At the beginning of our life with Jesus Christ, we were sure we knew all there was to know about following Him. It was a delight to forsake everything else and to throw ourselves before Him in a fearless statement of love. But now we are not quite so sure.Jesus is far ahead of us and is beginning to seem different and unfamiliar— “Jesus was going before them; and they were amazed” (Mark 10:32).

There is an aspect of Jesus that chills even a disciple’s heart to its depth and makes his entire spiritual life gasp for air. This unusual Person with His face set “like a flint” (Isaiah 50:7) is walking with great determination ahead of me, and He strikes terror right through me. He no longer seems to be my Counselor and Friend and has a point of view about which I know nothing. All I can do is stand and stare at Him in amazement. At first I was confident that I understood Him, but now I am not so sure. I begin to realize that there is a distance between Jesus and me and I can no longer be intimate with Him. I have no idea where He is going, and the goal has become strangely distant.

Jesus Christ had to understand fully every sin and sorrow that human beings could experience, and that is what makes Him seem unfamiliar. When we see this aspect of Him, we realize we really don’t know Him. We don’t recognize even one characteristic of His life, and we don’t know how to begin to follow Him. He is far ahead of us, a Leader who seems totally unfamiliar, and we have no friendship with Him.

The discipline of dismay is an essential lesson which a disciple must learn. The danger is that we tend to look back on our times of obedience and on our past sacrifices to God in an effort to keep our enthusiasm for Him strong (see Isaiah 1:10-11). But when the darkness of dismay comes, endure until it is over, because out of it will come the ability to follow Jesus truly, which brings inexpressibly wonderful joy.

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March 15, 2011

dis·may (d s-m )

tr.v. dis·mayed, dis·may·ing, dis·mays

1. To destroy the courage or resolution of by exciting dread or apprehension.

2. To cause to lose enthusiasm; disillusion: was dismayed to learn that her favorite dancer used drugs.

3. To upset or alarm.

I was searching for the right word that struck me during a meeting with a client yesterday. I spent two hours working on his company’s issues and opportunities with him and his partner, and then outside in the parking lot, he mentioned that he may not be able to pay my fee next month as we had contracted. His clients had not renewed his projects at the pace he was expecting, and while he needed my help growing his future business, he told me he may not have the money to pay me.  I was depending on this particular client to cover my expenses for the next few months as I worked on various other new opportunities. Now, I had no assurance that I could meet my needs. As I prayed yesterday, I recalled the children of Israel in the desert….

And God says…” I will meet all your needs according to my riches in glory. I have promised to meet your needs, and I have promised to meet your needs every day. You will hear or read no promise about Me meeting your needs so far into the future that you can take your eyes off of Me and focus them on your bank account or storage facility. You will recall that manna could not be stored or kept overnight or anywhere into the future. You will recall that I have said for you to live day by day, trusting in Me to meet all your needs as they occur. It is “living on the spiritual and physical edge” to live day by day trusting Me to meet your needs right when they occur. As you live through and in this condition you will experience a vitality and excitement that cannot be realized in any other way.”

Journal DJR 3 15 11

Good morning, Lord.   You really are multi faceted.  You went to parties and also had your face set like a flint.   As we become Christlike, I suppose we are to get more like that … multifaceted, and party when it’s time and be resolute when that is called for?

Even when I was partying, I kept a background knowledge of my objective.   You can develop that too.

I seem to focus more on your mercy and grace and that you are OK with me and even like me…   I sense that this is for a time, now … and that later in your time, I will focus more on the resolute face set like flint aspects.

Yes, we are working on grace right now.  For you to give and receive…   You already know about being focused … and you will learn more of it later.   But right now you are to major on grace … keeping in the background of your mind all of my kingdom focus and objectives.

The first thing I must be willing to admit when I begin to examine what controls and dominates me is that I am the one responsible for having yielded myself to whatever it may be. If I am a slave to myself, I am to blame because somewhere in the past I yielded to myself. Likewise, if I obey God I do so because at some point in my life I yielded myself to Him.

If a child gives in to selfishness, he will find it to be the most enslaving tyranny on earth. There is no power within the human soul itself that is capable of breaking the bondage of the nature created by yielding. For example, yield for one second to anything in the nature of lust, and although you may hate yourself for having yielded, you become enslaved to that thing. (Remember what lust is— “I must have it now,” whether it is the lust of the flesh or the lust of the mind.) No release or escape from it will ever come from any human power, but only through the power of redemption. You must yield yourself in utter humiliation to the only One who can break the dominating power in your life, namely, the Lord Jesus Christ. “. . . He has anointed Me . . . to proclaim liberty to the captives . . .” (Luke 4:18 and Isaiah 61:1).

When you yield to something, you will soon realize the tremendous control it has over you. Even though you say, “Oh, I can give up that habit whenever I like,” you will know you can’t. You will find that the habit absolutely dominates you because you willingly yielded to it. It is easy to sing, “He will break every fetter,” while at the same time living a life of obvious slavery to yourself. But yielding to Jesus will break every kind of slavery in any person’s life.

