Author bell hooks (1952–2021) describes how her childhood in the Kentucky hills instructed her in the spiritual lesson of interbeing:
Growing up in a world where my grandparents did not hold regular jobs but made their living digging and selling fishing worms, growing food, raising chickens, I was ever mindful of an alternative to the capitalist system that destroyed nature’s abundance. In that world I learned experientially the concept of interbeing, which Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh talks about as that recognition of the connectedness of all human life.
That sense of interbeing was once intimately understood by black folks in the agrarian South. Nowadays it is only those who maintain our bonds to the land, to nature, who keep our vows of living in harmony with the environment, who draw spiritual strength from nature…. It is nature that reminds time and time again that “this too will pass.” To look upon a tree, or a hilly waterfall, that has stood the test of time can renew the spirit. To watch plants rise from the earth with no special tending reawakens our sense of awe and wonder. [1]
Writer Felicia Murrell describes her connection with the earth, which began in childhood:
I grew up in the south, in rural North Carolina, in a place that had red dirt…. My mom used to tell stories of me eating the red clay…. I feel the ground very deeply and intimately…. When I get burdened with the cares of the world, I often share those with the earth. One of my practices is to go find green space and kneel on the ground. I think that connection to the earth made me care about it in a very deep way. I care about the water sources. I care about the land. So often we can just think about ourselves as humans and how things serve us, but I think there’s a beautiful invitation in the circle of life to see how we’re all joined together…. When we see, just like with people, the sacred dignity, inherent worth, and beauty of something, we hold it with a lot more care, tenderness, and compassion. [2]
hooks names how the practice of noticing brings her hope and peace:
When I leave my small flat in an urban world where nature has been so relentlessly assaulted that it is easy to forget to look at a tree, a sky, a flower emerging in a sea of trash, and go to the country, I seek renewal. To live in communion with the earth fully acknowledging nature’s power with humility and grace is a practice of spiritual mindfulness that heals and restores. Making peace with the earth we make the world a place where we can be one with nature. We create and sustain environments where we can come back to ourselves, where we can return home, stand on solid ground, and be a true witness. [3]
==================
This is from Andrew Lang…….
Today’s focus is on a concept used in family systems therapy known as the “transitional character.”
This is someone who becomes a change-maker in their family lineage by refusing to pass down intergenerational trauma that was handed to them. Their presence and actions mark a transition as formerly operating cycles of violence or abuse come to an end.
A transitional character is someone who is handed a script, but through their own process of healing and ways of moving in the world, creates the conditions for themselves and future generations to move beyond it.
Prentis Hemphill writes:
We become who we are in part because of the family system that shaped us, but we can become even more of who we are when we resist, when we take a look at where we’re from, where we want to go, and then begin to transform our future.
In their beautiful book What It Takes to Heal, Hemphill shares we can all be transitional characters in our communities.
A few months back, I shared a framework known as sites of shaping/sites of change that emphasizes six areas of our life:
- individual,
- family/intimate network,
- community,
- institution,
- social norms/historical forces, and
- spirit/landscape.
In each of these areas, not just in our families, we have the opportunity to become transitional characters. Through our own commitment to healing and justice and our active participation with those around us, we are invited to take a long, honest look at the status quo and declare:
What has been does not have to continue to be.
In our workplaces, this might look like challenging “norms” that have harmed employees and former employees over time. In our faith communities, this might mean questioning how power has been used and working to co-create a new way forward. In our broader context, this might take the form of working alongside others to change how our cities and states are approaching the threat of climate change.
But it always begins with our own processing, noticing, and reflecting.
So this week, I invite you to think about the different areas of your life and how you might become, or continue to be, a transitional character within the spaces and communities you move.
❓ Questions
- If you were a transitional character in this space, what changes would be possible?
- What would need to change in you for you to be a transitional character in this space?
