Father Richard Rohr first developed his understanding of mentoring while studying male initiation rites from cultures and traditions throughout the world.
The word “mentor” comes from Greek mythology. Mentor was the name of the wise and trusted counselor of Odysseus. When Odysseus went on his long journey, he put Mentor in charge of his son, Telemachus, as his teacher and the guardian of his soul.
We long for believable mentors on every stage of our journey. In Western culture and even in the Christian tradition, we have few guides to lead us deeply into life’s full journey. We have almost no mentors who have been there themselves and who have come back to guide us through. Of course, there are many bosses, ministers, coaches, and teachers who will happily tell younger people how to “fix” their problems, so they can be “normal” again, but a true mentor guides people into their problems and through them. It feels a bit messy and wild, but also wonderful in some way. A wise mentor leads someone to their own center and to the Center, but by circuitous paths, using their two steps backward to lead them three steps forward. It may look unproductive, but it is really the wisdom path of God. [1]
We need someone to be in solidarity with us, so we can learn what it means to be in solidarity with ourselves, and eventually with others. Have we forgotten how Jesus formed his disciples? We can read all the words of Jesus in the Gospels in a matter of hours, but Jesus spent three long years discipling the people who followed him. What he gave them was not so much his words but his example and his energy, his time and his touch. “Where do you live?” said the first two disciples of Jesus. “Come and see,” he replied, “so they went and saw where he lived, and stayed with him the rest of that day” (John 1:39). What a telling account! In John’s Gospel, one of his disciples even laid his head on the breast of Jesus (see John 13:23–25). They knew how energy was passed: not primarily by sermons and books, but by relationships and presence.
I have no doubt that one of the main reasons I have done some interesting things in my life is the number of men who believed in me throughout my formation. I remember one old friar who told me as a young Franciscan, “Richard, I want you always to trust your intuitions. Promise me that you will always trust them, even if they are wrong once in a while. The direction is right and I will personally fight for you in the background if it ever comes to that.” Need I say more? He was my spiritual father on that day, and one trustworthy spiritual father, mother, friend, or mentor can make up for a hundred negative ones. [2]
What Makes a Mentor
Father Richard describes what he considers to be essential qualities of a true mentor:
I would name the first characteristic of mentors as “magnanimity of soul.” Mentors have a generous acceptance of variety, difference, and the secret, unique character of each person and where they are on their journey. Without that inner generosity, we invariably try to fit every person inside of our own box. We expect them to think, behave, and become exactly like us, because we’re the reference point. We want them to be Catholic or educated or capitalists like we are. Without a magnanimity of soul we cannot affirm, validate, or mirror the souls and journeys of others.
Secondly, to be a mentor we have to have a capacity for simple friendship. We have to know how to accompany someone, befriend and walk with them simply for the sake of relationship. If we’re focused on it for the sake of an ego boost, professional advancement, or money, then we’re not a mentor. Those concerns simply fall away for true mentors because they know that life is being transferred and shared. When we experience that flow of life from us to another person, we’re not concerned with whether we’re getting paid.
Thirdly, if a mentor is not free to talk about going down just as much as going up, they aren’t a mentor. C. S. Lewis once said that for him, “Nothing was any good until it had been down in the cellar for a while.” [1] A true mentor has the patience, the authority, and the courage to share when and how they’ve been “down in the cellar for a while.” It’s not all about climbing and achievement. If someone says we can have or be anything we want to be, that’s an objective lie and it’s a non-mentor saying that. Only wealthy people in the first world would be privileged enough to believe that. A mentor doesn’t offer “entitlement training.” [2] They invite us on a journey and say, “You’ve got to go yourself.” They also say, “I’ll accompany you. I’ll walk with you on that journey. If you need me, call me.” We can only lead people as far as we ourselves have gone. If we haven’t walked our journey, how could we possibly lead or accompany anybody else on their journey?
Even if we aren’t in a formal mentoring relationship with others, if we keep maturing, if we use all we have experienced for our own soul work, then I think we’re already giving something to the next generation. We become a generative human being, and life will flow out from us, just by being who we are. That’s precisely what they said of Jesus: “power came out from him” (Luke 6:19). He had inner authority, and when we have inner authority, we also, by our being and our bearing, offer self-confidence, grounding, and validation to those around us.
| Psalm 100: Explaining the Worship Gap |
 Click Here for AudioI love Psalm 100 for its simplicity. There is a place for nuanced theology and doctrine, and I appreciate a mind that can explore the deep mysteries of faith. But sometimes we need to be brought back to the basics. Psalm 100 calls upon all people to praise and worship God for two reasons—he made us and he is good.Unlike many other psalms, this one is not Israel-specific. It does not address God’s covenant people alone, and it does not emphasize YHWH’s incredible faithfulness to the descendants of Abraham. Instead, Psalm 100 is a universal message. The Lord is not a tribal deity responsible for only the creation of Israel and its flourishing. He has made all people and his faithfulness extends to them as well. Therefore, they also are invited to worship him even if they do not know him as intimately as Israel does.Apart from honoring him as our Creator, our worship should also be motivated by God’s goodness and love (see verse 5). Interestingly, the composer emphasizes these divine qualities rather than God’s power or holiness. Goodness and love are attractive qualities; they draw us closer to God. Power and holiness, on the other hand, may repel more than they inspire. The inability to recognize God’s goodness may explain an odd statistic I call the worship gap.We live in a culture, according to researchers, in which seven in ten Americans hold a theistic view of God. That means they believe in a personal God actively engaged in the world. But a surprisingly small number, only about 14 percent, worship him with any regularity. Simply put, belief in God is high but praise of God is very low. Why?I suspect the worship gap comes from a person’s difficulty seeing God’s goodness and love. Their vision of him has been warped and clouded by injustice, pain, suffering, and evil. They may believe God is real and that he is the Creator, but they’re just not sure whether he can be trusted. The emphasis of Psalm 100 serves as a reminder that in a broken and jaded world, the church’s most difficult task isn’t convincing people that God is real, but that God is good. DAILY SCRIPTURE PSALM 100:1-5 JAMES 1:16-18 WEEKLY PRAYER. Erasmus (1466 – 1536) Lord Jesus Christ, you said that you are the Way, the Truth, and the Life; let us never stray from you, who are the Way; nor distrust you, who are the Truth; nor rest in any other but you, who are the Life, beyond whom there is nothing to be desired either in heaven or on earth. We ask it for your name’s sake. Amen. |
