At the beginning of our life with Jesus Christ, we were sure we knew all there was to know about following Him. It was a delight to forsake everything else and to throw ourselves before Him in a fearless statement of love. But now we are not quite so sure.Jesus is far ahead of us and is beginning to seem different and unfamiliar— “Jesus was going before them; and they were amazed” (Mark 10:32).

There is an aspect of Jesus that chills even a disciple’s heart to its depth and makes his entire spiritual life gasp for air. This unusual Person with His face set “like a flint” (Isaiah 50:7) is walking with great determination ahead of me, and He strikes terror right through me. He no longer seems to be my Counselor and Friend and has a point of view about which I know nothing. All I can do is stand and stare at Him in amazement. At first I was confident that I understood Him, but now I am not so sure. I begin to realize that there is a distance between Jesus and me and I can no longer be intimate with Him. I have no idea where He is going, and the goal has become strangely distant.

Jesus Christ had to understand fully every sin and sorrow that human beings could experience, and that is what makes Him seem unfamiliar. When we see this aspect of Him, we realize we really don’t know Him. We don’t recognize even one characteristic of His life, and we don’t know how to begin to follow Him. He is far ahead of us, a Leader who seems totally unfamiliar, and we have no friendship with Him.

The discipline of dismay is an essential lesson which a disciple must learn. The danger is that we tend to look back on our times of obedience and on our past sacrifices to God in an effort to keep our enthusiasm for Him strong (see Isaiah 1:10-11). But when the darkness of dismay comes, endure until it is over, because out of it will come the ability to follow Jesus truly, which brings inexpressibly wonderful joy.

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March 15, 2011

dis·may (d s-m )

tr.v. dis·mayed, dis·may·ing, dis·mays

1. To destroy the courage or resolution of by exciting dread or apprehension.

2. To cause to lose enthusiasm; disillusion: was dismayed to learn that her favorite dancer used drugs.

3. To upset or alarm.

I was searching for the right word that struck me during a meeting with a client yesterday. I spent two hours working on his company’s issues and opportunities with him and his partner, and then outside in the parking lot, he mentioned that he may not be able to pay my fee next month as we had contracted. His clients had not renewed his projects at the pace he was expecting, and while he needed my help growing his future business, he told me he may not have the money to pay me.  I was depending on this particular client to cover my expenses for the next few months as I worked on various other new opportunities. Now, I had no assurance that I could meet my needs. As I prayed yesterday, I recalled the children of Israel in the desert….

And God says…” I will meet all your needs according to my riches in glory. I have promised to meet your needs, and I have promised to meet your needs every day. You will hear or read no promise about Me meeting your needs so far into the future that you can take your eyes off of Me and focus them on your bank account or storage facility. You will recall that manna could not be stored or kept overnight or anywhere into the future. You will recall that I have said for you to live day by day, trusting in Me to meet all your needs as they occur. It is “living on the spiritual and physical edge” to live day by day trusting Me to meet your needs right when they occur. As you live through and in this condition you will experience a vitality and excitement that cannot be realized in any other way.”

Journal DJR 3 15 11

Good morning, Lord.   You really are multi faceted.  You went to parties and also had your face set like a flint.   As we become Christlike, I suppose we are to get more like that … multifaceted, and party when it’s time and be resolute when that is called for?

Even when I was partying, I kept a background knowledge of my objective.   You can develop that too.

I seem to focus more on your mercy and grace and that you are OK with me and even like me…   I sense that this is for a time, now … and that later in your time, I will focus more on the resolute face set like flint aspects.

Yes, we are working on grace right now.  For you to give and receive…   You already know about being focused … and you will learn more of it later.   But right now you are to major on grace … keeping in the background of your mind all of my kingdom focus and objectives.

The first thing I must be willing to admit when I begin to examine what controls and dominates me is that I am the one responsible for having yielded myself to whatever it may be. If I am a slave to myself, I am to blame because somewhere in the past I yielded to myself. Likewise, if I obey God I do so because at some point in my life I yielded myself to Him.

