Never choose to be a worker for God, but once God has placed His call on you, woe be to you if you “turn aside to the right hand or to the left” ( Deuteronomy 5:32 ). We are not here to work for God because we have chosen to do so, but because God has “laid hold of” us. And once He has done so, we never have this thought, “Well, I’m really not suited for this.” What you are to preach is also determined by God, not by your own natural leanings or desires. Keep your soul steadfastly related to God, and remember that you are called not simply to convey your testimony but also to preach the gospel. Every Christian must testify to the truth of God, but when it comes to the call to preach, there must be the agonizing grip of God’s hand on you— your life is in the grip of God for that very purpose. How many of us are held like that?

Never water down the Word of God, but preach it in its undiluted sternness. There must be unflinching faithfulness to the Word of God, but when you come to personal dealings with others, remember who you are— you are not some special being created in heaven, but a sinner saved by grace.

“Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do. . . I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” ( Philippians 3:13-14 ).

Today’s Journaling , DJR

Good morning Lord.  I hear what Oswald is saying today.   I dont feel gripped the way he talks about.  Usually at least.   What is up with that?   Is my faith defective, weak or is something else wrong with me?

You suffer from some of the same malady that my servant, John noted about the people in Laodacea.

Yes, I know this.  What is to be done?

Oswald is right, you cannot choose your calling or your passion.   You are to discover it.    And then be obedient to it and there is room for diversity in how you work it out.      But you can water  and fertilize the seeds and that is what you do by your choice to meet me here daily and other disciplines that I offer you to choose to do.    Dont crank up passion.  Let me build it as I have created you to be a vessel of passion and creativity to be a blessing. My eyes are looking thru the whole earth to find those who will say, with Isaiah, “here am I, send me.”   and not draw back.

I want to be that man.   But my experience is that of starting and running out of gas and falling back to a level of mediocrity, lukewarmness….

Wait on the Spirit for the passion and direction.  You must start in the Spirit and finish in the Spirit.   The flesh will always run out of gas.    Stay connected to me and practice obedience to the small things first.   Then they will get bigger.  Just stay connected and stay obedient and dont worry about lukewarmness.   I’ll take care of the temperature of all who will seek me and keep on knocking…  they will find me.

We say that there ought to be no sorrow, but there is sorrow, and we have to accept and receive ourselves in its fires. If we try to evade sorrow, refusing to deal with it, we are foolish. Sorrow is one of the biggest facts in life, and there is no use in saying it should not be. Sin, sorrow, and suffering are, and it is not for us to say that God has made a mistake in allowing them.

Sorrow removes a great deal of a person’s shallowness, but it does not always make that person better. Suffering either gives me to myself or it destroys me. You cannot find or receive yourself through success, because you lose your head over pride. And you cannot receive yourself through the monotony of your daily life, because you give in to complaining. The only way to find yourself is in the fires of sorrow. Why it should be this way is immaterial. The fact is that it is true in the Scriptures and in human experience. You can always recognize who has been through the fires of sorrow and received himself, and you know that you can go to him in your moment of trouble and find that he has plenty of time for you. But if a person has not been through the fires of sorrow, he is apt to be contemptuous, having no respect or time for you, only turning you away. If you will receive yourself in the fires of sorrow, God will make you nourishment for other people.

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Journal for Today-JDV

June 25, 2010

I struggle with the concept that I must have sorrow in my life. I struggle with the notion that I must feel the pain and experience the difficult times of life. For years I prayed that God would keep me from the trials and difficulties; that sickness and financial pressures would be removed. I prayed that my family and friends would be well and that days would be smooth for me and mine. I hoped and prayed for positive diagnosis,  great jobs and wonderful events and circumstances. And yet I know that the Lord has told me that in this life I would experience difficulties.

I am  being led to understand and internalize the notion  that life’s difficult circumstances will never go away, but that God will and does give us the power and courage to joyfully live in difficult circumstances that are a part of day to day living. And as we live inside and yet above difficult circumstances, God is glorified. He is glorified when we can live joyfully inside of difficult circumstances.

And Jesus says…”I came to give you life and life more abundantly, but I did not come to change this world. I came to honor and glorify the Father, and to change you. You can walk in this world, be a part of it, but you are no longer bound to or by it. When you see Me in the circumstances of this life, you know that the Father and I are holding you up. Others can see this as well and the Father is glorified.

