When I have sadly misunderstood Him? (see John 20:11-18).

It is possible to know all about doctrine and still not know Jesus. A person’s soul is in grave danger when the knowledge of doctrine surpasses Jesus, avoiding intimate touch with Him. Why was Mary weeping? Doctrine meant no more to her than the grass under her feet. In fact, any Pharisee could have made a fool of Mary doctrinally, but one thing they could never ridicule was the fact that Jesus had cast seven demons out of her (see Luke 8:2); yet His blessings were nothing to her in comparison with knowing Jesus Himself. “. . . she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, and did not know that it was Jesus. . . . Jesus said to her, ’Mary!’ ” (John 20:14, 16). Once He called Mary by her name, she immediately knew that she had a personal history with the One who spoke. “She turned and said to Him, ’Rabboni!’ ” (John 20:16).

When I have stubbornly doubted? (see John 20:24-29). Have I been doubting something about Jesus— maybe an experience to which others testify, but which I have not yet experienced? The other disciples said to Thomas, “We have seen the Lord” (John 20:25). But Thomas doubted, saying, “Unless I see . . . I will not believe” (John 20:25). Thomas needed the personal touch of Jesus. When His touches will come we never know, but when they do come they are indescribably precious. “Thomas . . . said to Him, ’My Lord and my God!’ ” (John 20:28).

When I have selfishly denied Him? (see John 21:15-17). Peter denied Jesus Christ with oaths and curses (see Matthew 26:69-75), and yet after His resurrection Jesus appeared to Peter alone. Jesus restored Peter in private, and then He restored him publicly before the others. And Peter said to Him, “Lord . . . You know that I love You” (John 21:17).

Do I have a personal history with Jesus Christ? The one true sign of discipleship is intimate oneness with Him— a knowledge of Jesus that nothing can shake.

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August 16, 2011

Journal Entry for Today-JDV

Lord, I have misunderstood, doubted and denied you. I have misunderstood, doubted and denied You in the middle of crisis and trials that seem too immediate and overwhelming.  I misunderstood your promise to give me strength inside of the trial; instead I kept looking for you to remove the trial. And when all my circumstances look hopeless, I do not always sing your praises. Sometimes I even ask, “why me?”

Inside of challenges, I know the right thing to do is to acknowledge you as my Lord and master, but I choose another response instead. Lord please help me to always choose You, even if I do not understand, and am ready to doubt and deny You.

And God says…”It is normal to misunderstand, doubt and deny Me. It is the human condition. However, you can transcend the human condition by surrendering your weakness for My strength.  It takes a supernatural condition provided by the Holy Spirit to accept, trust and believe when all around you screams… “Run, hide the sky is falling”. Seek Me and see Me and everything else will come into the right focus.”  When you seek and see Me, the sky may fall but deep down you know that I will either catch the falling sky or provide another way of salvation.”