If a child gives in to selfishness, he will find it to be the most enslaving tyranny on earth. There is no power within the human soul itself that is capable of breaking the bondage of the nature created by yielding. For example, yield for one second to anything in the nature of lust, and although you may hate yourself for having yielded, you become enslaved to that thing. (Remember what lust is— “I must have it now,” whether it is the lust of the flesh or the lust of the mind.) No release or escape from it will ever come from any human power, but only through the power of redemption. You must yield yourself in utter humiliation to the only One who can break the dominating power in your life, namely, the Lord Jesus Christ. “. . . He has anointed Me . . . to proclaim liberty to the captives . . .” (Luke 4:18 and Isaiah 61:1).

When you yield to something, you will soon realize the tremendous control it has over you. Even though you say, “Oh, I can give up that habit whenever I like,” you will know you can’t. You will find that the habit absolutely dominates you because you willingly yielded to it. It is easy to sing, “He will break every fetter,” while at the same time living a life of obvious slavery to yourself. But yielding to Jesus will break every kind of slavery in any person’s life.

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March 14, 2011

Journal Entry for Today-JDV

I spent the better part of my prayer time yesterday listening for you God. I realize that I all too often simply take time to roll out all my petitions to you, and ask for your intervention and direction and then fail to stop and listen for your voice. Pastor Richard mentioned in his sermon yesterday that you want a dialog with us, and I know that, I simply have not taken the time recently to quiet myself down and listen for you.

 And God says…”Underneath all that I have made available to you is My desire to have a relationship with you. Jesus provides for our personal relationship just as I provide for all your needs. I ask you to bring Me your requests as part of our personal relationship.  I ask you to seek first the kingdom of heaven, and remind you that I will meet all your needs. And if you search the scriptures and the still small voice inside, you will recall that all that I have provided through Jesus I have provided to facilitate our personal relationship. And our relationship grows and is strengthened when we have a dialog. My sheep know My voice and respond to Me.”

To become one with Jesus Christ, a person must be willing not only to give up sin, but also to surrender his whole way of looking at things. Being born again by the Spirit of God means that we must first be willing to let go before we can grasp something else. The first thing we must surrender is all of our pretense or deceit. What our Lord wants us to present to Him is not our goodness, honesty, or our efforts to do better, but real solid sin. Actually, that is all He can take from us. And what He gives us in exchange for our sin is real solid righteousness. But we must surrender all pretense that we are anything, and give up all our claims of even being worthy of God’s consideration.

Once we have done that, the Spirit of God will show us what we need to surrender next. Along each step of this process, we will have to give up our claims to our rights to ourselves. Are we willing to surrender our grasp on all that we possess, our desires, and everything else in our lives? Are we ready to be identified with the death of Jesus Christ?

We will suffer a sharp painful disillusionment before we fully surrender. When people really see themselves as the Lord sees them, it is not the terribly offensive sins of the flesh that shock them, but the awful nature of the pride of their own hearts opposing Jesus Christ. When they see themselves in the light of the Lord, the shame, horror, and desperate conviction hit home for them.

If you are faced with the question of whether or not to surrender, make a determination to go on through the crisis, surrendering all that you have and all that you are to Him. And God will then equip you to do all that He requires of you.

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March 8, 2011

Journal Entry for Today-JDV

I wonder why God has not showed up. Where is He when I need Him the most? Has He left me on my own, or have I offended Him by letting my pride, selfishness and lust seep out of my sinful nature? He tells me that He will never leave me or forsake me and that nothing can separate me from His love. Why then do I feel so alone and abandoned in my circumstances right now?

And God says…”I have come to give you life and life more abundantly, not to give you everything you think you want or need.  My ways are not your ways, but consider this, if I loved you enough to give you My only Son, why then would I deny you any good thing? You must remember that the sacrifice of Jesus is so great that when I look at you I can only see Him, and His obedience. I cannot see your disobedience, I cannot look upon it. You cannot do anything to separate yourself from My love……You often feel alone and abandoned in your circumstances because you are looking at your failures and your circumstances instead of at Me.  Focus your eyes and the eyes of your heart on Me and see how your spiritual landscape changes.”

