Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 
—Step 9 of the Twelve Steps 

Richard Rohr invites readers to consider the “skillful means” of making amends:  

What Western religions sometimes called “wisdom,” the Eastern religions often called “skillful means.” Wisdom was not merely a heady aphorism, but a practical, best, and effective way to get the job done!  

We might say Step 9 tells us how to use skillful means both to protect our own humanity and to liberate the humanity of others. Our amends to others should be “direct,” that is, specific, personal, and concrete. Face-to-face encounters, although usually difficult after we have caused harm, work best in the long run, even if the other party rebuffs us at the first attempt. When we open the door from our side, it thus remains open, unless we reclose it by returning to defensiveness, denial, or despair. 

Another skillful insight is the cleverly added “except when to do so would injure them or others.” We often need time, discernment, and good advice from others before we know the when, how, who, and where to apologize or make amends. If not done skillfully, an apology can actually make the problem and the hurt worse. Skillful means is not just to make amends, but to make amends in ways that do not “injure” others. Truth is not just factual truth (the great mistake of fundamentalists), but a combination of both text and context, style and intent. [1]   

Anglican priest Mpho Tutu van Furth defines reparation as “the action of making amends for a wrong one has done,” and describes it as a dance:   

Reparations are their own healing liturgical dance…. The first step would speak the words “I’m sorry” and in so saying open a door for the dance to begin…. A perpetrator who is penitent could listen long to the stories of victims and their descendants and dare to hear the hurt that their actions … have caused. When the story is told and the hurt is named, reparations are the thread offered that might make repair. Ask forgiveness, it will make the repair stronger: remorseful apology and reparation twined with gracious forgiveness, strands of hope woven together to make a better future than the one that the past promised us. Our future is learning together how better to love. We must learn how better to live love and how better to live in love. We must study how better to be love and how to embody love…. 

Humility speaks: “We are sorry.” This “we are sorry” will not stand on the dais dictating the terms of its own surrender. This “we are sorry” will not try to define for the victims the edges of their experience. This “we are sorry” will not lay upon those wronged the weight of expectation. You are not required to be gracious in response. We hope that you will hear that we are genuinely sorry.  

The door is open. The dance begins. [2]  

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Sarah Young Jesus Calling

I am the Light of the World. Men crawl through their lives cursing the darkness, but all the while I am shining brightly. I desire each of My followers to be a Light-bearer. The Holy Spirit who lives in you can shine from your face, making Me visible to people around you. Ask My Spirit to live through you, as you wind your way through this day. Hold My hand in joyful trust, for I never leave your side. The Light of My Presence is shining upon you. Brighten up the world by reflecting who I am.

RELATED SCRIPTURE:

John 8:12 (NLT)
Jesus, the Light of the World
12 Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.”
Additional insight regarding John 8:12: Jesus was speaking in the Treasury – the part of the Temple where the offerings were put (John 8:20) and where candles burned to symbolize the pillar of fire that led the people of Israel through the wilderness (Exodus 13:21-22). In this context, Jesus called himself the light of the world. The pillar of fire represented God’s presence, protection, and guidance. Likewise, Jesus brings God’s presence, protection, and guidance. Is Jesus the light of your world?

Humbly asked [God] to remove our shortcomings.  
—Step 7 of the Twelve Steps 

This week’s meditations continue to explore the wisdom of the Gospels and the Twelve Steps. Father Richard responds to the perennial question, “Why do we pray?”: 

If God already knows what we need before we ask, and God actually cares about us more than we care about ourselves, then why do both Step 7 and Jesus say, each in their own way: “Ask, and you will receive. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened” (Matthew 7:7)? Are we trying to talk God into things? Does the group with the most and the best prayers win? Is prayer of petition just another way to get what we want, or to get God on our side?  

This is the mystery of asking. Why is it good to ask, and what really happens in prayers of petition or intercession? Why is it that Jesus both tells us to ask and then says, “Your Father already knows what you need, so do not babble on like the pagans do” (Matthew 6:7–8)?  

I believe prayer is a symbiotic relationship with life and with God, a synergy which creates a result larger than the exchange itself. We ask not to change God, but to change ourselves. We pray to form a living relationship, not to get things done. (That is why Jesus says all prayers are answered, which does not appear to be true, according to the evidence!) God knows that we need to pray to keep the symbiotic relationship moving and growing. Prayer is not a way to try to control God, or even to get what we want.  

Prayers of intercession or petition are one way of situating our life within total honesty and structural truth. We are all forever beggars before God and the universe. We can never engineer or guide our own transformation or conversion. If we try, it will be a self-centered and well-controlled version of conversion, with most of our preferences and addictions still fully in place, but now well-disguised.  

So, Step 7 says that we must “humbly ask God to remove our shortcomings.” We don’t dare go after our own faults or we will go after the wrong thing—or, more commonly, a clever substitute for the real thing. Instead, we have to let God first reveal our real faults to us (usually by failing and falling many times!), and then allow God to remove those faults, from God’s side and in God’s way.  

It’s important that we ask, seek, and knock to keep ourselves in right relationship with Life Itself. Life is a gift, totally given to us without cost, every day of it, and every part of it. A daily and chosen “attitude of gratitude” will keep our hands open to expect that life, allow that life, and receive that life at ever-deeper levels of satisfaction—but never to think we deserve it.

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Facing the Hurt

Richard Rohr

If you are bringing your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother or sister has anything against you, go first and be reconciled to him or her, and then come back and present your gift. —Matthew 5:23–24 

Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.   
—Step 8 of the Twelve Steps 

Father Richard names the importance of acknowledging wrong and harm, while trusting in the gift of grace: 

Despite the higher economy of grace and mercy lived and taught by Jesus, he didn’t entirely throw out the lower economy of merit or “satisfaction.” They build on one another, and the lower by itself is inadequate to life’s truly great tasks—love, forgiveness, endurance of unjust suffering, and death itself. When we move to more mature stages of love and transformation, we don’t jump over earlier stages. We must go back and rectify earlier wrongs. Otherwise, there may be no healing or open future for us—or for those we have hurt.  

