Meeting Fear with Rest

When fear rushed in, I learned how to hear my heart racing, but refused to allow my feelings to sway me. That resilience came from my family. It flowed through our bloodline.
—Coretta Scott King, My Life, My Love, My Legacy 

Author Cole Arthur Riley describes how she has faced a lifetime of fear, ultimately praying to God for restful steadiness.

More than most things, I’m afraid. When I say this, people always seem to want to assure me that it isn’t the case. But we know. Since I was little, I would always find a way to imagine the worst possible versions of the future. Maybe on some level I’ve grown to believe if I prepare for it, it will hurt less when it comes. But it makes for an agitated body and mind. When you always expect a demon around every corner, your most mundane moments still feel like a risk…. 

What do we do when our fears are in fact rational? When fear and wisdom are enmeshed? When we would be foolish not to fear? More often than we realize, fear is a protective intuition. It is what stops you from driving with no headlights on, from touching your hand to flame, from going outside to meet the coyotes. We don’t have to demonize our fear to survive it. For this reason, I have an aversion to language of “conquering” our fears. We are not at war with ourselves; it is better to listen with compassion. 

As a child, maybe you were told there is nothing to be afraid of. As adults, when we’re most honest, I think we know we have everything to be afraid of. This world, which has been so unsafe to so many of us, cannot be trusted not to harm us again. This isn’t pessimism, it’s confession.

Still, to live in a constant state of fear will keep you from the rest you were meant for. They are near opposites, fear and rest. It is not likely that you’ll relax those shoulders if somewhere within you feel the house is on fire. I want us to honor our fears without being tormented by them. Sacred intuition without restlessness.

This quote from James L. Farmer is at the front of my journal: “Courage, after all, is not being unafraid, but doing what needs to be done in spite of fear.” [1] The implication, of course, is that if you’re not scared, it’s not courage. If there is any bravery in me, it is in my refusal to let fear eclipse my imagination for anything other than pain. To maintain imagination for both the beautiful and the terrible is to marry prudence and hope.

Arthur Riley offers this breath practice:

INHALE: I will not be silenced by fear.

EXHALE: A quivering voice is still sacred.

INHALE: God, my soul trembles.

EXHALE: Steady me in your arms.

INHALE: I will meet this fear with rest.

EXHALE: God, steady me in your arms.

_____________________________________________________

John Chaffee Five for Friday

1.

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after [justice], for they will be filled.“

– Matthew 5:6

The Koine Greek word δικαιοσυνεν (dikaiosynen) is the word that is commonly translated in Matthew 5:6 as “righteousness.”  However, it can also be translated as “justice.”

Here we are, thousands of years after Jesus preached the Sermon on the Mount, and most people understand this verse as being primarily about piety rather than societal justice.

I wonder what the shape, color, and vitality of Western Christianity could be if it placed its emphasis on societal justice rather than personal piety…

And, what does it mean for us that this text is usually in red ink in English translations of the New Testament?  What does it have to say about us that we have translated Jesus’ own words away from emphasizing societal justice?

2.

“No one heals himself by wounding another.“

– Ambrose of Milan, Mentor of Augustine

Ever heard of Ambrose?  He is the early Church father who shepherded Augustine into the faith and even baptized him.  Without Ambrose, we wouldn’t have Augustine, and without Augustine, we wouldn’t have most of Western civilization as we know it today.

What I enjoy about this quote is both that it is true and that it is so ancient.  This saying from Ambrose is nearly 1700 years old, and yet it has stood the test of time and been passed down through the centuries because of its brevity and wisdom.

Seriously, there are just pearls like this scattered throughout Church history that we so rarely hear about from the pulpit.  It is sayings such as this that deepen my appreciation for Church history.

3.

“The best guru is the one who tells you that you do not need a guru.“

– Rob Bell, Former Pastor and Author

I have personally interacted with Rob a number of times over the past 20 years.  One thing that is remarkable about him has been the way he has publicly shared his personal evolution at almost every step.

This idea from him, though, is just his distillation of a truth that transcends time and culture…

No teacher should want you to be their student forever.

One of the things that seemed backward to me in Church culture was the way that it sometimes created a spiritual co-dependency between the congregation and the pastor.

I would talk and teach about the need to empower people to interpret the faith responsibly for themselves, to teach them, to raise them up, and to let them become equals with the pastor because, in my mind, the pastor’s main job is to remind people they can be “pastors” for one another.

You know, that whole “priesthood of all” thing?

We need pastors who can help organize, teach the basics, and mentor others, but the best pastors are ones who elevate others to their own position or even higher.

The best gurus/pastors/teachers are the ones who are happiest when you cease being their student because that means it is time for you to grow beyond them.

4.

“Almost all problems in the spiritual life stem from lack of self-knowledge.“

– Teresa of Avila, Spanish Carmelite Nun

Perhaps it is the season of life that I am in, but Teresa of Avila seems to constantly challenge me/inspire me.

5.

“Intellectualism is a common cover-up for fear of direct experience.“

– Carl Jung, Swiss Psychologist

Over the course of my own life as a head-oriented person, I have seen the ways in which I intellectualized things in order to distance myself from the intense emotions I was experiencing.

At some point, I probably internalized that it is so much “safer” to intellectualize/speculate about a situation that might make me angry, sad, or disappointed rather than actually experiencing the anger, sadness, or disappointment.

Sometimes I would feel the emotions of an even a full 48 hours later.

It was not healthy.  I was not healthy.  I realized through counseling and therapy that such a distance between the head and the heart was dis-integrating.

Ever since I have been trying to keep the head and the heart experience as close together at the moment as possible, I see how it is a common problem for us humans to do so.

And, if I am being honest, I have seen how it intimidates others just to name my own emotions out loud… “This makes me angry.”  “I am sad to hear this.”

I have literally seen people freeze because they don’t know what might happen if they were to also admit their own internal experiences to themselves.

Anger is in some ways a motivating emotion, but it can turn and become too volatile.  Sadness is the opposite in that it often saps our motivation or kills our hope before it even takes root.

Again, I think that many of us are terrified of deep feelings and so we cocoon/castle up in deep thinking.

All this goes to say, be integrated.  It might be hard to keep the head and the heart both present in the moment, but I have found it to be revivifying.

• Previous Entry: Previous Post
• Next Entry: Next Post