This week’s meditations focus on the shadow self, a recurring theme in Father Richard Rohr’s work.
The shadow self is an essential concept in my work, which always needs initial clarification and definition. My understanding of the shadow comes primarily from Swiss psychotherapist Carl Gustav Jung (1875–1961).
Let’s begin with the personal shadow. During the first half of our lives (and for many, into the chronological second half of life), we are building up our persona, our separate or false self. To put it very simply, as children we learn which behaviors cause approval and disapproval from our families, teachers, and friends. If we want to have some sort of control over our lives and create pleasant outcomes, we tend to develop those things which are acceptable and repress those things which are not. Those things we repress or deny about ourselves become our shadow. The qualities we “place” in our shadow aren’t necessarily bad; they’re simply the ones that are not rewarded by our family system or culture. [1]
Persona (the self we present to the world) and shadow are correlative terms. Our shadow is what we refuse to recognize about ourselves and what we do not want others to perceive. The more we have cultivated and protected a chosen persona, the more shadow work we will need to do. Therefore, we need to be especially careful of clinging to any idealized role or self-image, like that of minister, parent, doctor, nice person, professor, moral believer, or president of this or that. These are huge personas to live up to, and they trap many people in lifelong delusion that the role is who they are and all they are allowed to be. The more we are attached to our protected self-image, the more shadow self we will likely have. In my experience, this is especially dangerous for a “spiritual leader” or “professional religious person” because it involves such an ego-inflating self-image. Whenever ministers, or any true believers, are too anti anything, we can be pretty sure there’s some shadow material lurking somewhere nearby. Zealotry often reveals one’s overly repressed shadow.
Our self-image is not substantial or lasting; it’s simply created out of our own mind, desire, and choice—and everybody else’s preferences for us! It’s not objective at all but entirely subjective (which does not mean that it doesn’t have real influence). The movement to second-half-of-life wisdom has much to do with necessary shadow work and the emergence of healthy self-critical thinking. These alone allow us to see beyond our own shadow and disguise and to find who we are, “hidden with Christ in God,” as Paul puts it (Colossians 3:3). The Zen masters call it “the face we had before we were born.” This self cannot die, lives forever and is our true self. Religion is always in some way about discovering our true self (or soul), which is also to discover God, who is our deepest truth. [2]
Humility Welcomes the Shadow
To know love we have to tell the truth to ourselves and to others. Creating a false self to mask fears and insecurities has become so common that many of us forget who we are and what we feel underneath the pretense. Breaking through this denial is always the first step in uncovering our longing to be honest and clear.
—bell hooks, All About Love
Richard Rohr describes the temptation to hide and deny what we’ve been taught is unacceptable within us:
We identify with our persona/mask so strongly when we’re young that we become masters of denial and learn to eliminate or hide anything that doesn’t support it. Neither our persona nor our shadow is evil in itself; they just allow us to do evil without recognizing it. Our shadow self makes us all into hypocrites on some level. Hypocrite is a Greek word that simply means “actor,” someone playing a role rather than being “real.” We’re all in one kind of closet or another and are even encouraged by society to play such roles. Usually everybody else can see our shadow, so it’s crucial that we learn what everybody else knows about us—except us!
Holy or whole individuals, the ones we call “saints,” are precisely the ones who have no “I” to protect or project. Their “I” is in conscious union with the “I AM” of God, and that is more than enough. Divine union overrides any need for self-hatred or self-adoration. Love holds us tightly and safely and always. Such people have met the enemy and know that the major enemy is “me” (to borrow from the comic strip character Pogo). But they do not hate the “me” either; they just see through and beyond the little “me.”
The closer we get to the light, the more of our shadow we see. Thus, truly holy people are always humble people. Christians would have been done a great service if the shadow had been distinguished from sin. Sin and shadow are not the same! We were so encouraged to avoid sin that many of us avoided facing our shadow, and then we ended up “sinning” even worse—while unaware besides! As Paul taught, “The angels of darkness must disguise themselves as angels of light” (2 Corinthians 11:14). The persona cannot bear to see evil in itself, so it always disguises it as good. The shadow self invariably presents itself as something like prudence, common sense, and justice. It says, “I’m doing this for your good,” when it actually manifests fear, control, manipulation, or even vengeance. Isn’t it fascinating that the name Lucifer literally means “light bearer”? The evil one always makes darkness look like light—and makes light look like darkness.