God fully forgives us, but the impact or “karma” of our mistakes remains, and we must still go back and repair the bonds we’ve broken. Otherwise, others may not be able to forgive us, nor will we likely forgive ourselves. “Amazing grace” is not a way to avoid honest human relationships. Rather, it’s a way to redo them—but now, gracefully—for the liberation of both sides. Nothing just goes away in the spiritual world; all must be reconciled and accounted for. [1]  

Anne Lamott recounts how her son held her accountable after she posted insensitive comments online, and reflects on experiencing mercy: 

[My son] asked me to apologize publicly. I didn’t want to, because the hundreds of people who attacked me were so vicious…. My son said that this was not the point. The point was that I had done something beneath me that had hurt a lot of people, and that I needed to make things right.  

We talked on the phone about this and he said: “I love you, but you were wrong. You did an awful thing. Please apologize. I’m not going to let this go. And I won’t let you go, either.” He was in tears. I was sick to my stomach.  

Later he sent an e-mail: “You need to do the right thing, Mom. I love you.”   

I wrote to the public that I was deeply, unambiguously sorry, even though I secretly still felt misunderstood…. I did this imperfectly, the best I could, admitting I was wrong. I expressed contrition. It was awful.  

My son was grateful, but distant for a time…. Extending mercy had cost him, and extending mercy to myself cost me even more deeply, and it grew us both, my having screwed up on such a big stage. It taught me that mercy is a cloak that will wrap around you and protect you…. It can help you rest and breathe again for the time being, which is all we ever have. [2]  

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Sarah Young Jesus Calling

Find freedom through seeking to please Me above all else. You can have only one Master. When you let others’ expectations drive you, you scatter your energy to the winds. Your own desire to look good can also drain your energy. I am your Master, and I do not drive you to be what you are not. Your pretense displeases Me, especially when it is in My “service.” Concentrate on staying close to Me at all times. It is impossible to be inauthentic while you are focusing on My Presence.

RELATED SCRIPTURE:

Ephesians 5:8-10 (NLT)
8 For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! 9 For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true.
10 Carefully determine what pleases the Lord.

Matthew 23:8 (NLT)
8 “Don’t let anyone call you ‘Rabbi,’ for you have only one teacher, and all of you are equal as brothers and sisters.

Matthew 6:1 (NLT)
Teaching about Giving to the Needy
6 “Watch out! Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven.

Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
—Step 5 of the Twelve Steps 

Richard Rohr names accountability and confession as vital in the healing process: 

Early Christians were encouraged to participate in the healing power of communal confession: “So confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, and this will cure you” (James 5:16). Step 5 of the Twelve Steps says the same thing. Clearly, some notion of peer accountability and personal responsibility for our mistakes and failures is essential to heal or restore actual human relationships.  

When we human beings honestly and humbly “admit” to one another “the exact nature of our wrongs,” we invariably have a human and humanizing encounter that deeply enriches both sides, and even changes lives—often forever! It’s no longer an exercise to achieve moral purity or regain God’s love, but in fact a direct encounter with God’s love. It’s not about punishing one side, but liberating both sides. God resists our evil and conquers it with good, or how could God ask the same of us?! God shocks and stuns us into love. Only love effects true, healthy inner transformation. Duress, guilt, shunning, or social pressure cannot do this.  

Nothing new happens without apology and forgiveness. These are the divine technologies that regenerate every age and every situation. The “unbound” ones are best prepared to unbind the rest of the world. [1]  

Writer and activist adrienne maree brown normalizes making mistakes and working towards accountability instead of “canceling” others:  

We will tell each other we hurt people, and who. We will tell each other why, and who hurt us and how. We will tell each other what we will do to heal ourselves, and heal the wounds in our wake. We will be accountable, rigorous in our accountability, all of us unlearning, all of us crawling towards dignity. We will learn to set and hold boundaries, communicate without manipulation, give and receive consent, ask for help, love our shadows without letting them rule our relationships, and remember we are of earth, of miracle, of a whole, of a massive river—love, life, life, love.  

We all have work to do. Our work is in the light. We have no perfect moral ground to stand on, shaped as we are by this toxic complex time. We may not have time, or emotional capacity, to walk each path together. We are all flailing in the unknown at the moment, terrified, stretched beyond ourselves, ashamed, realizing the future is in our hands. We must all do our work. Be accountable and go heal, simultaneously, continuously. It’s never too late. 

We will not cancel us. If we give up this strategy [of canceling], we will learn together the other strategies that will ultimately help us break these cycles, liberate future generations from the burden of our shared and private pain, leaving nothing unspeakable in our bones, no shame in our dirt.  

Each of us is precious. We, together, must break every cycle that makes us forget this. [2] 

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5 for Friday John Chaffee

1.
“There are many things that can only be seen through eyes that have cried.”

• Oscar Romero, Bishop of El Salvador and Martyr
   
  Over the years I have slowly learned how to experience sadness within myself.  Sadness was an emotion I remember feeling when I was younger but there was a good number of years when I did my best to put them away.  I did this not so much because I believed sadness to be wrong, but because on some level I was afraid of how strongly I knew I could feel it.  Little did I understand that such repression magnifies those emotions and causes them to “leak” out in uncontrolled ways.

Then, as I have grown and become hopefully a little more integrated, I came to understand the gift that sadness has to offer.

Learning to experience my own emotions has helped me to notice things in the world that previously I failed to see.  To never be sad, I ended up blocking out topics, themes, news, people, etc that made me sad.  However, learning to experience sadness rather opened my world up and helped me to experience more of it.

So when I came across this quote from Romero, I knew its wisdom on a deep level.  Just had to share it with all of you.

2.
“Human beings are not our enemy. Our enemy is not the other person.
 
