They said to Moses, ’You speak with us, and we will hear; but let not God speak with us, lest we die’ `—Exodus 20:19
We don’t consciously and deliberately disobey God— we simply don’t listen to Him. God has given His commands to us, but we pay no attention to them— not because of willful disobedience, but because we do not truly love and respect Him. “If you love Me, keep My commandments” (John 14:15). Once we realize we have constantly been showing disrespect to God, we will be filled with shame and humiliation for ignoring Him.
“You speak with us, . . . but let not God speak with us . . . .” We show how little love we have for God by preferring to listen to His servants rather than to Him. We like to listen to personal testimonies, but we don’t want God Himself to speak to us. Why are we so terrified for God to speak to us? It is because we know that when God speaks we must either do what He asks or tell Him we will not obey. But if it is simply one of God’s servants speaking to us, we feel obedience is optional, not imperative. We respond by saying, “Well, that’s only your own idea, even though I don’t deny that what you said is probably God’s truth.”
Am I constantly humiliating God by ignoring Him, while He lovingly continues to treat me as His child? Once I finally do hear Him, the humiliation I have heaped on Him returns to me. My response then becomes, “Lord, why was I so insensitive and obstinate?” This is always the result once we hear God. But our real delight in finally hearing Him is tempered with the shame we feel for having taken so long to do so.
Journal DJR
Good Morning Lord,
I relate to the humiliation that comes from realizing the times I have wasted … chasing after my own things rather than your things. The only way I can survive the weight of realizing all my shortcomings is to realize your infinite love and willingness to forgive. I am so glad you put the story of the prodigal son in the book. Without your grace, I would be hopeless and helpless.
Yes, all my children, even the best performers, fall short of the standard. So I’ve made a way for you that doesn’t rely on your meeting the standard, but rather just simply accepting that Jesus has met it for you and paid your entrance fee.
Why then am I so sad when I realize my failures?
Realize that it is only the entrance fee that has been paid 100% by Jesus and you can do nothing to add to it. After you have entered into new life (now) … it is up to you what you do with it. You still need my power to live the abundant life I want for you. And it is available to all my children. It comes thru connection with me. So dont struggle to get better. If you want to struggle … struggle to tighten your connection with me.
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