY PRAYER. By Thomas Dekker (1570 – 1623) O God, the true and only life, in whom and from whom and by whom are all good things that are good indeed; from whom to be turned is to fall, to whom to turn is to rise again; in whom to abide is to dwell for ever, from whom to depart is to die; to whom to come again is to revive, and in whom to lodge is to live: take away from me whatever you will, so that you give me only yourself. Amen.

Father Richard Rohr connects lessons from the Gospels and the Twelve Steps as life-changing and healing messages that we can all benefit from. 

I am convinced that, on a practical level, the gospel message of Jesus and the Twelve Step message of Bill Wilson are largely the same message. The Twelve Step Program parallels, mirrors, and makes practical the same messages that Jesus gave us, but without as much danger of spiritualizing the message and pushing its effects into a future world.  

Here are four assumptions that I am making about addiction: 

We are all addicts. Human beings are addictive by nature. Addiction is a modern name and honest description for what the biblical tradition called “sin” and medieval Christians called “passions” or “attachments.” They both recognized that serious measures or practices were needed to break us out of these illusions and entrapments.  

“Stinking thinking” is the universal addiction. Substance addictions like alcohol and drugs are merely the most visible forms of addiction, but actually we are all addicted to our own habitual ways of doing anything, our own defenses, and most especially, our patterned way of thinking and processing reality. These attachments are at first hidden to us; by definition, we can never see or handle what we are addicted to, but we cannot heal what we do not first acknowledge. 

All societies are addicted to themselves and create deep codependency. There are shared and agreed-upon addictions in every culture and every institution. These are often the hardest to heal because they do not look like addictions. We have all agreed to be compulsive about the same things and unaware of the same problems. The gospel exposes those lies in every culture.  

Some form of alternative consciousness is the only freedom from the addicted self and from cultural lies. If the universal addiction is to our own pattern of thinking, which is invariably dualistic, the primary spiritual path must be some form of contemplative practice or prayer to break down this unhelpful binary system of either-or thinking and superiority thinking. Prayer is a form of non-dual resting in “what is.” Eventually, this contemplative practice changes our whole operating system!  

Let me sum up, then. These are the foundational ways that I believe Jesus and the Twelve Steps of AA are saying the same thing but with different vocabulary:  

We suffer to get well.  
We surrender to win.  
We die to live.  
We give it away to keep it.  

This counterintuitive wisdom will forever be resisted, denied, and avoided, until it’s forced upon us by some reality over which we are powerless—and, if we’re honest, we are all powerless in the presence of full Reality.  

We are all spiritually powerless, not just those who are physically addicted to a substance. Alcoholics simply have their powerlessness visible for all to see. The rest of us disguise it in different ways, and overcompensate for our more hidden and subtle addictions and attachments. 

The Grace of Powerlessness

I cannot understand my own behavior. I fail to carry out the very things I want to do and find myself doing the very things I hate … for although the will to do what is good is in me, the power to do it is not. —Romans 7:15, 18 

Admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
—Step 1 of the Twelve Steps 

Father Richard affirms the essential and difficult task of admitting our own powerlessness: 

As many teachers of the Twelve Steps have said, the first Step is probably the hardest, most denied, and most avoided. Letting go isn’t in anybody’s program for happiness, and yet all mature spirituality is about letting go and unlearning.  

Jesus used the metaphors of a “grain of wheat” (John 12:24) or a “branch cut off from the vine” (John 15:2) to describe the arrogant ego. Paul used the unfortunate word “flesh,” which made most people think he was talking about the body. Yet both Jesus and Paul were pointing to the isolated and protected small self, and both said it has to go. Its concerns are too small and too selfish. An ego response is always an inadequate or even wrong response to the moment. It will not deepen or broaden life, love, or inner peace. Since it has no inner substance, our ego self is always attached to mere externals. The ego defines itself by its attachments and revulsions. The soul does not attach, nor does it hate; it desires and loves and lets go.  

What the ego hates more than anything else is to change—even when the present situation isn’t working or is horrible. Instead, we do more and more of what does not work. The reason we do anything one more time is because the last time did not really satisfy us deeply. As English poet W. H. Auden wrote, “We would rather be ruined than changed, / We would rather die in our dread / Than climb the cross of the moment / And let our illusions die.” [1]  

Rabbi Rami Shapiro names the paradox of powerlessness and surrender to God: 

The fundamental and paradoxical premise of Twelve Step recovery as I experience it is this: The more clearly you realize your lack of control, the more powerless you discover yourself to be… [and] the more natural it is for you to be surrendered to God. The more surrendered to God you become, the less you struggle against the natural flow of life. The less you struggle against the flow of life, the freer you become. Radical powerlessness is radical freedom, liberating you from the need to control the ocean of life and freeing you to learn how best to navigate it.…  

We are all addicted to control, and it is to this greater addiction that I wish to speak. The deepest truth of Step 1 requires us to admit that we are powerless over our lives, and that life itself is unmanageable.

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Click Here for Audio The game of chicken is one of nerve, courage, and idiocy. Two racers speed toward each other on a collision course. The first person to turn away, and thereby save both from calamity, loses and is labeled a “chicken.” Some of us played this game as children on our bicycles, and most of us outgrew it—at least the physical version of the game. Sadly, some adults still engage in games of emotional chicken. Two people set themselves on a relational collision course, each refusing to change direction or give in to the other. The first one to flinch in the standoff relinquishes his power in the relationship. It’s incredibly childish and self-defeating, but some still believe that refusing to surrender or compromise is a mark of resolve and strength. They think their happiness requires the other person’s misery. This is the game the older son was playing in Jesus’ parable. He refused to enter the house and join the party celebrating the return of his younger brother. Instead, he had a pity party for himself out in the field waiting for his father to notice his absence. By standing his ground, the older son tried to show the father the intensity of his anger. For the son it was a standoff; a battle of wills. But the father didn’t play his game. He did not test his resolve. Rather, Jesus says, “The father came out to speak with him.” Despite being the elder, and despite being right, the father humbled himself and made the first move toward his arrogant son. This behavior shouldn’t surprise us. After all, the father acted similarly toward his younger son when he ran out to meet and embrace him. For the father, preserving his reputation was not nearly as important as reaching his children.If the gospels tell us anything it’s that our Lord is not afraid to appear weak. He is not preoccupied with what others think, with being taken seriously, or with being perceived as weak. In fact, it is precisely Christ’s strength that allowed him to endure the shame heaped upon him by the world. Like him, we are not to be stubborn when wronged or expect the other person to change before we engage. Instead, we are called to copy God and make the first move; to find the other person and seek reconciliation. The world says the “chicken” is the person who bends and the strong person is the one who stands his ground. In God’s kingdom, it is precisely the opposite. DAILY SCRIPTURE LUKE 15:11-32 MATTHEW 5:23-24 ROMANS 12:16-19 WEEKLY PRAYER By Thomas Dekker (1570 – 1623) O God, the true and only life, in whom and from whom and by whom are all good things that are good indeed; from whom to be turned is to fall, to whom to turn is to rise again; in whom to abide is to dwell forever, from whom to depart is to die; to whom to come again is to revive, and in whom to lodge is to live: take away from me whatever you will, so that you give me only yourself. Amen.