Our enemy is the violence, ignorance, and injustice in us and in the other person. When we are armed with compassion and understanding, we fight not against other people, but against the tendency to invade, to dominate, and to exploit.”

• Thich Nhat Hanh, Buddhist Monk
   
  Thich Nhat Hanh is someone I have only read a few books from, but there is so much wisdom that I have gleaned from him that sounds as though it is coming from the same source as contemplative Christianity.

In a world that seeks to shame, blame, exclude, and scapegoat, there simply has to be another way.

For me, the Way of Jesus continues to challenge me and invite me to be better.  It tells me that “we battle not against flesh and blood.”  It tells me that we all have the propensity to be “possessed” by the diabolical spirits of violence, ignorance, and injustice.  The deep wisdom of God comes forth to us through whatever it wants (“the wind goes where it wills”), and I believe that for those who do not find Christianity that compelling these days, to learn from Thich Nhat Hanh, who was good friends with Thomas Merton.

3.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’  But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.  And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.  If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.  Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.”

• Matthew 5:38-41
   
  This past week I confess that I have been indulging in the news cycle.  A fair amount of my conscious waking time was consumed with thinking about American politics, the need for spiritual maturity and sober thinking, and what (if anything) I have to offer to that situation.

The only thing that came to mind was that I have probably heard the names of Biden and Trump more often than the name of Jesus.  On top of that, I probably have heard from more sources what the presidential candidates had to say than what the Nazarene Carpenter has said.

So, here is a quote from the itinerant rabbi, Jesus.  I feel as though now is a great time for us to dive into the Sermon on the Mount with some renewed fervor.

4.
“Now the body of Christ, as I often have said, is the whole of humanity.”

• Gregory of Nyssa, Early Church Father
   
  Mystics see things in relational wholes.  It is extremists who see things as disconnected parts.

This may seem like an exaggeration, but I believe this is true, the fate of humanity and the world is wrapped up in our ability to see the whole and how we all belong to, with, and for one another.

5.
“Now let us begin. Now let us re-dedicate ourselves to the long and bitter, but beautiful, struggle for a new world.”

• Martin Luther King, Jr., Baptist Pastor and Civil Rights Activist
   
  When the world feels so crazy, it is a human impulse to react and retaliate.  However, it is also a human ability to rise above that way of living and respond by recommitting to the virtues we say we uphold.

Hold fast.

Keep to the virtues.

The world may be in a dizzying spin, but I believe it will never truly tire of those who are truly holy.

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
—Step 4 of the Twelve Steps  

Father Richard helps us understand that a moral inventory or “shadow work” is a necessary part of the spiritual life: 

I am convinced that some people are driven to addictions to quiet their constant inner critic, but it only gives them another thing to hate about themselves. What a vicious cycle! Moral scrutiny is not to discover how good or bad we are and regain some moral high ground, but to begin some honest “shadowboxing” which is at the heart of all spiritual awakening. Yes, “the truth will set you free” as Jesus says (John 8:32), but first it tends to make us miserable.  

People only come to deeper consciousness by intentional struggles with contradictions, conflicts, inconsistencies, inner confusions, and what the biblical tradition calls “sin” or moral failure. The goal is actually not the perfect avoidance of all sin, which isn’t possible anyway (see 1 John 1:8–9; Romans 5:12), but the struggle itself, and the encounter and wisdom that come from it. Law and failure create the foil, which creates the conflict, which leads to a very different kind of victory than any of us expected. Not perfect moral victory, not moral superiority, but luminosity of awareness and compassion for the world. After thirty years in “perfect” recovery, alcoholics are still imperfect and still alcoholic, and they know it, which makes all the difference. 

So shadowboxing, a “searching and fearless moral inventory,” is for the sake of truth, humility, and generosity of spirit, not vengeance on the self or some kind of complete victory. And while seeing and naming our actual faults allows us to grow and change, it may be experienced as an even greater gift by those around us.  

Our shadow self is not our evil self. It is just that part of us that we do not want to see, our unacceptable self by reason of nature, nurture, and choice. That bit of denial is what allows us to do evil and cruel things—without recognizing them as evil or cruel. Ongoing shadowboxing is absolutely necessary because we all have a well-denied shadow self. We all have that which we cannot see, will not see, dare not see. It would destroy our public and personal self-image.  

Jesus says, “Take the log out of your own eye first, and then you will see clearly enough to take the splinter out of your brother’s or sister’s eye” (Matthew 7:5). Step 4 is about dealing with our own log first, so we can stop blaming, accusing, and denying, and thus displacing the problem. It’s about seeing truthfully and fully. Note that Jesus does not just praise good moral behavior or criticize immoral behavior, as we might expect. Instead, he talks about something caught in the eye. He knows that if we see rightly, the actions and behavior will eventually take care of themselves. 

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Sarah Young Jesus Calling

I am nearer than you think, richly present in all your moments. You are connected to Me by Love-bonds that nothing can sever. However, you may sometimes feel alone, because your union with Me is invisible. Ask Me to open your eyes, so that you can find Me everywhere. The more aware you are of My Presence, the safer you feel. This is not some sort of escape from reality; it is turning into ultimate reality. I am far more real than the world you can see, hear, and touch. Faith is the confirmation of things we do not see and the conviction of their reality, perceiving as real fact what is not rewarded to the senses.

RELATED BIBLE VERSES:

Acts 17:27-28 (NLT)

27 “His purpose was for the nations to seek after God and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him—though he is not far from any one of us. 28 For in him we live and move and exist. As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’

Additional insight regarding Acts 17:27,28: God is in his creation and close to every one of us. But he is not trapped in his creation – he is transcendent. God is the Creator, not the creation. This means that God is sovereign and in control, while at the same time, he is close and personal. Let the Creator of the universe rule your life. 

Hebrews 11:1 (NLT)

Great Examples of Faith

11 Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see.

