At the beginning of our life with Jesus Christ, we were sure we knew all there was to know about following Him. It was a delight to forsake everything else and to throw ourselves before Him in a fearless statement of love. But now we are not quite so sure.Jesus is far ahead of us and is beginning to seem different and unfamiliar— “Jesus was going before them; and they were amazed” (Mark 10:32).

There is an aspect of Jesus that chills even a disciple’s heart to its depth and makes his entire spiritual life gasp for air. This unusual Person with His face set “like a flint” (Isaiah 50:7) is walking with great determination ahead of me, and He strikes terror right through me. He no longer seems to be my Counselor and Friend and has a point of view about which I know nothing. All I can do is stand and stare at Him in amazement. At first I was confident that I understood Him, but now I am not so sure. I begin to realize that there is a distance between Jesus and me and I can no longer be intimate with Him. I have no idea where He is going, and the goal has become strangely distant.

Jesus Christ had to understand fully every sin and sorrow that human beings could experience, and that is what makes Him seem unfamiliar. When we see this aspect of Him, we realize we really don’t know Him. We don’t recognize even one characteristic of His life, and we don’t know how to begin to follow Him. He is far ahead of us, a Leader who seems totally unfamiliar, and we have no friendship with Him.

The discipline of dismay is an essential lesson which a disciple must learn. The danger is that we tend to look back on our times of obedience and on our past sacrifices to God in an effort to keep our enthusiasm for Him strong (see Isaiah 1:10-11). But when the darkness of dismay comes, endure until it is over, because out of it will come the ability to follow Jesus truly, which brings inexpressibly wonderful joy.

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March 15, 2011

dis·may (d s-m )

tr.v. dis·mayed, dis·may·ing, dis·mays

1. To destroy the courage or resolution of by exciting dread or apprehension.

2. To cause to lose enthusiasm; disillusion: was dismayed to learn that her favorite dancer used drugs.

3. To upset or alarm.

I was searching for the right word that struck me during a meeting with a client yesterday. I spent two hours working on his company’s issues and opportunities with him and his partner, and then outside in the parking lot, he mentioned that he may not be able to pay my fee next month as we had contracted. His clients had not renewed his projects at the pace he was expecting, and while he needed my help growing his future business, he told me he may not have the money to pay me.  I was depending on this particular client to cover my expenses for the next few months as I worked on various other new opportunities. Now, I had no assurance that I could meet my needs. As I prayed yesterday, I recalled the children of Israel in the desert….

And God says…” I will meet all your needs according to my riches in glory. I have promised to meet your needs, and I have promised to meet your needs every day. You will hear or read no promise about Me meeting your needs so far into the future that you can take your eyes off of Me and focus them on your bank account or storage facility. You will recall that manna could not be stored or kept overnight or anywhere into the future. You will recall that I have said for you to live day by day, trusting in Me to meet all your needs as they occur. It is “living on the spiritual and physical edge” to live day by day trusting Me to meet your needs right when they occur. As you live through and in this condition you will experience a vitality and excitement that cannot be realized in any other way.”

Journal DJR 3 15 11

Good morning, Lord.   You really are multi faceted.  You went to parties and also had your face set like a flint.   As we become Christlike, I suppose we are to get more like that … multifaceted, and party when it’s time and be resolute when that is called for?

Even when I was partying, I kept a background knowledge of my objective.   You can develop that too.

I seem to focus more on your mercy and grace and that you are OK with me and even like me…   I sense that this is for a time, now … and that later in your time, I will focus more on the resolute face set like flint aspects.

Yes, we are working on grace right now.  For you to give and receive…   You already know about being focused … and you will learn more of it later.   But right now you are to major on grace … keeping in the background of your mind all of my kingdom focus and objectives.