The gift of shadowboxing is in recognizing the shadow and its games, which takes away most of the shadow’s hidden power. No wonder that Teresa of Ávila said that the mansion of true self-knowledge was the necessary first mansion on the spiritual journey. Socrates said the same thing, “Know yourself!”
| Learning from the Mystics: James Finley |
| Quote of the Week: “The three directives are: Find your contemplative practice and practice it. Find your contemplative community and enter it. Find your contemplative teaching and follow it.” – from The Contemplative Heart, p.20. Reflection There is nothing so slow as spiritual growth. Not only that, but it does not happen accidentally! This means that if we want to grow at all in our faith, it will take both patience as well as intentionality… not to forget it is a grace through and through! Unfortunately, there are so few that can speak to an authentic deepening of faith. Few people have gone the distance and reported back about the journey. Fortunately, we have spiritual masters such as Jim Finley. In the quote from The Contemplative Heart (above), we have a distillation of Jim’s thoughts and process. As a former monastery monk himself, he sought to take his monastery training out into the world. His life goal came to be “a monk beyond the monastery walls.” During his later work as a clinical psychologist and spiritual director, he stumbled upon “three directives” that he would encourage his patients and clients to follow. Let’s walk through them together. Find your contemplative practice and practice it. – Whether our practice is morning prayer or evening prayer, it does not matter. Whether it is done in silence with a candle or being present at a child’s soccer game, all activities are already spiritual, the thing that qualifies our contemplative practice is that we are present in it. Baking, playing music, going for a daily walk, there is no hard line concerning what is contemplative or not. The fact of the matter is that the word “contemplative” simply means “to see deeply.” Whatever practice we stumble upon, that helps us to see ourselves, others, the world, and God “deeply” is the practice that we must incorporate into our lives. Given that each of us has different temperaments and affections/proclivities, it is a marvelous freedom that our practices resonate with our personalities while fulfilling the same goal, “to see deeply.” Find your contemplative community and enter it. – To take faith seriously, and to attempt to deepen it is a lonely activity. There are only so many people in the world who take earnest care of that task. Still, those people are out there. It may take some searching, and it may even take some creating, but “no man is an island.” Whether at a church, coffee shop, bar, or barn, it does not matter. The Holy Trinity itself is a community, and so we should find it no far leap to say that we were meant for the community as well. So search online for a local group, or start one yourself. The reality is that we all need other people to “mirror” back to us how we are doing as we pursue intimacy with God and authentic Christlikeness. Find your contemplative teaching and follow it. – Our “teaching” can come to us in any number of ways. It can be through the tried and true books of church history, it can be through podcasts, it can be through YouTube videos, and it can be through a mentor who speaks to us. The fact of the matter is that we are better off listening to the teachings of people from beyond ourselves in life and history rather than simply trying to teach ourselves (which would likely come with much trial and error). All the contemplatives of church history are speaking of the same intimate and infinite mystery of God, the task at hand is to find the one contemplative whose words are like a key that unlocks us. Some keys will fit, and others will not. The goal is to find the contemplative teaching that opens us up to greater expression and receptivity to Divine Love. In a world that benefits and even profits off of shallow faith, seeking out a contemplative practice, community, and teaching is a rebellious task. It is counter-cultural while also being deeply life-giving. As you are able this week, see about developing a practice, finding some people to do it with, and finding something or someone to start learning from! Prayer Heavenly Father, speak tenderly to us, and invite us into greater and greater intimacy with you at all times. If we do not have a practice, help us to discover ours. If we have no community, help us to stumble into it. If we have no teaching, help us to find it. All we ever want is more of you, and that alone is the heart, core, roots, and foundation of every one of our prayers. Amen and amen. |
| Life Overview of James Finley Who is He: James Finley When: Born in Akron, Ohio in 1943. Why He is Important: As a Clinical Psychologist and Spiritual Director, James speaks from the depth of his own experience and training about the life of a Christian mystic. Most Known For: James was a direct mentee of Thomas Merton while living in the cloistered monastery of Our Lady of Gethsemani in Trappist, Kentucky. (Also one of the Faculty of Center for Action and Contemplation) Notable Works to Check Out:Merton’s Palace of NowhereThe Contemplative HeartChristian Meditation: Experiencing the Presence of GodTurning to the Mystics Podcast |