Additional insight regarding Hebrews 11:1: Do you remember how you felt when you were very young and your birthday approached? You were excited and anxious. You knew you would certainly receive gifts and other special treats. But some things would be a surprise. Birthdays combine assurance and anticipation, and so does faith! Faith is the confidence based on past experience that God’s new and fresh surprises will surely be ours. 

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to God as we understood [God]. 
—Step 3 of the Twelve Steps 

For Father Richard, surrendering our lives to God is the very essence of a spiritual life:  

Surrender will always feel like dying, and yet it’s the necessary path to liberation. It takes each of us a long time to just accept—to accept what is; to accept ourselves, others, the past, our own mistakes, and the imperfection and idiosyncrasies of almost everything. Our lack of acceptance reveals our basic resistance to life. Acceptance isn’t our mode nearly as much as aggression, resistance, fight, or flight. None of these responses achieve the deep, lasting results of true acceptance and peaceful surrender. Acceptance becomes the strangest and strongest kind of power. Surrender isn’t giving up, as we often think; it’s a giving to the moment, the event, the person, and the situation. 

Our inner blockage to turning over our will is only overcome by a decision. It will not usually happen with a feeling, a mere idea, or a verse from religious Scripture. It is the will itself, our stubborn and self-defeating willfulness, that must first be converted and handed over. It doesn’t surrender easily, and usually only when it’s demanded of us by partners, parents, children, health, or circumstances. From the time we were young and according to our ability, we have all taken control and tried to engineer our own lives in every way possible. In fact, our culture doesn’t respect people who do not “take control.” [1]  

Author Nadia Bolz-Weber describes her path to sobriety as less about following her own will than God’s:  

When I stopped drinking, when I stopped going to bars every night and instead went to church basements, it felt like it was not a matter of will. It was against my will, actually, and I was furious about it. I seethed about having had booze taken away from me when it was the one thing I could rely on to even slightly loosen those muscles in my chest that knot up from the fear and pressure of just being human….

Getting sober never felt like I had pulled myself up by my own spiritual bootstraps. It felt instead like I was on one path toward self-destruction and God pulled me off of it by the scruff of my collar, me hopelessly kicking and flailing and [cursing]. God looked at tiny, little red-faced me and said, “that’s adorable,” and then plunked me down on an entirely different path. [2] 

Richard continues: 

Bill W. was wise enough to make surrender a clear Step 3 in the program. Jesus made it step one: “If any want to follow me, let them renounce themselves” (Mark 8:34; Luke 9:23; Matthew 16:24). I’m pretty sure that Jesus meant exactly what Bill W. meant: a radical surrendering of our will to Another, whom we trust more than ourselves. [3] 

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Focus on the Father

Click Here for AudioThe climax of Jesus’ parable occurs when the father finally speaks to his older son. This is the first and only time in the story the father speaks to one of his children directly—and it’s what Jesus’ audience would have been waiting for. “When are we going to find out why this Jewish father acted so strangely,” they must have wondered.The older son had just delivered his angry defense. His argument was that he’d always obeyed his father and served him faithfully and therefore deserved a party far more than his immoral younger brother. The older son believed he’d been cheated. We read the son’s diatribe as an expression of his anger, but Jesus’ audience would have seen something more shocking. The older son was indicting the father on the charge of being dishonorable—the worst possible accusation in a shame-based culture like ancient Judea.Surprisingly, the father never addresses this accusation. He did not defend himself or give any validation to the charge of being dishonorable. Nor did he affirm his older son’s years of faithful obedience. By ignoring these culturally important aspects of the story, Jesus was implicitly saying to his audience that their focus, like the older son’s, on honor, obedience, and rewards was misplaced.Instead, Jesus cuts past these lesser cultural values to reveal what is central to the heart of God. “Son,” the father said, “you are always with me.” By focusing on his relationship with the older son the father was saying, Have I not been enough for you? Were you just working to receive a party or to earn your inheritance? Have you found no joy in being with me all of these years?  What brought the father delight was not the older son’s service, but simply his presence. More important than obedience, or honor, or wealth was having his son near him.Like the older son, we get distracted by a great many things, and we seek our fulfillment in lesser joys. We want honor and acknowledgment, and sometimes we seek this by sacrificially working for Christ and his kingdom. In our striving, we forget that our Heavenly Father desires us, not our sacrifices. He is focused on his children and longs for us to discover the joy that is found in a life with him not merely a life for him. DAILY SCRIPTURE LUKE 15:11-32 ROMANS 8:31-39 WEEKLY PRAYER. By Thomas Dekker (1570 – 1623) O God, the true and only life, in whom and from whom and by whom are all good things that are good indeed; from whom to be turned is to fall, to whom to turn is to rise again; in whom to abide is to dwell for ever, from whom to depart is to die; to whom to come again is to revive, and in whom to lodge is to live: take away from me whatever you will, so that you give me only yourself. Amen.

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
—Step 2 of the Twelve Steps 

Father Richard considers how the gift of Step 2 can only be received through a full, embodied acceptance of God’s grace:  

Step 2 is the necessary longing, delaying, and backsliding that invariably precedes the full-blown leap of faith. It’s wise to use an active verb to describe this step: “came to believe.”  The surrender of faith doesn’t happen in one moment; it is an extended journey, a gradual letting go, unlearning, and handing over. No one does it on the first or even second try. Desire and longing must be significantly deepened and broadened.  

To finally surrender ourselves to healing, we need to have three spaces opened within us—and all at the same time: our opinionated head, our closed-down heart, and our defensive and defended body. That is the work of spirituality—and it is work. Yes, it is finally the work of “a Power greater than ourselves,” and it will lead to great luminosity and depth of insight. 

When all three inner spaces are open and listening together, we can always be present. To be present is to know what we need to know in the moment. To be present to something is to allow the moment, the person, the idea, or the situation to change us.  

To keep the mind space open, we need some form of contemplative or meditation practice. One could say that authentic spirituality is invariably a matter of emptying the mind and filling the heart at the same time. 