When you “pray without ceasing” you are connected to Me, in anticipation of all the world can throw at you. And you can be joyful in the knowledge that in a world full of trouble, I will provide the peace, hope, courage, grace, knowledge and wisdom to overcome the world. Look for me in all things and you will find life exciting and surprising; even in the midst of sorrow. Let Me be God by expecting Me to deliver you or to protect and delightfully surprise you in a world full of sorrow.

Not being reconciled to the fact of sin— not recognizing it and refusing to deal with it— produces all the disasters in life. You may talk about the lofty virtues of human nature, but there is something in human nature that will mockingly laugh in the face of every principle you have. If you refuse to agree with the fact that there is wickedness and selfishness, something downright hateful and wrong, in human beings, when it attacks your life, instead of reconciling yourself to it, you will compromise with it and say that it is of no use to battle against it. Have you taken this “hour, and the power of darkness” into account, or do you have a view of yourself which includes no recognition of sin whatsoever? In your human relationships and friendships, have you reconciled yourself to the fact of sin? If not, just around the next corner you will find yourself trapped and you will compromise with it. But if you will reconcile yourself to the fact of sin, you will realize the danger immediately and say, “Yes, I see what this sin would mean.” The recognition of sin does not destroy the basis of friendship— it simply establishes a mutual respect for the fact that the basis of sinful life is disastrous. Always beware of any assessment of life which does not recognize the fact that there is sin.

Jesus Christ never trusted human nature, yet He was never cynical nor suspicious, because He had absolute trust in what He could do for human nature. The pure man or woman is the one who is shielded from harm, not the innocent person. The so-called innocent man or woman is never safe. Men and women have no business trying to be innocent; God demands that they be pure and virtuous. Innocence is the characteristic of a child. Any person is deserving of blame if he is unwilling to reconcile himself to the fact of sin.

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Journal Entry for Today-JDV

June 23, 2010

I wonder what point Oswald Chambers is trying to make in this devotional? It is another about the impact of sin in our lives. He is focused on the fact that human nature is not good; that we all have sin in our lives and that our goal is not innocence but purity. He reminds us that our friends and neighbors all have sin as a part of their nature as well.

Being reminded of this fact makes me wonder why I would ever reach out to anyone but Jesus. When I need hope or help and direction, why would I reach out to another human first? Why would I go to anyone except Jesus? I suspect I would and could reach out to a brother or sister in whom I could see Jesus, just as I hope others see Jesus in me.

And God says…”Stay close and connected to Me through Jesus. When you miss the mark, and you will, allow the Holy Spirit to point it out to you, AND allow Jesus to make the changes in you. Your job is to be obedient and trust Me and be receptive to the Holy Spirit’s direction. You know your position with Me in Jesus. You can easily identify brothers and sisters in Christ as well. You can reach out to other connected believers and seek their counsel, knowing that they too (just like you) will have great capacity to be disconnected. The Spirit of God within you can and will, connect with the Spirit of God within them and you can know when you can reach out to them. You can reach out to me through Jesus, and you can reach out to Jesus in others just like others can and will reach out to Jesus when they see Him in you.

The natural state is for others to see the flaws in you. They can see the sin that is obvious and always a part of a human. However, when you are connected to Me through Jesus, they will always see Jesus.

We are not “acquainted with grief” in the same way our Lord was acquainted with it. We endure it and live through it, but we do not become intimate with it. At the beginning of our lives we do not bring ourselves to the point of dealing with the reality of sin. We look at life through the eyes of reason and say that if a person will control his instincts, and educate himself, he can produce a life that will slowly evolve into the life of God. But as we continue on through life, we find the presence of something which we have not yet taken into account, namely, sin— and it upsets all of our thinking and our plans. Sin has made the foundation of our thinking unpredictable, uncontrollable, and irrational.

We have to recognize that sin is a fact of life, not just a shortcoming. Sin is blatant mutiny against God, and either sin or God must die in my life. The New Testament brings us right down to this one issue— if sin rules in me, God’s life in me will be killed; if God rules in me, sin in me will be killed. There is nothing more fundamental than that. The culmination of sin was the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, and what was true in the history of God on earth will also be true in your history and in mine— that is, sin will kill the life of God in us. We must mentally bring ourselves to terms with this fact of sin. It is the only explanation why Jesus Christ came to earth, and it is the explanation of the grief and sorrow of life.

