“Ho! Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters. . .” (Isaiah 55:1  ). Are you thirsty, or complacent and indifferent— so satisfied with your own experience that you want nothing more of God? Experience is a doorway, not a final goal. Beware of building your faith on experience, or your life will not ring true and will only sound the note of a critical spirit. Remember that you can never give another person what you have found, but you can cause him to have a desire for it.

“. . . knock, and it will be opened to you” ( Luke 11:9 ). “Draw near to God . . .” ( James 4:8 ). Knock— the door is closed, and your heartbeat races as you knock. “Cleanse your hands . . .” ( James 4:8 ). Knock a bit louder— you begin to find that you are dirty. “. . . purify your hearts . . .” ( James 4:8 ). It is becoming even more personal— you are desperate and serious now— you will do anything. “Lament . . . ” ( James 4:9 ). Have you ever lamented, expressing your sorrow before God for the condition of your inner life? There is no thread of self-pity left, only the heart-rending difficulty and amazement which comes from seeing what kind of person you really are. “Humble yourselves . . . ” (James 4:10 ). It is a humbling experience to knock at God’s door— you have to knock with the crucified thief. “. . . to him who knocks it will be opened” ( Luke 11:10  ).

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Journal Entry for Today- JDV

June 10, 2010

I am reading books and hearing music and experiencing a level of understanding I have not experienced before. My paradigms or should I say limitations of and on God are falling away as I try to grasp new levels of understanding and awareness. The searching comes from the need to know more, feel more, experience more and experience more personal growth.  Not for the sake of growth itself, but because of the hollow sinking sense that I am less than I should be in Christ Jesus.

I am frustrated with myself and my growth so I reach out for more and more understanding. So it seems that my need sparks my search and even as I pray for peace and tranquility and grace I am motivated to even deeper levels of understanding because I do not feel the peace.  Even as I sense and know the scripture concerning God and love, truth and grace I am anxious and concerned about my life, my faith and my personal ability to hold onto the intimate relationship and trust God.

And God says “You are searching for more and more of me, and that is a very good thing. You want more and more of my life in yours, and that too is a good thing. Very often the trials and challenges of life drive you to seek a closer relationship with me. Men are driven to me out of their need. Even your sense of wanting and needing more comes to you from your sense of need. Needing and wanting more of Me is not to be confused with anxiety or fear. That is the enemy talking. “

“You can feel at peace when reaching out for more of me. You can want more and more of me without feeling fearful. I will not forsake you. Nothing can separate you from my love. Know that I will finish the work I started in you. You do not have to worry about the disconnects in our daily intimate relationship, you simply need to trust Me. Rest in Me, and be submerged in my love through the Spirit of God. I am love, I am truth and I am life. I am grace, forgiveness,  peace, knowledge, wisdom and understanding. You find and have all these things in Me. Simply stay connected to me and look to me for all things, you are complete and lacking nothing when you look to Me. I came to give you life and life more abundantly. I shall meet all your needs (including your need for more of Me and the need to feel more worthy, because no one is truly worthy except…..) through Christ Jesus.