As they followed they were afraid. —Mark 10:32

At the beginning of our life with Jesus Christ, we were sure we knew all there was to know about following Him. It was a delight to forsake everything else and to throw ourselves before Him in a fearless statement of love. But now we are not quite so sure. Jesus is far ahead of us and is beginning to seem different and unfamiliar— “Jesus was going before them; and they were amazed” (Mark 10:32).

There is an aspect of Jesus that chills even a disciple’s heart to its depth and makes his entire spiritual life gasp for air. This unusual Person with His face set “like a flint” (Isaiah 50:7) is walking with great determination ahead of me, and He strikes terror right through me. He no longer seems to be my Counselor and Friend and has a point of view about which I know nothing. All I can do is stand and stare at Him in amazement. At first I was confident that I understood Him, but now I am not so sure. I begin to realize that there is a distance between Jesus and me and I can no longer be intimate with Him. I have no idea where He is going, and the goal has become strangely distant.

Jesus Christ had to understand fully every sin and sorrow that human beings could experience, and that is what makes Him seem unfamiliar. When we see this aspect of Him, we realize we really don’t know Him. We don’t recognize even one characteristic of His life, and we don’t know how to begin to follow Him. He is far ahead of us, a Leader who seems totally unfamiliar, and we have no friendship with Him.

The discipline of dismay is an essential lesson which a disciple must learn. The danger is that we tend to look back on our times of obedience and on our past sacrifices to God in an effort to keep our enthusiasm for Him strong (see Isaiah 50:10-11). But when the darkness of dismay comes, endure until it is over, because out of it will come the ability to follow Jesus truly, which brings inexpressibly wonderful joy.

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Journal Entry for Today-JDV

March 15, 2017

Lord, it seems that Chambers is telling us to “suck it up” and follow Jesus in spite of our fear and dismay. That we are to “press on” anyway. However, the disciples were afraid because Jesus had burst their “bubble” regarding His, and their, pending  status with the Romans and Pharisees. Their fear seemed to be justified and very real…their lives were, or would shortly be in danger, and they knew this. And if my knowledge of the series of events at that time are accurate, the Holy Spirit had not yet been given them.

Then what are we to do when it appears that our hopes, expectations and dreams have collapsed or are about to collapse around us, and we know that our lives and/or lifestyle may be in jeopardy? Are we to “suck it up” and “press on”? If so, that has not worked out too well for me historically. When things in  life unravel, after I have surrendered and tried to  stay close to You,  dismay is only one of the fear based emotions I feel. Is this OK? What else can I do?

And God says…”You have received the Holy Spirit, just as the disciples would a few days later. The Holy Spirit combined with the vision I have given you will allow you to live in eager anticipation of what will happen, regardless of your circumstances. You do not have to “suck it up” or “press on”; you can live in eager anticipation of My promises. You can live in heart pounding, adrenalized, anticipation of what is about to unfold in your life and the lives of those you love.”

“Trust in the Lord with all your might and do not relay on your own ways, means and understanding and I will make your paths straight. Seek first the Kingdom of God, which is Jesus, and I will provide everything else you require, including the vision for an exciting and fulfilling tomorrow. My people perish from a lack of vision. Take hold of the vision I have or will provide you at your request, and remember that I make all things new again.”

you are that one’s slaves whom you obey… —Romans 6:16

For God so loved the world that He gave… —John 3:16

Salvation does not mean merely deliverance from sin or the experience of personal holiness. The salvation which comes from God means being completely delivered from myself, and being placed into perfect union with Him. When I think of my salvation experience, I think of being delivered from sin and gaining personal holiness. But salvation is so much more! It means that the Spirit of God has brought me into intimate contact with the true Person of God Himself. And as I am caught up into total surrender to God, I become thrilled with something infinitely greater than myself.

To say that we are called to preach holiness or sanctification is to miss the main point. We are called to proclaim Jesus Christ (see 1 Corinthians 2:2). The fact that He saves from sin and makes us holy is actually part of the effect of His wonderful and total surrender to us.

If we are truly surrendered, we will never be aware of our own efforts to remain surrendered. Our entire life will be consumed with the One to whom we surrender. Beware of talking about surrender if you know nothing about it. In fact, you will never know anything about it until you understand that John 3:16 means that God completely and absolutely gave Himself to us. In our surrender, we must give ourselves to God in the same way He gave Himself for us— totally, unconditionally, and without reservation. The consequences and circumstances resulting from our surrender will never even enter our mind, because our life will be totally consumed with Him.

