Richard Rohr reflects on our need for human and divine intimacy:
The big secret is this: an infinite God actually seeks and desires intimacy with the human soul. Once we experience such intimacy, or desire for such union, only the intimate language of lovers describes what is going on: mystery, tenderness, singularity, specialness, nakedness, risk, ecstasy, incessant longing, and, of course, suffering. This is the vocabulary of the saints. Our biggest secrets and desires are only revealed to others, and even discovered by ourselves, in the presence of sorrow, failure, need, when we are very vulnerable, and when we feel entirely safe in the arms of love. When that happens, there is always a broadening of being on both sides. We are larger people afterwards. Those who never go there remain small.
It’s only when we are in such a tender place that God can safely reveal the “innards” of God to us. Those who are self-sufficient remain outsiders to the mystery of divine love because they will always misuse it. Only the need of a beloved knows how to receive the need and gift of the lover, and only the need of a lover knows how to receive the need and gift of the beloved.
How does this secret of intimacy become unhidden? Only when we stop hiding—from God, from ourselves, and from at least one other person. Such risky self-disclosure is what I mean by intimacy and it is the way that love is transmitted. Intimacy happens when we expose our insides—and this is always scary. We must be prepared to be rejected and the pain of rejection after self-disclosure is so great that it can sometimes take years for us to risk again.
Richard shares what his practice of celibacy has revealed to him about intimacy:
I wonder if we know how to be intimate with God if we have never practiced mutual self-disclosure with at least one other human being. I sincerely doubt the possibility. Sexuality creates an obvious and ideal container for true intimacy, at least now and then. Celibacy reveals that an awful lot of sex is not about intimacy at all. Healthy celibacy and healthy sexual encounters demand deep, true intimacy; unhealthy expressions often contribute to an effective avoidance of it. (I write this after almost 50 years in a celibate community of men, and after counseling lots of others in a sexualized world.)
Intimacy is not just a well-kept secret of the soul, not just a mystery that defies logic, not just a poverty that we avoid; I believe vulnerable intimacy is the entrance into and the lynchpin between all human and divine love. It really does not matter which comes first; it is just important that we pass through this gate of fear and find what lives inside. Intimate love is the true temple that we all desire. I guess we have to want to love and to be loved—or we will never go there.
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| An Interdependent Spiritual Ecosystem |
 In 1958, the Chinese government began a nationwide campaign to rid China of sparrows. The birds, the government claimed, were responsible for eating seeds and grain essential for the growing Chinese population. Millions of citizens were mobilized to trap and kill the birds, destroy their nests, and crush their eggs. The campaign was brutally effective. By 1960 the birds had been virtually eradicated from China. That was also when the government realized sparrows do not only eat grain—they also eat insects. With their predators gone, insect swarms multiplied and more rice was lost to pests than before the sparrow campaign began. The ecological imbalance contributed to a famine that killed an estimated 45 million people. Eventually, China replaced its sparrows by importing 250,000 birds from the Soviet Union.Science has taught us how seemingly unrelated parts of nature can affect each other. A small change in one part can ripple through the system and magnify to affect another. Ecosystems are complex webs of interdependence. This applies to other systems as well—economic systems, social systems, and even spiritual systems. Unfortunately, like the Chinese government, we often have a compartmentalized vision. We fail to recognize how one part of our life impacts another, and this can lead to tragic consequences, especially in our relationship with God. We’ve been looking at Jesus’ parable about an unmerciful servant. He owed his king an astronomical debt of 100 million denarii, but the king was merciful and forgave the full amount. The twist in Jesus’ story comes when the forgiven man encountered a fellow servant who owed him just 100 denarii but refused to show him the same mercy.When word reached the king he was furious. “You wicked servant!” he blasted, “I forgave you all of your debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?” The king rescinded his mercy and threw the man in jail. Jesus concluded with a sober warning: “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” The parable is a challenge to our compartmentalized view of faith. We have been shaped by a culture of hyper-individualism that emphasizes my “personal relationship with God,” and we often see this relationship as hermetically sealed off from all others. Faith is something we engage in privately, and we assume receiving God’s forgiveness is independent from every other relationship we have. This is why a seemingly devout Christian can justify mistreating his employees, show indifference toward a suffering group he does not identify with, or support policies that exploit the poor. He assumes these parts of his life exist in distinct, isolated spheres. Jesus, however, repeatedly emphasizes the inexorable link between our relationship with God and our relationship with others. They form a single, spiritual ecosystem in which forgiveness in one place will ripple through the entire web to affect every other part. Likewise, our refusal to show mercy toward others will impact God’s mercy, or lack of it, toward us. The story is a warning to those who would claim a life with God, but persist in cultivating anger, bitterness, and hatred toward others. As Jesus said, “The measure you use for others will be measured back to you” (Luke 6:38).DAILY SCRIPTUREMATTHEW 18:21-35 GALATIANS 6:7-10 MATTHEW 6:14-15WEEKLY PRAYERFrom John Baillie (1886 – 1960)God, let me put right before interest, Let me put others before self, Let me put the things of the spirit before the things of the body. Let me put the attainment of noble ends above the enjoyment of present pleasures. Let me put principle above reputation. Let me put you before all else. Amen. |