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March 14, 2011

Journal Entry for Today-JDV

I spent the better part of my prayer time yesterday listening for you God. I realize that I all too often simply take time to roll out all my petitions to you, and ask for your intervention and direction and then fail to stop and listen for your voice. Pastor Richard mentioned in his sermon yesterday that you want a dialog with us, and I know that, I simply have not taken the time recently to quiet myself down and listen for you.

 And God says…”Underneath all that I have made available to you is My desire to have a relationship with you. Jesus provides for our personal relationship just as I provide for all your needs. I ask you to bring Me your requests as part of our personal relationship.  I ask you to seek first the kingdom of heaven, and remind you that I will meet all your needs. And if you search the scriptures and the still small voice inside, you will recall that all that I have provided through Jesus I have provided to facilitate our personal relationship. And our relationship grows and is strengthened when we have a dialog. My sheep know My voice and respond to Me.”

To become one with Jesus Christ, a person must be willing not only to give up sin, but also to surrender his whole way of looking at things. Being born again by the Spirit of God means that we must first be willing to let go before we can grasp something else. The first thing we must surrender is all of our pretense or deceit. What our Lord wants us to present to Him is not our goodness, honesty, or our efforts to do better, but real solid sin. Actually, that is all He can take from us. And what He gives us in exchange for our sin is real solid righteousness. But we must surrender all pretense that we are anything, and give up all our claims of even being worthy of God’s consideration.

Once we have done that, the Spirit of God will show us what we need to surrender next. Along each step of this process, we will have to give up our claims to our rights to ourselves. Are we willing to surrender our grasp on all that we possess, our desires, and everything else in our lives? Are we ready to be identified with the death of Jesus Christ?

We will suffer a sharp painful disillusionment before we fully surrender. When people really see themselves as the Lord sees them, it is not the terribly offensive sins of the flesh that shock them, but the awful nature of the pride of their own hearts opposing Jesus Christ. When they see themselves in the light of the Lord, the shame, horror, and desperate conviction hit home for them.

If you are faced with the question of whether or not to surrender, make a determination to go on through the crisis, surrendering all that you have and all that you are to Him. And God will then equip you to do all that He requires of you.

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March 8, 2011

Journal Entry for Today-JDV

I wonder why God has not showed up. Where is He when I need Him the most? Has He left me on my own, or have I offended Him by letting my pride, selfishness and lust seep out of my sinful nature? He tells me that He will never leave me or forsake me and that nothing can separate me from His love. Why then do I feel so alone and abandoned in my circumstances right now?

And God says…”I have come to give you life and life more abundantly, not to give you everything you think you want or need.  My ways are not your ways, but consider this, if I loved you enough to give you My only Son, why then would I deny you any good thing? You must remember that the sacrifice of Jesus is so great that when I look at you I can only see Him, and His obedience. I cannot see your disobedience, I cannot look upon it. You cannot do anything to separate yourself from My love……You often feel alone and abandoned in your circumstances because you are looking at your failures and your circumstances instead of at Me.  Focus your eyes and the eyes of your heart on Me and see how your spiritual landscape changes.”

Paul was speaking here of the things that might seem likely to separate a saint from the love of God. But the remarkable thing is that nothing can come between the love of God and a saint. The things Paul mentioned in this passage can and do disrupt the close fellowship of our soul with God and separate our natural life from Him. But none of them is able to come between the love of God and the soul of a saint on the spiritual level. The underlying foundation of the Christian faith is the undeserved, limitless miracle of the love of God that was exhibited on the Cross of Calvary; a love that is not earned and can never be. Paul said this is the reason that “in all these things we are more than conquerors.” We are super-victors with a joy that comes from experiencing the very things which look as if they are going to overwhelm us.

Huge waves that would frighten an ordinary swimmer produce a tremendous thrill for the surfer who has ridden them. Let’s apply that to our own circumstances. The things we try to avoid and fight against— tribulation, suffering, and persecution— are the very things that produce abundant joy in us. “We are more than conquerors through Him” “in all these things”; not in spite of them, but in the midst of them. A saint doesn’t know the joy of the Lord in spite of tribulation, but because of it. Paul said, “I am exceedingly joyful in all our tribulation” (2 Corinthians 7:4).

The undiminished radiance, which is the result of abundant joy, is not built on anything passing, but on the love of God that nothing can change. And the experiences of life, whether they are everyday events or terrifying ones, are powerless to “separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:39).

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March 7, 2010

Journal Entry for Today-JDV

The vision I need, “My people perish from lack of vision” is hidden from me. I do not have a view of a vision or revelation of what I am to strive for. I have always had goals and dreams …..where are they now?

And God says…” You are right where I want you to be right now. Historically, when I show you the vision, you immediately begin to pursue it prematurely. Once you see your vision you have a tendency to take off in rapid pursuit. I am reluctant to show you the vision too early. Learn to live in Me day to day, trusting that I will provide all you need, including the vision. When I reveal your vision, you can attend to it then. Until then, know that you are here to love Me with all that you are, and love your neighbor as yourself. In these two commandments you will find, love, joy, peace, and blessings. Seek first the kingdom of God and all that you need, including vision, will be provided.

Proverbs 29:18 (The Message)

 ¹⁸ If people can’t see what God is doing, 
   they stumble all over themselves;
But when they attend to what he reveals, 
   they are most blessed.