To keep the heart space open, we almost all need some healing in regard to the hurts we’ve carried from the past. We also need to be in right and honest relationship with people, so that others can love us and touch us at deeper levels, and so we can love and touch them. Nothing else opens the heart space in such a positive and ongoing way. 

To keep our bodies less defended is also the work of healing past hurts and the many memories that seem to store themselves in the body. The body seems to never stop offering its messages. Fortunately, the body never lies, even though the mind will deceive us constantly. It’s very telling that Jesus usually physically touched people when he healed them. He knew where memory and hurt were lodged: in the body itself. 

If we are to come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity, then we will come to that belief by developing the capacity for a simple, clear, and uncluttered presence. Those who can be present with head, heart, and body at the same time will always encounter the Presence, whether they call it God or use another word. For the most part, those skills are learned by letting life come at us on its own terms, without resisting the wonderful, underlying Mystery that is everywhere, all the time, and offered.

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The Shadow Side of Service

Click Here for AudioTrue to his character, when the father discovered that his eldest son was not home he went out to find him. There the father begged the older son to come to the party, but the young man was furious. “Look, all these years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!” (Luke 15:29-30) .Many people sympathize with the older son. His anger seems justified. Why should the disobedient son get a party while the obedient son gets nothing? But we must look more closely. Notice where the older son roots his significance: “All these years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command.” The older son obeyed, and for his obedience, he expected a reward. In this way, he really is not that different from the younger son. Neither son was particularly interested in a relationship with their father. Instead, both were focused on what they might get from their father. The younger son simply took what he desired while the older son, being a more patient and self-disciplined person, worked for it. Their methods were night and day, but both sons desired the same thing, and in neither case was it their father. In other words, both sons were self-centered. One just happened to be selfish in a more socially acceptable way. Jesus told this story at a gathering of very devoted religious people who drew a great deal of significance from their obedience to God; men who would have identified with the older son and his righteous indignation. Was Jesus saying there is something wrong with serving God? Of course not. The problem comes when we find our significance and worth in it.In the parable, Jesus was not diminishing the older son’s service, just as he was not endorsing the younger son’s sin. Instead, he was showing that both sin and service can distract us from what really matters—a relationship with God. DAILY SCRIPTURE LUKE 15:11-32 MATTHEW 9:11-13 JOHN 5:39-40 WEEKLY PRAYER. By Thomas Dekker (1570 – 1623) O God, the true and only life, in whom and from whom and by whom are all good things that are good indeed; from whom to be turned is to fall, to whom to turn is to rise again; in whom to abide is to dwell for ever, from whom to depart is to die; to whom to come again is to revive, and in whom to lodge is to live: take away from me whatever you will, so that you give me only yourself. Amen.

Father Richard Rohr connects lessons from the Gospels and the Twelve Steps as life-changing and healing messages that we can all benefit from. 

I am convinced that, on a practical level, the gospel message of Jesus and the Twelve Step message of Bill Wilson are largely the same message. The Twelve Step Program parallels, mirrors, and makes practical the same messages that Jesus gave us, but without as much danger of spiritualizing the message and pushing its effects into a future world.  

Here are four assumptions that I am making about addiction: 

We are all addicts. Human beings are addictive by nature. Addiction is a modern name and honest description for what the biblical tradition called “sin” and medieval Christians called “passions” or “attachments.” They both recognized that serious measures or practices were needed to break us out of these illusions and entrapments.  

“Stinking thinking” is the universal addiction. Substance addictions like alcohol and drugs are merely the most visible forms of addiction, but actually we are all addicted to our own habitual ways of doing anything, our own defenses, and most especially, our patterned way of thinking and processing reality. These attachments are at first hidden to us; by definition, we can never see or handle what we are addicted to, but we cannot heal what we do not first acknowledge. 

All societies are addicted to themselves and create deep codependency. There are shared and agreed-upon addictions in every culture and every institution. These are often the hardest to heal because they do not look like addictions. We have all agreed to be compulsive about the same things and unaware of the same problems. The gospel exposes those lies in every culture.  

Some form of alternative consciousness is the only freedom from the addicted self and from cultural lies. If the universal addiction is to our own pattern of thinking, which is invariably dualistic, the primary spiritual path must be some form of contemplative practice or prayer to break down this unhelpful binary system of either-or thinking and superiority thinking. Prayer is a form of non-dual resting in “what is.” Eventually, this contemplative practice changes our whole operating system!  

Let me sum up, then. These are the foundational ways that I believe Jesus and the Twelve Steps of AA are saying the same thing but with different vocabulary:  

We suffer to get well.  
We surrender to win.  
We die to live.  
We give it away to keep it.  

This counterintuitive wisdom will forever be resisted, denied, and avoided, until it’s forced upon us by some reality over which we are powerless—and, if we’re honest, we are all powerless in the presence of full Reality.  

We are all spiritually powerless, not just those who are physically addicted to a substance. Alcoholics simply have their powerlessness visible for all to see. The rest of us disguise it in different ways, and overcompensate for our more hidden and subtle addictions and attachments. 

The Grace of Powerlessness

I cannot understand my own behavior. I fail to carry out the very things I want to do and find myself doing the very things I hate … for although the will to do what is good is in me, the power to do it is not. —Romans 7:15, 18 

Admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
—Step 1 of the Twelve Steps 

Father Richard affirms the essential and difficult task of admitting our own powerlessness: 

As many teachers of the Twelve Steps have said, the first Step is probably the hardest, most denied, and most avoided. Letting go isn’t in anybody’s program for happiness, and yet all mature spirituality is about letting go and unlearning.  

Jesus used the metaphors of a “grain of wheat” (John 12:24) or a “branch cut off from the vine” (John 15:2) to describe the arrogant ego. Paul used the unfortunate word “flesh,” which made most people think he was talking about the body. Yet both Jesus and Paul were pointing to the isolated and protected small self, and both said it has to go. Its concerns are too small and too selfish. An ego response is always an inadequate or even wrong response to the moment. It will not deepen or broaden life, love, or inner peace. Since it has no inner substance, our ego self is always attached to mere externals. The ego defines itself by its attachments and revulsions. The soul does not attach, nor does it hate; it desires and loves and lets go.  