Either Oswald Chambers has a more complex meaning to his phrase…”Sin will kill the life of God in us” or I misread Philippians 1:6 and Romans 8:38-39….God will complete the work he has begun in you….and……. Nothing can separate us from the love of God (my paraphrase).

Perhaps Oswald is talking about the grief and pain we cause our spirit when we sin, and sin we will. However, I am convinced that  we can overcome all sin in our lives, over time, through Christ Jesus. We conquer sin day by day. and totally overcome sin just like and just when  we also conquer death through Christ Jesus. And  until then, by the grace and love of God, we get back up again every time we fall. We grieve but are not locked into grief forever,  we stumble and are not crushed, we are dissappointed and discouraged but do not give up, thanks be to God  through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. JDV

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAA0ASlh1HU

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Journal for Today-JDV

June 23, 2010

When I read a devotional like this one I wonder about the power of grace and love of Jesus Christ. I wonder if we are to be trapped between the grace and forgiveness and the grief of falling as we do inevitably. I wonder and speculate that others may be able to simply decide to stop sin in their lives, but I cannot, and then as a result my thoughts begin to run off with the idea that perhaps I am not as worthy as others, or perhaps I missed the “stop sin” tool that was distributed at a private church meeting somewhere.

And God says….”You are forgiven all things through the blood of My Son. But grace is not license. When you fall you “get back up again” through prayer and repentance. Prayer not to repent of your sin and ask forgiveness again, that was settled at the cross, but a prayer of thanks and appreciation confirming that you no longer have to be trapped in sin. The evidence will follow.

This statement is not some haphazard theory, but it is an eternal law of God. Whatever judgment you give will be the very way you are judged. There is a difference between retaliation and retribution. Jesus said that the basis of life is retribution— “with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.” If you have been shrewd in finding out the shortcomings of others, remember that will be exactly how you will be measured. The way you pay is the way life will pay you back. This eternal law works from God’s throne down to us (see Psalm 18:25-26 ).

Romans 2:1 applies it in even a more definite way by saying that the one who criticizes another is guilty of the very same thing. God looks not only at the act itself, but also at the possibility of committing it, which He sees by looking at our hearts. To begin with, we do not believe the statements of the Bible. For instance, do we really believe the statement that says we criticize in others the very things we are guilty of ourselves? The reason we see hypocrisy, deceit, and a lack of genuineness in others is that they are all in our own hearts. The greatest characteristic of a saint is humility, as evidenced by being able to say honestly and humbly, “Yes, all those, as well as other evils, would have been exhibited in me if it were not for the grace of God. Therefore, I have no right to judge.”

Jesus said, “Judge not, that you be not judged” ( Matthew 7:1 ). He went on to say, in effect, “If you do judge, you will be judged in exactly the same way.” Who of us would dare to stand before God and say, “My God, judge me as I have judged others”? We have judged others as sinners— if God should judge us in the same way, we would be condemned to hell. Yet God judges us on the basis of the miraculous atonement by the Cross of Christ.

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Journal Entry for Today-JDV

June 22, 2010

I have heard two sermons and have had one or or two devotionals rise up to greet me on the subject of forgiveness and grace. On Sunday the pastor delivered a sermon on forgiveness and grace and how we receive what we give, and how hard it is to live life forgiving others.. On the way home from Los Angeles, driving and listening to a sermon on the radio I heard a similar message. And then this morning, Oswald Chambers reminds me of the lesson of forgiveness and the law of reciprocity. One lesson, Hmmmm. Two? Ok perhaps I need tuning up a bit. But three or four lessons on this topic in the last few days? Hmmmm. Ok God here I am open and receptive.

And God says…”This is a lesson you should review regularly. It is not enough that you help people and reach out for and to many that need help. It is not enough that you pray for others and hold your enemies up for blessings. The very best you can do for others will not ever be enough. And you will never develop your own spirit of love and grace and forgiveness for others. It is not possible. Your natural state will be to want things to be fair, and to strike out when someone hurts you or curses you or someone you love. Your natural state will be to protect yourself, and to criticize those that are not like you and yours, and to be defensive when someone else criticizes you or your beliefs and values.