Do you also want to go away? —John 6:67

I have been crucified with Christ… —Galatians 2:20

To become one with Jesus Christ, a person must be willing not only to give up sin, but also to surrender his whole way of looking at things. Being born again by the Spirit of God means that we must first be willing to let go before we can grasp something else. The first thing we must surrender is all of our pretense or deceit. What our Lord wants us to present to Him is not our goodness, honesty, or our efforts to do better, but real solid sin. Actually, that is all He can take from us. And what He gives us in exchange for our sin is real solid righteousness. But we must surrender all pretense that we are anything, and give up all our claims of even being worthy of God’s consideration.

Once we have done that, the Spirit of God will show us what we need to surrender next. Along each step of this process, we will have to give up our claims to our rights to ourselves. Are we willing to surrender our grasp on all that we possess, our desires, and everything else in our lives? Are we ready to be identified with the death of Jesus Christ?

We will suffer a sharp painful disillusionment before we fully surrender. When people really see themselves as the Lord sees them, it is not the terribly offensive sins of the flesh that shock them, but the awful nature of the pride of their own hearts opposing Jesus Christ. When they see themselves in the light of the Lord, the shame, horror, and desperate conviction hit home for them.

If you are faced with the question of whether or not to surrender, make a determination to go on through the crisis, surrendering all that you have and all that you are to Him. And God will then equip you to do all that He requires of you.

In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. —Romans 8:37

…in much patience, in tribulations, in needs, in distresses. —2 Corinthians 6:4

When you have no vision from God, no enthusiasm left in your life, and no one watching and encouraging you, it requires the grace of Almighty God to take the next step in your devotion to Him, in the reading and studying of His Word, in your family life, or in your duty to Him. It takes much more of the grace of God, and a much greater awareness of drawing upon Him, to take that next step, than it does to preach the gospel.

Every Christian must experience the essence of the incarnation by bringing the next step down into flesh-and-blood reality and by working it out with his hands. We lose interest and give up when we have no vision, no encouragement, and no improvement, but only experience our everyday life with its trivial tasks. The thing that really testifies for God and for the people of God in the long run is steady perseverance, even when the work cannot be seen by others. And the only way to live an undefeated life is to live looking to God. Ask God to keep the eyes of your spirit open to the risen Christ, and it will be impossible for drudgery to discourage you. Never allow yourself to think that some tasks are beneath your dignity or too insignificant for you to do, and remind yourself of the example of Christ inJohn 13:1-17.

Feed My sheep. —John 21:17

He said to him the third time, “…do you love Me?” —John 21:17

Have you ever felt the pain, inflicted by the Lord, at the very center of your being, deep down in the most sensitive area of your life? The devil never inflicts pain there, and neither can sin nor human emotions. Nothing can cut through to that part of our being but the Word of God. “Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, ‘Do you love Me?’ ” Yet he was awakened to the fact that at the center of his personal life he was devoted to Jesus. And then he began to see what Jesus’ patient questioning meant. There was not the slightest bit of doubt left in Peter’s mind; he could never be deceived again. And there was no need for an impassioned response; no need for immediate action or an emotional display. It was a revelation to him to realize how much he did love the Lord, and with amazement he simply said, “Lord, You know all things….” Peter began to see how very much he did love Jesus, and there was no need to say, “Look at this or that as proof of my love.” Peter was beginning to discover within himself just how much he really did love the Lord. He discovered that his eyes were so fixed on Jesus Christ that he saw no one else in heaven above or on the earth below. But he did not know it until the probing, hurting questions of the Lord were asked. The Lord’s questions always reveal the true me to myself.

Oh, the wonder of the patient directness and skill of Jesus Christ with Peter! Our Lord never asks questions until the perfect time. Rarely, but probably once in each of our lives, He will back us into a corner where He will hurt us with His piercing questions. Then we will realize that we do love Him far more deeply than our words can ever say.

Afterword from Oswald Chambers today…
Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One Who is leading.

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Journal DJR
Good Morning Lord. I’m glad the afterword was attached after today’s daily offering from Oswald Chambers. It seems universally true, all the time. Whereas the probing hurting questions come at a time not of our choosing and perhaps once in a lifetime. Your perfect timing, of course, but not something for me to spend much effort considering. The afterword, however, gives plenty to consider and relish every day. Knowing that you are good and you are for me. (and everyone and everything else) is a good background for all my other thoughts. It also needs to be worked in to my spirit to displace previous thinking to the contrary. … That you were not necessarily good and I was floundering on my own, with you looking on, collecting evidence, and getting ready for my judgement. Thank you for your many words and stories that show me otherwise. They’ve been there all along. I’m just seeing them with new eyes now, again.

