Already Forgiven
Thursday, March 13, 2025
Author and Lutheran minister Nadia Bolz-Weber describes an experience of lapsing into guilt and self-incrimination during a silent retreat:
What am I doing with this openness? Resting? Sending love and light out into the world? No. In the space left from leaving the city, everyone else and all creature comforts behind, my regrets float in and stay like toy boats in a tide pool….
I always [mess] things up eventually. Why didn’t I pay more attention to that one person? I could have been more patient, spent more time with my kids, spent less time at work, asked for help when I needed it, been a better friend, been a better mom, been a better pastor. I should have done better. Never-ending accusations…. This is a toy-boat regatta of self-incrimination.
I’m nervous to say what happened next, because I know how it sounds. Eleven words came to me from … dare I say God? Maybe it was my own mind finding the emergency brake, but it didn’t seem like the words were my own, since what my own mind usually comes up with sound much closer to “Stop being such a crybaby” than the ones I heard that day on the hill. Eleven words: What if you have already been forgiven for all of that?…
The relief I felt was not a result of hearing that the things I accuse myself of are not true, but that they are not the most true thing. Grace is the most true thing.
Bolz-Weber recalls how the prophet Jonah had difficulty accepting God’s grace and forgiveness for all, especially his enemies:
The image that comes to my mind as I am cry-laughing during this “silent retreat” is that of Jonah sitting alone on his own hill, questioning God’s forgiveness…. When Jonah’s enemies repent and are shown mercy by God, Jonah … says: “That’s why I didn’t want this stupid job in the first place—because I knew, God, that you are gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love” [see Jonah 4:2]. And it’s hard to manipulate a God like that….
God’s grace and mercy throws the whole reward and punishment system out the window. So sometimes I want to yell “noooooo” and reach as fast as I can to get it back. Forgiveness can sting when we don’t feel “worthy” of it, when it seems like we are getting away with something…. As if feeling bad for what I have done is the same as being good, when in fact it is not.
What if we’ve already been forgiven for the ways we’ve hurt the people we love? What if we’ve already been forgiven for not being perfect parents? What if we’ve already been forgiven for the [stuff] we haven’t even done yet?… Maybe forgiving myself isn’t something that happens once on a silent retreat but is a daily option. Give us this day our daily forgiveness, even for ourselves.
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Jesus Calling; Sara Young
Waiting, trusting, and hoping are intricately connected, like golden strands interwoven to form a strong chain. Trusting is the central strand, because it is the response from My children that I desire the most. Waiting and hoping embellish the central strand and strengthen the chain that connects you to Me. Waiting for Me to work, with your eyes on Me, to evidence that you really do trust Me. If you mouth the words, “I trust You” while anxiously trying to make things go your way, your words ring hollow. Hoping is future-directed, connecting you to your inheritance in heaven. However, the benefits of hope fall fully on you in the present.
Because you are Mine, you don’t just pass time in your waiting. You can wait expectantly, in hopeful trust. Keep your “antennae” out to pick up even the faintest glimmer of My Presence.
RELATED SCRIPTURE:
John 14:1 (NLT)
Jesus, the Way to the Father
14 “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.
Additional insight regarding John 14:1-3: The disciples were obviously worried about death and what happens afterward. Jesus’ words still comfort us today. We know from what Jesus said that the way to eternal life, though unseen, is secure for us if we trust him with the future. He has already prepared the way to eternal life. The only issue that may still be unsettled is our willingness to believe him.
Psalm 27:14 (NLT)
14 Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.
Additional insight regarding Psalm 27:14: David knew from experience what it meant to wait for the Lord. He had been anointed king at 16, but he didn’t become king until he was 30. During the interim years, he had been changed through the wilderness by jealous King Saul. David had to wait on God for the fulfillment of his promise that David would reign. Later, after becoming king, he was chased by his rebellious son Absalom.
Waiting for God is not easy. Often he doesn’t seem to be answering our prayers or understanding the urgency of our situations. That kind of thinking implies that God is not in control or is not fair. But God is worth waiting for. Lamentations 3:24-26 calls us to hope in and wait for the Lord; God often uses times of waiting to refresh, renew, and teach us. Make good use of your waiting times by discovering what God may be trying to do in you while you are in them.
Hebrews 6:18-20 (NLT)
18 So God has given both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. 19 This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary. 20 Jesus has already gone in there for us. He has become our eternal High Priest in the order of Melchizedek.
Additional insight regarding Hebrews 6:18-19: These two unchangeable things are God’s promise and his oath. God embodies all truth; therefore, he cannot lie, and we can be secure in his promises. We don’t need to wonder if he will change his purpose and plans. Our hope of heaven stands secure and immovable, anchored in God, just as a ship/s anchor holds firmly to the seabed. To someone truly seeing who comes to God in belief, God gives an unconditional promise of acceptance. When you ask God with openness, honesty, and sincerity to save you from your sins, he will do it. If this truth gives you encouragement, assurance, and confidence, grasp it. Don’t let go no matter what happens around you.
Additional insight regarding Hebrews 6:19-20: A curtain hung between the Holy Place and the Most Holy Place, God’s inner sanctuary. This curtain prevented anyone from entering, gazing into, or even getting a fleeting glimpse of the interior of the Most Holy Place (also see Hebrews 9:1-8). The high priest could enter these once a year to stand in God’s presence and stone for the sins of the entire nation. But Christ dwells in God’s presence at all times – not just once a year – as the High priest who continually intercedes for us.