You will and can however, allow me to live through you and let my grace and love pour out on others through you. You can be connected to me so that your natural state does not respond as it is “supposed” to respond. You can stay open to me, and allow My forgiveness, grace and peace to flow through you. You can be connected to Me, and let Me connect with others. You can do all things through Christ Jesus.

By what right have we become “a royal priesthood”? It is by the right of the atonement by the Cross of Christ that this has been accomplished. Are we prepared to purposely disregard ourselves and to launch out into the priestly work of prayer? The continual inner-searching we do in an effort to see if we are what we ought to be generates a self-centered, sickly type of Christianity, not the vigorous and simple life of a child of God. Until we get into this right and proper relationship with God, it is simply a case of our “hanging on by the skin of our teeth,” although we say, “What a wonderful victory I have!” Yet there is nothing at all in that which indicates the miracle of redemption. Launch out in reckless, unrestrained belief that the redemption is complete. Then don’t worry anymore about yourself, but begin to do as Jesus Christ has said, in essence, “Pray for the friend who comes to you at midnight, pray for the saints of God, and pray for all men.” Pray with the realization that you are perfect only in Christ Jesus, not on the basis of this argument: “Oh, Lord, I have done my best; please hear me now.”

How long is it going to take God to free us from the unhealthy habit of thinking only about ourselves? We must get to the point of being sick to death of ourselves, until there is no longer any surprise at anything God might tell us about ourselves. We cannot reach and understand the depths of our own meagerness. There is only one place where we are right with God, and that is in Christ Jesus. Once we are there, we have to pour out our lives for all we are worth in this ministry of the inner life.

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Journal Entry for Today- JDV

June 21, 2010

I want to be connected to the Spirit of God and connected to the life that He has laid out for me. However, sometimes I feel as if I as simply wandering around trying to find the direction or the next step or…..what I am doing wrong. It cannot be that difficult to find the direction God is leading me. Then why do I wonder and hesitate? Why do I wait and wonder instead of stepping out?

And God says…” Because you do not trust yourself to hear Me or you do not trust Me to lead you and love you every step of the way. As the devotional said the other day, begin to act as soon as you hear my voice and you will begin to hear Me with more conviction and knowing. When you know it is Me you will act. You only wonder about hearing Me because you have yet to develop the hearing necessary that can only come from immediate obedience, as soon as you hear me.

As Oswald Chambers said, act with reckless abandon as soon as you hear My voice and you will begin to hear me very clearly all the time. When you hesitate it is because you do not trust. You are not operating in faith and I can only respond to your faith. Step out in faith.

The wind really was boisterous and the waves really were high, but Peter didn’t see them at first. He didn’t consider them at all; he simply recognized his Lord, stepped out in recognition of Him, and “walked on the water.” Then he began to take those things around him into account, and instantly, down he went. Why couldn’t our Lord have enabled him to walk at the bottom of the waves, as well as on top of them? He could have, yet neither could be done without Peter’s continuing recognition of the Lord Jesus.

We step right out with recognition of God in some things, then self-consideration enters our lives and down we go. If you are truly recognizing your Lord, you have no business being concerned about how and where He engineers your circumstances. The things surrounding you are real, but when you look at them you are immediately overwhelmed, and even unable to recognize Jesus. Then comes His rebuke, “. . . why did you doubt?” ( Matthew 14:31 ). Let your actual circumstances be what they may, but keep recognizing Jesus, maintaining complete reliance upon Him.

If you debate for even one second when God has spoken, it is all over for you. Never start to say, “Well, I wonder if He really did speak to me?” Be reckless immediately— totally unrestrained and willing to risk everything— by casting your all upon Him. You do not know when His voice will come to you, but whenever the realization of God comes, even in the faintest way imaginable, be determined to recklessly abandon yourself, surrendering everything to Him. It is only through abandonment of yourself and your circumstances that you will recognize Him. You will only recognize His voice more clearly through recklessness— being willing to risk your all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riu-9y3SkjY&feature=related

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2RP6DRVWpU 

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Journal Entry for Today

June 18, 2010

It is another day with new challenges, trials, struggles and stress. The 21^st century storms for most Americans that I know. We all are struggling with the same things nowadays; the economy, the threat and reality of war and more war. Ongoing relationship struggles, financial struggles and worries about what will surprise us next. I often greet the day with trepidation instead of eager and joyous anticipation. Oh God can You show me Your face and Your hands on me holing me? Can You show me your presence and control of all things despite my circumstances and those I see all around me?