Jeremiah 29:11 I know the plans I have for you … plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Romans 8:28 …God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Things like that provide good perspective and background with which to consider all the circumstances that come my way. Please help me remember these things … especially when the circumstances look overwhelming and negative.

It seems you deal with me and bring me to the realization of your love for me and my love for you in different ways. Like yesterday when a log of deadfall from a tree fell out of the sky and landed a few feet from me and my grandson. And many near misses like that in my life. They convince me of the truth of those verses, more and more. So, thank you. I don’t need to figure out all the details. It is good to just know that you are good and you are for me. Help me just remember and soak in that.

Do you love Me? —John 21:17

Peter’s response to this piercing question is considerably different from the bold defiance he exhibited only a few days before when he declared, “Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!” (Matthew 26:35; also see Matthew 26:33-34). Our natural individuality, or our natural self, boldly speaks out and declares its feelings. But the true love within our inner spiritual self can be discovered only by experiencing the hurt of this question of Jesus Christ. Peter loved Jesus in the way any natural man loves a good person. Yet that is nothing but emotional love. It may reach deeply into our natural self, but it never penetrates to the spirit of a person. True love never simply declares itself. Jesus said, “Whoever confesses Me before men [that is, confesses his love by everything he does, not merely by his words], him the Son of Man also will confess before the angels of God” (Luke 12:8).

Unless we are experiencing the hurt of facing every deception about ourselves, we have hindered the work of the Word of God in our lives. The Word of God inflicts hurt on us more than sin ever could, because sin dulls our senses. But this question of the Lord intensifies our sensitivities to the point that this hurt produced by Jesus is the most exquisite pain conceivable. It hurts not only on the natural level, but also on the deeper spiritual level. “For the Word of God is living and powerful…, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit…”— to the point that no deception can remain (Hebrews 4:12). When the Lord asks us this question, it is impossible to think and respond properly, because when the Lord speaks directly to us, the pain is too intense. It causes such a tremendous hurt that any part of our life which may be out of line with His will can feel the pain. There is never any mistaking the pain of the Lord’s Word by His children, but the moment that pain is felt is the very moment at which God reveals His truth to us.

Journal DJR
Good Morning Lord, As usual, Chambers makes a universal statement, or at least gives me the feeling that his description of how you bring exquisite pain to us, is “always” the way you work in our lives. Of course you are bigger than any box we can contrive… and are free to work in our lives any way you want. Although we need to reject all boxes that Chambers or any teacher or system try to pigeon hole you into… we still must seek the kernel of truth in whatever they are saying. i.e. don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. That is what we are doing a lot these days as we are learning new aspects of you and your love. Richard Rohr mentioned “Transcend and Include” as a guide to finding new truth. Don’t reject our older truth, the truth that got us this far… but integrate the part that is true in to our new bigger picture. The metaphor of the blind men each experiencing an elephant by touching different parts is helpful. Perhaps we had known the elephant as tree by touching a leg. Now we touch the tail and find it rope like. But the tree likeness of the leg is still true. So help us integrate all of our past insights with what you are showing us now, and in the future.

Back to your question, Do you love me? I would say like the man you asked if he believed… Yes Lord I love you, but help my lack of love. Perhaps as we bring that love and lack of love into focus I will experience that “exquisite pain” that Chambers refers to and Peter felt after his denial. It seems like that intense experience only needs to happen once in a lifetime, or rarely???

Don’t over analyze it. It will happen as much as it needs to and you will allow. I mean as much as your surrender and connection and vulnerability will allow. If you don’t build walls of systematic theology that I need to fit into… More things can happen than you expect. Aspects of my love that you don’t even conceive of. So keep on coming on the path you are on. Know that there will be opposition, from religious systems, people and even your own love to be in control, have it figured out, be right etc.

Got it. BTW, did you wrestle with the same Big Four that we do? Look good, Feel good, Be right and Be in control.

Yes, it came with the package. When I agreed to enter this dimension in Bethlehem, I left what you might call my Super Powers and Exemptions and took on a full package of Humanity. Satan wouldn’t have tried the temptations that he did if he didn’t think he had the possibility of being successful. But just as I said, No thank you… Actually I told him what was written, you also can rely on what is written, even when it doesn’t seem to be true. You can rely on my love even when you don’t feel it. Just as I relied on Abba’s love, when I would have liked another way. I knew that regardless of the short term pain, it would all wind up good in the end. You can arm yourself with that same knowledge. It may seem PollyAnna to some and even yourself at first… but when this peace that passes understanding is proven and real, it will be compelling to them and you !! Then you will really believe.

Matt 26:39 He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.”

Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes everything to work together[a] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.