What the ego hates more than anything else is to change—even when the present situation isn’t working or is horrible. Instead, we do more and more of what does not work. The reason we do anything one more time is because the last time did not really satisfy us deeply. As English poet W. H. Auden wrote, “We would rather be ruined than changed, / We would rather die in our dread / Than climb the cross of the moment / And let our illusions die.” [1]  

Rabbi Rami Shapiro names the paradox of powerlessness and surrender to God: 

The fundamental and paradoxical premise of Twelve Step recovery as I experience it is this: The more clearly you realize your lack of control, the more powerless you discover yourself to be… [and] the more natural it is for you to be surrendered to God. The more surrendered to God you become, the less you struggle against the natural flow of life. The less you struggle against the flow of life, the freer you become. Radical powerlessness is radical freedom, liberating you from the need to control the ocean of life and freeing you to learn how best to navigate it.…  

We are all addicted to control, and it is to this greater addiction that I wish to speak. The deepest truth of Step 1 requires us to admit that we are powerless over our lives, and that life itself is unmanageable.

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God Does Not Play Chicken

Click Here for Audio The game of chicken is one of nerve, courage, and idiocy. Two racers speed toward each other on a collision course. The first person to turn away, and thereby save both from calamity, loses and is labeled a “chicken.” Some of us played this game as children on our bicycles, and most of us outgrew it—at least the physical version of the game. Sadly, some adults still engage in games of emotional chicken. Two people set themselves on a relational collision course, each refusing to change direction or give in to the other. The first one to flinch in the standoff relinquishes his power in the relationship. It’s incredibly childish and self-defeating, but some still believe that refusing to surrender or compromise is a mark of resolve and strength. They think their happiness requires the other person’s misery. This is the game the older son was playing in Jesus’ parable. He refused to enter the house and join the party celebrating the return of his younger brother. Instead, he had a pity party for himself out in the field waiting for his father to notice his absence. By standing his ground, the older son tried to show the father the intensity of his anger. For the son it was a standoff; a battle of wills. But the father didn’t play his game. He did not test his resolve. Rather, Jesus says, “The father came out to speak with him.” Despite being the elder, and despite being right, the father humbled himself and made the first move toward his arrogant son. This behavior shouldn’t surprise us. After all, the father acted similarly toward his younger son when he ran out to meet and embrace him. For the father, preserving his reputation was not nearly as important as reaching his children.If the gospels tell us anything it’s that our Lord is not afraid to appear weak. He is not preoccupied with what others think, with being taken seriously, or with being perceived as weak. In fact, it is precisely Christ’s strength that allowed him to endure the shame heaped upon him by the world. Like him, we are not to be stubborn when wronged or expect the other person to change before we engage. Instead, we are called to copy God and make the first move; to find the other person and seek reconciliation. The world says the “chicken” is the person who bends and the strong person is the one who stands his ground. In God’s kingdom, it is precisely the opposite. DAILY SCRIPTURE LUKE 15:11-32 MATTHEW 5:23-24 ROMANS 12:16-19 WEEKLY PRAYER By Thomas Dekker (1570 – 1623) O God, the true and only life, in whom and from whom and by whom are all good things that are good indeed; from whom to be turned is to fall, to whom to turn is to rise again; in whom to abide is to dwell forever, from whom to depart is to die; to whom to come again is to revive, and in whom to lodge is to live: take away from me whatever you will, so that you give me only yourself. Amen.

The point appears to be not just to stay the same your whole life but to grow, to really grow and open, grow in seeing, grow in awareness.
—Paula D’Arcy 

Retreat leader Paula D’Arcy recounts how she was transformed by the deep grief of losing her husband and daughter to a drunk driver:  

My call to this work came slowly because it didn’t come out of the light, it came out of an experience of darkness. During that period of time, I had an overwhelming sense that everything I had ever believed was too small—not necessarily wrong but needing to grow or expand. One of the things I confronted was my idea that the proof of a loving God was when things in your life were favorable. But in the face of my loss and all that had happened, something in me could not deny that God was nevertheless loving and with me. A considerable shift in my awareness was beginning to take place.  

I also had a growing sense that the darkness I felt was not a darkness without hope. The dark was luminous. It wasn’t something I could name at the time, I simply felt it to be from a realm greater than my human experience, and that it wanted to help me if I would turn toward it.   

I guess I would call it a force of love, and when I encountered it, my aliveness was heightened, right in the midst of the grief. All the things I used to worry about and focus on no longer mattered. As I focused on this love, my perspective grew. I understood for the first time that I wasn’t controlling anything. Life was happening on its own, and my eyes began to open to the whole world and all its suffering. I was hardly the first person to lose a husband or a child, but in my former comfortable life, before it happened to me, I hadn’t given this a lot of thought. But now that suffering was a lived experience, I realized there was so much I needed to change about how I understood life. I had to move beyond my old conclusions.  

The way I prayed changed during this time. Prior to my loss, my prayers had been petitions for things I hoped to have or intercessions for others. Now my one prayer was, “Show me. Show me,” or, “Teach me how to see.” A guidance from within began transforming me through that prayer. I felt a sincere desire to help others realize what I had begun to realize—that in the times for which there are no easy answers and when your suffering is great, something from within is able to help you, and wants to help you. It called me forward, and once I gave it my full attention, even though my circumstances were unchanged, I was changing. As my heart continued to open, I saw everything through new eyes.   

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5 For Friday John Chaffee

1.
“The monk is separated from all things, and united with all things.”

• Evagrios the Solitary, 4th Century Desert Monk
   
  Binary oppositional thinking is something that religious thinking tends to subvert.

For instance, you might expect a spiritual master such as Evagrios to say that a Christ follower is separated from all things OR united from all things.  They are to be unique/set apart/distant from/detached from all things OR they are to be united/one with/in solidarity with/attached to all things.