And God says…” That is exactly what I do, all the time. I do not change the storms or the waves or your circumstances. I change your view of the storm. Keep your eyes on Me and you will have the peace that passes understanding. When others see you in the storm in your circumstances, unafraid, joyous in fact, that is a miracle for them. When they see you and acknowledge your peace and joy right inside the storm, they too will often begin to look for Me inside their own storms. They know that the strength to praise me in the storm can only come from Me. And you know that nothing can separate you from My love.

Jesus’ instructions with regard to judging others is very simply put; He says, “Don’t.” The average Christian is the most piercingly critical individual known. Criticism is one of the ordinary activities of people, but in the spiritual realm nothing is accomplished by it. The effect of criticism is the dividing up of the strengths of the one being criticized.

The Holy Spirit is the only one in the proper position to criticize, and He alone is able to show what is wrong without hurting and wounding. It is impossible to enter into fellowship with God when you are in a critical mood. Criticism serves to make you harsh, vindictive, and cruel, and leaves you with the soothing and flattering idea that you are somehow superior to others. Jesus says that as His disciple you should cultivate a temperament that is never critical. This will not happen quickly but must be developed over a span of time. You must constantly beware of anything that causes you to think of yourself as a superior person.

There is no escaping the penetrating search of my life by Jesus. If I see the little speck in your eye, it means that I have a plank of timber in my own (see Matthew 7:3-5 ).

Every wrong thing that I see in you, God finds in me. Every time I judge, I condemn myself (see Romans 2:17-24 ). Stop having a measuring stick for other people. There is always at least one more fact, which we know nothing about, in every person’s situation. The first thing God does is to give us a thorough spiritual cleaning. After that, there is no possibility of pride remaining in us.

I have never met a person I could despair of, or lose all hope for, after discerning what lies in me apart from the grace of God.

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Journal Entry for Today-JDV

June 17, 2010

I feel rather smug today, knowing that one of the gifts God has given me is the gift of forgiveness, and I suspect that is very close to not being judgmental and critical is it not? I mean who are those people that judge other people anyway? I’ve been in those churches and am I glad I am not part of their group.

And God says…”Remember your judgment of those other believers? The ones that are very strict and do not feel the freedom you feel in and from My Spirit? Or what about those in the church that close ranks and do not open their arms wide in acceptance, have you not criticized them?

You can know that when you and others close ranks around your own ideas of what is or is not the right “kind of believer” you are judging, and your only awareness of the right road comes from me. You cannot boast about your gift of acceptance or forgiveness if is Me inside of you. You can boast in Me, and when you boast of Me, you can love others.

When people close ranks it is because they are frightened. Perfect love casts out fear. Help Me cast out fear by loving others right where I direct you. Even if their arms are closed around themselves, you can wrap my arms around them.

Jesus does not ask me to die for Him, but to lay down my life for Him. Peter said to the Lord, “I will lay down my life for Your sake,” and he meant it ( John 13:37 ). He had a magnificent sense of the heroic. For us to be incapable of making this same statement Peter made would be a bad thing— our sense of duty is only fully realized through our sense of heroism. Has the Lord ever asked you, “Will you lay down your life for My sake?” ( John 13:38 ). It is much easier to die than to lay down your life day in and day out with the sense of the high calling of God. We are not made for the bright-shining moments of life, but we have to walk in the light of them in our everyday ways. There was only one bright-shining moment in the life of Jesus, and that was on the Mount of Transfiguration. It was there that He emptied Himself of His glory for the second time, and then came down into the demon-possessed valley (seeMark 9:1-29 ). For thirty-three years Jesus laid down His life to do the will of His Father. “By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren” ( 1 John 3:16  ). Yet it is contrary to our human nature to do so.