Paul was speaking here of the things that might seem likely to separate a saint from the love of God. But the remarkable thing is that nothing can come between the love of God and a saint. The things Paul mentioned in this passage can and do disrupt the close fellowship of our soul with God and separate our natural life from Him. But none of them is able to come between the love of God and the soul of a saint on the spiritual level. The underlying foundation of the Christian faith is the undeserved, limitless miracle of the love of God that was exhibited on the Cross of Calvary; a love that is not earned and can never be. Paul said this is the reason that “in all these things we are more than conquerors.” We are super-victors with a joy that comes from experiencing the very things which look as if they are going to overwhelm us.

Huge waves that would frighten an ordinary swimmer produce a tremendous thrill for the surfer who has ridden them. Let’s apply that to our own circumstances. The things we try to avoid and fight against— tribulation, suffering, and persecution— are the very things that produce abundant joy in us. “We are more than conquerors through Him” “in all these things”; not in spite of them, but in the midst of them. A saint doesn’t know the joy of the Lord in spite of tribulation, but because of it. Paul said, “I am exceedingly joyful in all our tribulation” (2 Corinthians 7:4).

The undiminished radiance, which is the result of abundant joy, is not built on anything passing, but on the love of God that nothing can change. And the experiences of life, whether they are everyday events or terrifying ones, are powerless to “separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:39).

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March 7, 2010

Journal Entry for Today-JDV

The vision I need, “My people perish from lack of vision” is hidden from me. I do not have a view of a vision or revelation of what I am to strive for. I have always had goals and dreams …..where are they now?

And God says…” You are right where I want you to be right now. Historically, when I show you the vision, you immediately begin to pursue it prematurely. Once you see your vision you have a tendency to take off in rapid pursuit. I am reluctant to show you the vision too early. Learn to live in Me day to day, trusting that I will provide all you need, including the vision. When I reveal your vision, you can attend to it then. Until then, know that you are here to love Me with all that you are, and love your neighbor as yourself. In these two commandments you will find, love, joy, peace, and blessings. Seek first the kingdom of God and all that you need, including vision, will be provided.

Proverbs 29:18 (The Message)

 ¹⁸ If people can’t see what God is doing, 
   they stumble all over themselves;
But when they attend to what he reveals, 
   they are most blessed.

It is easier to serve or work for God without a vision and without a call, because then you are not bothered by what He requires. Common sense, covered with a layer of Christian emotion, becomes your guide. You may be more prosperous and successful from the world’s perspective, and will have more leisure time, if you never acknowledge the call of God. But once you receive a commission from Jesus Christ, the memory of what God asks of you will always be there to prod you on to do His will. You will no longer be able to work for Him on the basis of common sense.

What do I count in my life as “dear to myself”? If I have not been seized by Jesus Christ and have not surrendered myself to Him, I will consider the time I decide to give God and my own ideas of service as dear. I will also consider my own life as “dear to myself.” But Paul said he considered his life dear so that he might fulfill the ministry he had received, and he refused to use his energy on anything else. This verse shows an almost noble annoyance by Paul at being asked to consider himself. He was absolutely indifferent to any consideration other than that of fulfilling the ministry he had received. Our ordinary and reasonable service to God may actually compete against our total surrender to Him. Our reasonable work is based on the following argument which we say to ourselves, “Remember how useful you are here, and think how much value you would be in that particular type of work.” That attitude chooses our own judgment, instead of Jesus Christ, to be our guide as to where we should go and where we could be used the most. Never consider whether or not you are of use— but always consider that “you are not your own” (1 Corinthians 6:19). You are His.

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March 4, 2011

It seems that You are teaching me a lesson about trusting You to be very clear regarding Your will and direction for my life. I am not to choose my direction and ask You to bless my choice, I am to wait, and wait and wait (if necessary) on your direction….. trusting Your will and timing.

And God says…”Too often you, like many others, assume you know what I want you to do in a situation or circumstance;  you offer up a prayer and …”away you go” asking Me to bless the road or choice you ”thought” I wanted you to follow. But that is not the way to live in My will. I am not the author of chaos or uncertainty. For you the issue is one of waiting. Wait, be patient, let patience have her time. You will ALWAYS know exactly what I want you do, where to go, how to go there. Ask, and you shall receive, knock and the door will be opened, Those that wait upon the Lord grow strong, and certain.”