But to hold the two truths next to each other in a way that is not exclusive?  That is paradoxical and exceeds what logic can allow.

Even still, I have been mulling over this quote.  There seems to be so much packed into this one, single sentence.

2.
“You will know your vocation by the joy it brings you.”

• Dorothy Day, Founder of Catholic Worker
   
  I don’t know if I am living into my vocation yet, but I admit there are parts of my life that bring me quite a bit of joy and purpose.

Perhaps then the task is to chase after the joy (which is not the same thing as happiness).

3.
“Sometimes the Bible in the hand of one man is worse than a whisky bottle in the hand of (another)… There are just some kind of men who’re so busy worrying about the next world they’ve never learned to live in this one, and you can look down the street and see the results..”

• To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
   
  To Kill a Mockingbird is something I first read around 8th grade, and this quote leads me to think that it is past time to read it again.

When I hear of Christian folks who do not believe in social justice, or who believe that it is not a high priority for the Christian, I am so very confused.  My reading and understanding of the prophetic tradition of the Old Testament is that the Divine is very much concerned with whether or not our social structures and the organizing of our neighborhoods are conducive to human flourishing.

However, for Harper Lee to contrast the alcoholic and the Bible-thumper in such a way that the Bible-thumper seems to do more passive harm to the world by neglecting it is a bold task.  Rather, it drives the point that one can be “too heavenly minded they are no earthly good.”

In fact…

Here is a link to a Johnny Cash song called “No Earthly Good.”

4.
“No writing on the solitary, meditative dimensions of life can say anything that has not already been said better by the wind in the pine trees…or the silence and peace that is “heard” when the rain wanders freely among the hills and forests.
 
But what can the wind say where there is no hearer?”

• Thomas Merton, Trappist Monk
   
  Take a walk in the woods.

They have holy mysteries to share with you if you can be silent among them.

5.
“Losing makes you grow.  Who wants to grow with me?”

• Good News First by Listener
   
  Over the past 15 years I have probably seen Listener play live 5-6 times.  They are a spoken word/slam poetry over music group.  The lead singer, Dan Smith, used to be in a rap group but felt too constrained by rap as a genre.  He is one of the best lyricists if you ask me.

This line comes from early on in the song and it reappears several times throughout.

If I remember correctly, this line happened to me somewhere around 2013 when I felt as though I was losing everything around me and I was myself feeling like a bit of a loser.  Suffice it to say, it reframed “losing” for me.  If losing helps us grow, and growing helps us win, then we can be courageous and hold our chin up as we walk straight into losing/failure knowing that it will help us to grow in the end.

I even love the fact that the line is not, “Who wants to go with me?”  That is a clever pun.  Do you see what I mean that Dan Smith is a great lyricist?

Who else wants to grow with me?.

Father Richard describes how contemplation sustains our transformation: 

We can experience the Absolute in a transformative moment that relativizes everything and invites us into the world of love and grace. We can allow our opinions on politics, economics, race, and gender to gradually be changed. But these things are just sort of badges of how enlightened we are unless we find a way to go deep with them. Unless we are led to some kind of contemplative practices that continually reveal our dualistic, argumentative, and biased ways of thinking, we won’t move into a new stage of life. We’ll just have opinions. What we really need is a sustained practice that rewires and transforms our hearts and minds.  

The sustained practice of contemplation involves letting go of all the things that we use to define our so-called separate selves. It helps us access our True Self, the part of us that is always connected to God. Contemplation teaches us how to live in this open place where we watch reality come and go. We learn from it and let it change us. [1] 

Brian McLaren suggests a contemplative practice focused on being “here” with God:  

Here is the simple word by which we show up, respond to the one calling our name. Here is the way we name where we are—pleasant or unpleasant, desired or not—and declare ourselves present to God’s presence…. 

The simple word here … subverts the assumption that we have God named, figured out, and properly “targeted.” Instead, it places us out in the woods, so to speak, calling out so that we can be found by the one seeking us: “Here I am, in the presence of a mystery. Here I am, in the presence of a Presence who transcends, surpasses, overflows, and exceeds every attempt at definition, description, and even conception. Here you are, whoever you are…. May the real I and the real you become present to one another here and now.”  

Whether I feel I’m seeking God, calling out, “Is anybody here?” or whether I feel God is calling out to me and I respond, “Here I am!” I think the simple word here can do something amazingly comprehensive. Through it, I show up. I come out of hiding. I let myself be found…. This acknowledgement of mutual here-ness becomes the prelude to mutual nearness.…  

This kind of awakening begins the transformation of a religious … life into a spiritual life, a life with God—not later and elsewhere, but here and now. How much higher and wider and deeper and richer our lives become when we awaken to the presence of the real, wild, mysterious, living God…. We can respond with presentation [of ourselves], saying “Here I am, Lord. I present myself to you, presenting yourself to me.” We begin to live with a perpetual Here I am, and here you are, in our hearts, inviting constant, vital connection, unbroken communion, lifelong friendship—starting right here, starting right now. [2] 

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Sarah Young Jesus Calling

Stay calmly conscious of Me today, no matter what. Remember that I go before you as well as with you into the day. Nothing takes Me by surprise. I will not allow circumstances to overwhelm you, so long as you look to Me. I will help you cope with whatever the moment presents. Collaborating with Me brings blessings that far outweigh all your troubles. Awareness of My Presence contains Joy that can endure all eventualities.