If I am a friend of Jesus, I must deliberately and carefully lay down my life for Him. It is a difficult thing to do, and thank God that it is. Salvation is easy for us, because it cost God so much. But the exhibiting of salvation in my life is difficult. God saves a person, fills him with the Holy Spirit, and then says, in effect, “Now you work it out in your life, and be faithful to Me, even though the nature of everything around you is to cause you to be unfaithful.” And Jesus says to us, “. . . I have called you friends. . . .” Remain faithful to your Friend, and remember that His honor is at stake in your bodily life.

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Journal Entry for Today-JDV

June 16 2010

I wonder if I am connected this morning. Did I remember my connection as the first thing of my day, or did I run out and begin without Him again? Sometimes (even though I know better) I think that if I run out and begin my day and forget to give myself and my day to God then perhaps I will not be connected. Maybe I will not feel that intimate completeness that has become so, so right. Sometimes I wonder if I forget Him for a minute or two will I have to fight my way back to where I forgot Him in the hurrying around of the day or crisis or….

And God says…”You can do nothing to separate yourself from Me. I am with you through it all, all the time. You may stop hearing Me, you may not be open to what I am saying, but I am there, all the time speaking and reaching and holding you.

When you go off and try to find knowledge, or wisdom or accuracy for your work, distracted as you scurry around looking for answers, perhaps you could remember that I have the answers, for everything, and I will provide them.  There is no reason to run hither and yon, thinking you must do this or that first. There is no reason to believe or feel like you must get this or that accomplished and then reach out for me.

I have all that you need, all the time, and there is no reason to be separated from me……ever. When you believe that you must go off and accomplish this or that you are in effect saying you do not trust Me.

Give Me your life, all of it, all the time. Start with Me in all things, for all things and observe the change in your world.

In the matter of drudgery. Peter said in this passage that we have become “partakers of the divine nature” and that we should now be “giving all diligence,” concentrating on forming godly habits (2 Peter 1:4-5 ). We are to “add” to our lives all that character means. No one is born either naturally or supernaturally with character; it must be developed. Nor are we born with habits— we have to form godly habits on the basis of the new life God has placed within us. We are not meant to be seen as God’s perfect, bright-shining examples, but to be seen as the everyday essence of ordinary life exhibiting the miracle of His grace. Drudgery is the test of genuine character. The greatest hindrance in our spiritual life is that we will only look for big things to do. Yet, “Jesus . . . took a towel and . . . began to wash the disciples’ feet . . .” ( John 13:3-5  ).

We all have those times when there are no flashes of light and no apparent thrill to life, where we experience nothing but the daily routine with its common everyday tasks. The routine of life is actually God’s way of saving us between our times of great inspiration which come from Him. Don’t always expect God to give you His thrilling moments, but learn to live in those common times of the drudgery of life by the power of God.

It is difficult for us to do the “adding” that Peter mentioned here. We say we do not expect God to take us to heaven on flowery beds of ease, and yet we act as if we do! I must realize that my obedience even in the smallest detail of life has all of the omnipotent power of the grace of God behind it. If I will do my duty, not for duty’s sake but because I believe God is engineering my circumstances, then at the very point of my obedience all of the magnificent grace of God is mine through the glorious atonement by the Cross of Christ.

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Journal Entry for Today-JDV

June 15, 2010

Today I know and feel a difference. I know that God is in charge and leading and directing my life, even the drudgery. And I know that even the drudgery need not really be drudgery when we realize we are right in the middle of God’s will. The devotional today suggested, no it said, that we need the drudgery to either take a breather or to make us aware of God’s will……that is right inside the drudgery I can find  joyous anticipation of what God will do next in my life. When we are in His will we know we are right where He wants us to be. Regardless of the circumstance, He is/has/will deliver all we need or could ever hope for.

And God says “ My word is true…I am  able to do immeasurably more than all you ask or imagine, according to My power that is at work within you. Recall that I can see the past, present and future all at once. I know what you have experienced and what you are capable of experiencing. I will cover you with my hand and open the doors of your understanding. Simply be aware, trust and obey. When you abide in Me, you have a full life of knowing and believing in Me. You cannot fear when you are in Me.  You cannot trust the circumstances or what is going on around you, but you can trust Me. Trust that if I gave my Son for you, I will not withhold any good thing, and all things work for the good for those that love Me and are called according to my purpose.