This is love in the making. The love of God is not created— it is His nature. When we receive the life of Christ through the Holy Spirit, He unites us with God so that His love is demonstrated in us. The goal of the indwelling Holy Spirit is not just to unite us with God, but to do it in such a way that we will be one with the Father in exactly the same way Jesus was. And what kind of oneness did Jesus Christ have with the Father? He had such a oneness with the Father that He was obedient when His Father sent Him down here to be poured out for us. And He says to us, “As the Father has sent Me, I also send you” (John 20:21).

Peter now realizes that he does love Him, due to the revelation that came with the Lord’s piercing question. The Lord’s next point is— “Pour yourself out. Don’t testify about how much you love Me and don’t talk about the wonderful revelation you have had, just ’Feed My sheep.’ ” Jesus has some extraordinarily peculiar sheep: some that are unkempt and dirty, some that are awkward or pushy, and some that have gone astray! But it is impossible to exhaust God’s love, and it is impossible to exhaust my love if it flows from the Spirit of God within me. The love of God pays no attention to my prejudices caused by my natural individuality. If I love my Lord, I have no business being guided by natural emotions— I have to feed His sheep. We will not be delivered or released from His commission to us. Beware of counterfeiting the love of God by following your own natural human emotions, sympathies, or understandings. That will only serve to revile and abuse the true love of God.

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March 3, 2011

Journal Entry for Today-JDV

Lord, I have a very important meeting today. Can You and will You help me with it?

And God says…”Of course I can and will help You. However, you should always understand that that I have the very best in mind for you. Your notion of what is good for you and My notion of what is the very best for you may be different.  Today you believe your future will be better if the outcome of your meeting goes a particular way. However, what if you went into your meeting knowing that I have already secured the very best future for you and all you need do is to rest and trust in Me?  You can go into your meeting free and unencumbered by expectations. You can go into your meeting trusting Me and have all your facilities available to You for honest and open communication. Trust in Me with all your heart and do not rely on your own devices and I will make your paths straight.

Isaiah 40:31 (New International Version, ©2011)

³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint.

Have you ever felt the pain, inflicted by the Lord, at the very center of your being, deep down in the most sensitive area of your life? The devil never inflicts pain there, and neither can sin nor human emotions. Nothing can cut through to that part of our being but the Word of God. “Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, ’Do you love Me?’ ” Yet he was awakened to the fact that at the center of his personal life he was devoted to Jesus. And then he began to see what Jesus’ patient questioning meant. There was not the slightest bit of doubt left in Peter’s mind; he could never be deceived again. And there was no need for an impassioned response; no need for immediate action or an emotional display. It was a revelation to him to realize how much he did love the Lord, and with amazement he simply said, “Lord, You know all things . . . .” Peter began to see how very much he did love Jesus, and there was no need to say, “Look at this or that as proof of my love.” Peter was beginning to discover within himself just how much he really did love the Lord. He discovered that his eyes were so fixed on Jesus Christ that he saw no one else in heaven above or on the earth below. But he did not know it until the probing, hurting questions of the Lord were asked. The Lord’s questions always reveal the true me to myself.

Oh, the wonder of the patient directness and skill of Jesus Christ with Peter! Our Lord never asks questions until the perfect time. Rarely, but probably once in each of our lives, He will back us into a corner where He will hurt us with His piercing questions. Then we will realize that we do love Him far more deeply than our words can ever say.

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March 2, 2011

Journal Entry for Today-JDV

Right up until the time that I lose my temper, or my thought regulator, I begin to feel smug and safe in my role and growth as a believer. And then out of nowhere, I lose my way.

And God says…”When you feel safe, are you still vigilant? Where do you think the enemy goes to steal, and cause havoc?  He goes to the source of light. He and his are drawn to those that are making a difference as believers. Plan for your next temptation, plan for your next attack…..know in advance what you will do before he attacks you. ….Be prepared as you are for many other dangers in this world. I have given you the tools and directions, simply obey and claim victory.”

James 4:7 (New International Version, ©2011)

 ⁷ Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Ephesians 6:11-18 (New International Version, ©2011)

¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

 ¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.