RELATED SCRIPTURE:

Psalm 23:1-4 (NLT)
A psalm of David.
1 The Lord is my shepherd;
    I have all that I need.
2 He lets me rest in green meadows;
    he leads me beside peaceful streams.
3     He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
    bringing honor to his name.
4 Even when I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid,
    for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
    protect and comfort me.
Additional insight regarding Psalm 23:1: In describing the Lord as a shepherd, David wrote out of his own experience because he had spent his early years caring for sheep (1st Samuel 16:11,11). Sheep are completely dependent on the shepherd for provision, guidance, and protection. The New Testament calls Jesus the good shepherd (John 10:11), the great Shepherd (Hebrews 13:20), and the Great Shepherd (1st Peter 5:4). As the Lord is the good shepherd, so we are his sheep – not frightened, passive animals, but obedient followers, wise enough to follow one who will lead us in the right places and in the right ways. This psalm does not focus on the animal-like qualities of sheep but on the discipleship qualities of those who follow. When you recognize the good shepherd, follow him!

Additional insight regarding Psalm 23:2-3: When we allow God, our shepherd, to guide us, we have contentment. When we choose to sin and go on our own way, however, we cannot blame God for the environment we create for ourselves. Our shepherd knows the “green meadows” and “peaceful streams” that will restore us. We will reach these places only by following him obediently. Rebelling against the shepherd’s leading is actually rebelling against our own best interests. We must remember this the next time we are tempted to go our own way rather than the shepherd’s way.

2nd Corinthians 4:16-17 (NLT)
16 That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. 17 For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!

Additional insight regarding 2nd Corinthians 4:16: It is easy to lose heart and quit. We all have faced problems in our relationships or in our work that has caused us to think about giving up. Rather than quitting when persecution wore him down, Paul concentrated on the inner strength that came from the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 3:16). Don’t let fatigue, pain, or criticism force you off the job. Renew your commitment to serving Christ. Don’t forsake your eternal reward because of the intensity of today’s pain. Your very weakness allows the resurrection power of Christ to strengthen you moment by moment.

Drawing on the work of American thinker Ken Wilber, Father Richard describes three stages of transformation: Growing Up, Waking Up, and Cleaning Up. 

Growing Up refers to the process of psychological and emotional maturity that persons commonly undergo, both personally and culturally. We all grow up, even though inside our own bubbles. The social structures that surround us highly color, strengthen, and also limit how much we can grow up and how much of our own shadow self we will be able to face and integrate. But any full growing up has to be a growing outward and not just upward; in other words, we can be aware without being caring—which is not to be very aware!  

By Waking Up we are speaking of any spiritual experience which overcomes our experience of the self as separate from Being in general. This is variously referred to as enlightenment, awakening, or unitive consciousness, and it should be the full Christian meaning of salvation. Unfortunately, we pushed all waking up into something that would hopefully happen later, in heaven or after death, or as a reward for good behavior in this world. This was a major loss and defeat for Christianity and a disastrous misplacement of attention. We became a religion of religious transactions more than spiritual transformation.  

Waking up should be the goal of all spiritual work, sacraments, and Bible study, but, at least in the West, this has not been the case. Because we were not practice-based for the most part, and had a bias against inner experience, it seemed very presumptuous to actually believe—or believe possible—the conclusion of every significant mystic: Jesus’ “I and the Father are one” (see John 10:30), Augustine’s “God is closer to me than I am to myself,” [1] or Catherine of Genoa’s “My deepest me is God.” [2] Organized Christianity largely described waking up in terms of growing up, and that growing up was almost entirely interpreted in highly moralistic terms—and even that morality was largely culturally defined!  

We ministers talked, wrote, and preached about Cleaning Up the most, but actually did this very poorly. We happily reminded people of their moral failings with regular shaming and reminders of their sins, particularly the “hot” ones. This led to religion being identified almost exclusively with morality, rather than any deep transformation of consciousness. Hear me, please. We do indeed need to clean up, but this largely involves putting boundaries to our natural egocentricity, which does have the potential to wake us up to the illusion of our separateness over time. The goal in waking up is not personal or private perfection, but surrender, love, and union with God. Any preoccupation with my private moral perfection keeps my eyes on myself and not on God or grace or love. Cleaning up is largely about the need for early impulse control and creating necessary ego boundaries so we can actually show up in the real and much bigger world.  

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Saved From vs. Saved For

When the younger son finally returned and was embraced by his father, it meant he’d successfully escaped poverty, starvation, and death in a distant country. This perspective, however, only looks back at what the son was saved from, it does not look ahead to what he was saved for.There is a detail in Jesus’ parable we must not overlook. The son begins apologizing to his father for his rebellion, but the father never responds or even acknowledges his remarks. Instead, the father said to his servants, “Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet.” These adornments—particularly the ring—are symbols of the son’s identity and status. The son only hoped to become a servant in the father’s house, but instead, he was given back his full dignity as an heir with all of the authority the role includes. He will again rule with his father over the estate. Within too many Christian communities we fixate on what we are saved from— sin, death, and damnation—but we lack any vision of what we have been saved for. In the beginning, God created humanity to rule over creation on his behalf; we are to be God’s image-bearers on the earth who labor with him to bring all things into full, glorious flourishing. Like the younger son, however, our calling was interrupted when we rebelled against our heavenly Father.Through Christ, our full status and dignity as God’s children are restored. We aren’t merely saved from death and sin, we are also saved to reign with God and join him in the restoration of his creation. Many of us, like the younger son, come to our heavenly Father seeking to be rescued from the past and pulled out of the pit of sin we have fallen into. He certainly does that, but we then fail to celebrate the exalted status to which we have been lifted which is far above that of a servant, slave, or even restored sinner. He has made us a daughter or son with the full privileges, rights, and authority to rule alongside our heavenly Father. DAILY SCRIPTURE LUKE 15:11-24 GALATIANS 4:1-7 2 TIMOTHY 2:11-13 WEEKLY PRAYERFrom John of Damascus (676 – 749)Master and Lord, Jesus Christ our God, you alone have authority to forgive my sins, whether committed knowingly or in ignorance, and make me worthy to receive without condemnation your divine, glorious, pure and life-giving mysteries, not for my punishment, but for my purification and sanctification, now and in your future kingdom. For you, Christ our God, are compassionate and love humanity, and to you we give glory with the Father and the Holy Spirit now and forever and ever. Amen.